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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 2, 2007 21:02:24 GMT
This is not how it's supposed to be, Rose thought miserably to herself, hugging her legs to her chest and resting her cheek lightly on her knee.
Then how is it supposed to be? The rational part of her conscience asked her, This is how it is for you.
Make a respectable pure blood marriage and then my life is over? That's not life, She answered herself without having to contemplate.
A small sigh escaped her lips, and she lifted her head again, knowing there was no point in being foolish and miserable. The shadows of the castle fell over her, making her feel small and insignificant. Which is just how she was. Small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, no one would notice or even care if she wasn't here anymore.
As soon as she thought this, she immediately shook her head to clear it. Thoughts like that get you no where.
But nothing seemed to get her anywhere, all she could feel was nausea in the pit of her stomach. She definitely did not want to be forced into marrying some pure blood death eater Slytherin graduate, but it did not appear she had a choice. She would do as she was told, as she always did and it didn't matter anyway...it wasn't as if she had a life to lose by going through with it.
Now that's just lying to yourself Rose Josephine Eden. You have a life, you have friends, what about Nathan? Jack?
The ill feeling in her stomach intensified, and she let her head fall back onto her knees, allowing a small pained groan to escape her lips. This is now how it's supposed to be. This is not right.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 2, 2007 22:17:44 GMT
Fuck it, I think to myself, shaking my head as I walk out of the forest. If she still wants to hate me then there's nothing I can do. Why do I keep trying?
I shake my head again disgustedly, knowing what the answer was.
Because she's your sister, you twat. And you want to have a family of some kind. Friends aren't enough.
I kick at the ground and sigh, then notice a girl nearby who seems at least as upset as I am. I start to head toward her, hesitate, and shrug. Why not? It's what Arden would do.
I nos as I get close though I'm not sure she can see me. "You okay?" I ask in a carefully indifferent voice.
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 2, 2007 22:20:26 GMT
"Holy sh-..." Rose catches herself from completing the sentence, a faint tint rising in her cheeks as she jumped in surprise.
"Uh..." She coughed slightly to clear her throat, smoothing out a crease in her cloak, "Yes, yes, fine. Thank you."
You're insufferably polite sometimes, Rosie. Insufferably pureblood.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 2, 2007 22:26:12 GMT
I nod, smiling very faintly at her jumpiness and wondering if I'm just being stupid. "Sorry about scaring you. You sure?" I ask, eying her closely.
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 2, 2007 22:31:01 GMT
She laughed lightly, trying hard to pass off the faint note of hysteria in her voice as being cold and pulling her cloak tighter about her shoulders, "Hmm...yes, I should think so. Thank you for your concern."
She paused a moment, then held out a hand, "Rose Eden. Rosie if you'd prefer."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 2, 2007 22:40:41 GMT
I nod, not quite believing it but figuring my own emotional state doesn't make me a very good judge.
"Rosie sounds like a three-year-old... no offense," I add quickly, shaking her hand and then sitting down about two feet away. "Fitzy Patricks." Then I pause. Arden would not let it drop.
And Arden is sometimes a twat.[/b]
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 2, 2007 22:45:33 GMT
She laughed, almost flinching this time at how unnatural it sounded. But he didn't know how she laughed naturally, so it was okay.
"I know it does. That's why everyone calls me Rose. Just a few people call me Rosie," She smiled slightly, "Fitzy? That's a...well, it's slightly unusual. Is it short for something?"
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 2, 2007 22:56:04 GMT
"Yeah, Fitzwilliam," I nod, rolling my eyes slightly. "Or Fitzgerald... depending on which relative you ask. One of those lovely pureblood things... have to have a silly name." I shrug. "Are you sure you're okay? I can drop it if you want, but... why are you here by yourself?"
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 2, 2007 23:00:04 GMT
"Oh yes, delightful pure bloods," She rolled her eyes, snorting slightly, then put a hand delicately over her mouth at the very unladylike gesture, "Sorry."
"Your name's not that bad...if it's any consolation, my father's name is Tarquin," She offered with a slight smile.
She shrugged a little, absently toying with the hem of her cloak, "I was just thinking. Pure blood things...you know?"
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 2, 2007 23:09:52 GMT
I smile slightly. "And my father's name's Thelonius. Guess I got off easy." I nod slowly. "I suppose... and what were you apologizing for?"
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 3, 2007 15:16:40 GMT
"Guess you did, and don't worry, your name doesn't sound like that off a three year old's," She laughed lightly.
She contemplated for a moment, then half raised her shoulders in a small shrug, "I'm not actually all that sure."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 3, 2007 15:23:00 GMT
I nod, smiling slightly. "Then maybe you shouldn't be apologizing," I shrug, twisting up some bits of grass to fidget with. I pause a moment. "You want to talk about the... pureblood things, whatever they are?"
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 3, 2007 15:30:48 GMT
"Probably not," She agreed, still absently toying with the hem of her cloak, "There's not really much to talk about. Just...doesn't it strike you as terribly futile sometimes? Make a respectable marriage, socialise with the right people, act as one should...and then what? Grow old and die having done the same thing over and over?"
Then she laughed, shaking her head, "Sorry, I'm being stupid. I really should stop thinking about this sort of thing."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 3, 2007 15:38:41 GMT
I shake my head quickly, frowning a little as I twist the grass in on itself. "No, you shouldn't stop thinking about it. Not if it's your life, especially. And it does sound kind of futile." I rub my left arm absently and give a humorless laugh. "Purebloods should all be done away with."
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 3, 2007 15:43:06 GMT
"It is my life," She inclined her head slightly, "But it's not one I can really do much to change, it's just how life is sometimes."
She quickly drops her gaze to the grass on the other side of her as he rubs his left forearm, pretending not to have seen, "Yes, that I'd drink to. Purebloods should definitely be done away with."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 3, 2007 15:50:22 GMT
"Inbred bunch of arrogant murderers," I nod with another humorless laugh, suddenly noticing what I'm doing and quickly pulling my hand away as if it's been burned. Then I shake my head. "And there's never any reason to stop trying to change your life if it's a bad one," I say quietly, passionate about something for a change. "If you don't want to live like that then don't. What's the worst that could happen?"
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 3, 2007 16:01:41 GMT
She nods, slightly uneasily by the lack of humour in the laugh, "Agreed."
"It's...well, your idea works in theory, but in practice...well, it's not that easy. I mean, there's responsibility, tradition...I'd hate to disappoint my parents. I don't think I could."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 3, 2007 16:11:15 GMT
"Oh..." I nod, momentarily stymied. "Yeah, I suppose that would be a barrier to some people."
Just because you're thrilled to be disowned doesn't mean that every decent pureblood would be.
"But is it really more important to not disappointment and be miserable than to do what's right for you? If they'd rather you do the first, then are they really worth it as a family?"
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 3, 2007 16:15:43 GMT
She smiled wryly, watching her cloak slip between her fingers a few times before replying, "Probably not worth it no. But they're the only family I've got. And my older brother, he didn't turn out as they'd hoped, I wouldn't want to put them through it again."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 3, 2007 16:28:08 GMT
"Hm..." I shrug, tying the grass into a knot. "Sounds like you're confused... but maybe they deserve to be put through it."
I pause, realizing how that sounds, and quickly shake my head. "I'm sorry. I'm just assuming that they're horrible when I have no idea. I don't mean to insult your family."
In my head, I see Arden shaking her head at me with that cold, closed, watchful look. "Family and relatives are two different things. The second's not your fault and doesn't have a hold on you."
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 3, 2007 16:31:23 GMT
"Yes," She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, "Confused sums it up quite well."
She smiled lightly at his haste to correct himself, "Don't worry about it. Most people would think they're not...I don't know...decent. But they're just set in their ways is all," She tucks the same strand back behind her ear, slightly irritably this time that it wouldn't stay.
Set in their ways, Rosie? Set in their ways? Must you always make excuses?
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 3, 2007 16:43:21 GMT
"Hm..." I raise my eyebrows skeptically but try not to say what I'm thinking.
Set in their arrogant murdering ways? Or just a bit stuck-up?
I shrug, start to say something, and then realize it will probably come out dripping with scathing sarcasm and quickly swallow it while ripping the knotted bit of grass into bits.
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 3, 2007 16:46:27 GMT
"You can say what you like you know," Rose arches an eyebrow at him, "I'm not judgemental, nor am I stupid."
She looks back at the grass, combing the strands idly with her fingers, she knew what people said, what the common consensus was about purebloods. And she knew where her family stood, and didn't really mind what people said about them. Words weren't particularly damaging, actions were a different story however.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 3, 2007 16:54:24 GMT
I shrug and shake my head. "I'd really just be judging them by what I know of my own family and a few of our old neighbors," I say. "I'm not going to jump to conclusions and insult them." I toss aside the grass confetti, brush bits of it off my leg, and then pull up a few more strands to repeat the process.
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 3, 2007 17:00:06 GMT
"Then you're an extremely rare find in the pure blood market," She smiled wryly, "I doubt most people would do the same."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 3, 2007 17:18:04 GMT
I shrug, smiling very slightly. "Trying to be different so my little sister likes me and will speak to me again. I have to suppress the urge to be judgmental and to curse whoever annoys me."
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 3, 2007 17:24:22 GMT
"Oh," She nodded, not sure whether to be amused or not, "Well, good luck with that."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 3, 2007 17:29:29 GMT
"Thank you," I say, tilting my head toward her in acknowledgment. "And good luck making up your mind about your own... family expectations versus decency issue."
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Post by Rose Eden on Nov 3, 2007 17:37:35 GMT
She laughed, although it sounded forced even to her, "Thank you."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Nov 3, 2007 17:44:12 GMT
I nod, noting the forced laugh but not knowing what to say, so I just keep tying bundles of grass into knots and laying them out in front of me like some weird protective barrier.
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