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Post by Remus Lupin on May 12, 2007 20:36:36 GMT
I sat on the ledge in the astronomy tower.
I was desperate now.
I'd only been trying to do what I was told.
And now I'd messed everything up.
I was still aching from being crucio-ed.
But the cold pit of dread in my stomach was the worse thing about this.
What had I done?
I hadn't meant to-...
"Come on, help me out." I say quietly to the sky. "I'm desperate here."
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Post by sorachicora on May 12, 2007 20:40:12 GMT
I walked up with Anabell in my arms and saw Remus "hey haven't seen you in a while" I said walking up to him.
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 12, 2007 20:41:22 GMT
"No. Reason for that." I say bitterly, not looking at her, just staring out of the window. "Been away. Going away again. For longer."
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Post by sorachicora on May 12, 2007 20:43:35 GMT
I winced at his tone and Anabell started to cry "It's ok Anabell. Remus for how long?" I asked
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 12, 2007 20:45:39 GMT
"I don't know." I say, still the same bitter tone. "I don't know and I don't know if I'm coming back and I don't know that if I do come back there will be anything for me anymore."
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Post by sorachicora on May 12, 2007 20:48:40 GMT
I leaned against the wall and said "Well we can only wait to find out"
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 12, 2007 20:50:43 GMT
"Ha." I say, swivelling around so I was facing completely out of the window, both feet over the edge, staring glumly out at the sky.
I'll be lucky if Rin and the baby don't go the same way as Anna. I thought bitterly, a tear running down my face but I wipe it away hurriedly, not wanting anyone to see me cry.
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Post by sorachicora on May 12, 2007 20:52:02 GMT
"Remus what the hell are you doing?" I cried and sat Anabell down away from the window and walked over to him.
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 12, 2007 20:58:04 GMT
"Nothing." I mumble, stopping another tear before it slides down my cheek.
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Post by sorachicora on May 12, 2007 20:58:59 GMT
"Remus" I said then made him face me. "It's ok to cry" Then wiped away another tear.
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 12, 2007 21:01:28 GMT
"No, it isn't!" I say loudly, turning away from her again. "I don't. I stay strong. I have to. You don't understand. I have to stay strong. No matter what happens. Or what I've done."
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Post by sorachicora on May 12, 2007 21:02:47 GMT
I sighed and said "Yes it is ok to cry it shows that you still care about things, people"
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 12, 2007 21:04:50 GMT
"Well I don't! I don't care about things or people! If I do they just end up getting hurt, or killed, or ripped apart. Or-...or worse."
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Post by sorachicora on May 12, 2007 21:05:56 GMT
I looked at his back then asked "Do you care about me?"
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 12, 2007 21:07:07 GMT
"For your own sake, you should hope not." I say blankly.
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Post by sorachicora on May 12, 2007 21:07:58 GMT
"Remus I don't care what happens to me" I said
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 12, 2007 21:13:14 GMT
"Well, I do! I care what happens to you, and the Marauders, and my other friends, and I care about Rin and the baby and now Voldemort's after my family and it's all my fault!" I roar.
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Post by sorachicora on May 12, 2007 21:16:13 GMT
I looked at him then said "Like I said I don't care what happen to me, but I do care what happens to everybody, you, Takota, Molly, Izzy, even Peter" I walked over to Anabell "even Anabell, and that's the only reason I get up everyday to make sure everybody is safe. Yea it sucks because you can't save everybody you love and care for" I trailed off as tears of my own started to fall. "because you never know, but you do care Remus you just don't show it to protect others" I stood up and walked over to him and pulled up my sleve to show him a black cross surronded by black roses "Now I have people to take care of, to protect. Some of them don't even care about me" my tears now falling freely now
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 13, 2007 10:47:19 GMT
I don't say anything, just stay looking out of the window.
"I can't bear it. Not if it were to happen again. I've been given a second chance with a family." I say quietly. "After what happened last time. And I've already got them as good as killed."
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Post by sorachicora on May 13, 2007 13:48:22 GMT
I looked over to him then muttered "just like my brother"
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 13, 2007 14:03:22 GMT
"Yeah, you know what, I guess me and your brother have a lot in common."
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Post by sorachicora on May 13, 2007 14:06:18 GMT
"sorta he was engaged like you and was going to be a father, but he never said he didn't care or lose it in front of a child" I said looking at him to see what he would say.
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 13, 2007 14:29:05 GMT
"It's not hard for a person to be better than me, Sora. He was probably one of the many people who are." I say still looking out of the window.
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Post by sorachicora on May 13, 2007 14:30:53 GMT
I shruged "I don't know you are the only person I've met becide my brother that has this problem every full moon." I winced as my arm started to burn.
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 13, 2007 14:37:26 GMT
"Well, I know a few. And they all deal with it a lot better than I do. They're either on one side or the other. They know exactly who they are and I don't. And they don't have families, let alone get them as good as killed." I say, now looking down at the grass below.
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Post by sorachicora on May 13, 2007 14:38:34 GMT
I looked at him then saw Anabell crawling over to him.
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 13, 2007 14:56:48 GMT
"Lo Annabell." I say miserably, watching her crawl over to me.
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Post by sorachicora on May 13, 2007 17:27:47 GMT
I watched Anabell tug on Remus pants wanting him to pick her up.
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Post by Remus Lupin on May 13, 2007 17:28:42 GMT
I sigh and pick her up, putting her gently on my lap. "Hello." I say softly.
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Post by sorachicora on May 13, 2007 17:30:07 GMT
I smiled and walked over to them and asked "Anabell do you care about Remus?" She giggled and hugged Remus.
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