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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 0:03:04 GMT
i laid in the middle of the hall just naming off people who were ditzy bimbos.
"oh yeah she's a ditzy bimbo..." i mutter and blow some of my red hair out of my face. i laid down so that i would be right in the sun. it was cold and i needed warmth. just then a shadow goes over me and i sigh. "hey! ditzy bimbo! your blocking my sunlight." i say and look up and see......................
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 0:27:26 GMT
"I'm not a bimbo! Ditzy is a definate but I don't think bimbo is the word."
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 0:30:48 GMT
"it is in my world." i chuckle "yumi baker"
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 0:35:43 GMT
I laughed,"Andromeda Gates, call me Andy."
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 0:37:34 GMT
"righty-o" i say. "really i'm not in the mood to talk. i'm going over people that have hurt me and/or treated me like-" i say but stop myself. "i just call them bimbos and leave it at that. helps me temper."
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 1:25:37 GMT
"oh, I see. And who are some of these ditsy bimbos? If I may ask."
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 1:27:05 GMT
"sirius black, my sister lin, sirius black, myself, sirius black, my father, sirius black." i muter darkly looking out into space
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 1:35:19 GMT
"Um, I'm sorry to hear that."*Sirius fucked this one up...*"I'm pretty sure that Sirius is sorry though."
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 1:40:11 GMT
"no he's not." i cuckle, "bloody manwhore treated me like a piece of meat. i told him that i had a thing for him went in my room and he kisses me pushing me up against a wall. then he leaves before i even wake up. if he wanted a one night stand then i could have handled that but no he had to rip my heart out and leave me there. left me there with three kids. and he knew. i know he's not stupid enough to know that this wouldn't have hurt me. so he knew and still didn't come back. then he is so horrible he doesn't even show his face still leaving me with three kids. oh did i mention because of his crappy condom he left me with another kid so that just puts the cherry on top of this great crappy life at the moment so whoever you are don't even say that he's sorry because i know he's not." i say sitting up, "i cried over him. i haven't cried in years." i mutter. "i'm sorry i blew up at you..it's just been in there and...i don't know..." i mutter hugging my knees to my chest
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 1:44:41 GMT
"It's ok."*That went better than I expected...Sirius be glad I cover your ass up!*"Yumi...What do you mean by another kid?" I asked,"I'm positive he's sorry. I know he didn't want to leave...he..."*I didn't know how to explain this*
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 1:48:08 GMT
"i don't want to see him. i don't want to hear his name and i don't want to talk about him." i say "and i'm not going to see him again. i'm postive of that. i'm not letting that happen. getting on a muggle plane and goin home to ireland. and seriously do i have to explain to you about the other kid? he knocked me up. but am i gonna tell him that?" i chuckle bitterly, "nope. don't want him to know about a kid that he won't give a care about."
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 1:51:23 GMT
*Sirius....I warned you about this shit!*"I know you don't want to talk about him...but you really need to see him. I'm sure that he would love this kid to death. Knowing Sirius like I do I would say he'd be shocked at first...but he'd accept it. He really does have a good reason why he left. You need to talk to him."
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 1:53:42 GMT
"no i'm not talking to him. i'm leaving tomorrow becasue the dumb muggles won't let me leave today. i'm already packed, i dyed my hair some maybe i'll trow him off. and why would he care about the kid? he didn't care about me." i say, "it's not the fact that it was a one night stand it's that he left without anything and still hasn't showed his face. he left me with three kids. i can't handel three kids on my own."
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 2:00:49 GMT
"I know for a fact that he wants to talk to you. He just can't find you. I don't think you should leave either! It would just cause problems. He wants to talk to you though. He just doesn't know how to tell you something."
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 11:34:07 GMT
"i've been laying here in this exact spot for about an hour. if h tells you that he can't find me then he's not looking." i say, "and he doesn't have to try and explain to me. if he wanted to leave then that was his own thing. i couldn't stop him."
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 20:43:19 GMT
"Maybe he's just been looking in the wrong places. It's not like he wanted to leave...he kinda had to."
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 21:42:41 GMT
"then why didn't he tell me he had to leave. he didn't have to tell me why, i would have accepted it and let him leave. i wasn't gonna make him stay or anything." i sigh then lay my head on my knees. "why did he do this to me?" i ask softly, "i actually cared about him....how could he do this to me andy? it's not like i forced him into it..."
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 22:18:51 GMT
"He cares Yumi....he's just, he has alot on his plate. If you know what I mean. He has duties that he has to do if he likes them or not. I think he really cares for you, even if he won't admit it, or exactly show it. Sirius is like that."
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 22:21:20 GMT
"i've figured that out.." i chuckle bitterly, "but i don't think that he cares for me. going through this three times i know something about guys like him." i sigh, "god andy three times. how can i be stupid enough to get myself in this three times?"
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 22:44:26 GMT
"you're not stupid. You have feelings, and it seems like you follow your feelings. Sirius...he's diffrent from most guys out there. He cares, he just has a hard time showing it."
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 22:50:22 GMT
"must be really hard." i mutter. "normally i don't let a guy get to me like this...but third time is a charm." i say with a sad sigh. "andy i can only take getting this done to me so many times. i need to get my life back together. i'm gonna raise this kid, and mia and brett right. i'm gonna stay away from guys. and i'm gonna get my life back."
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 22:59:32 GMT
I nod,"That's a good plan, but don't you plan on telling Sirius that he's going to be a father? He has a right to know...doesn't he?"
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 23:02:56 GMT
"i-i don't know." i stutter looking away from her. "one i'm scared to tell him. two i know for a fact that he doesn't want a kid. three i've been through telling a guy that they're gonna be a father and it...well it didn't end well....." i sigh looking out into space going through the memory.
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 23:11:13 GMT
"I really think you should tell him. If he didn't want a kid then he really should have kept it in his pants. I've been telling him that for sometime now. If you want...I can go with you when you tell him."
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 23:19:18 GMT
"i can't..." i say softly. "i can't tell him andy..." i say a bit louder and run a hand through my hair. "andy i don't want to tell him and find out that he doesn't want it. imagine if you had a kid, then they grow up asking you where daddy is. what would you tell them? that he didn't want you? i'm not doing that to my kid." i say, "and andy it's mostly fear. i mean i was pregnant once before but the father didn't want the kid. i mean he really didn't want it. he told me to use the muggle way and abort it. i wouldn't. he tried to kill me but just ended up killing the kid and then i ended up here."
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 23:29:59 GMT
"I'm sorry about that."I say at a loss for words,"But what happens if he wants it? I mean I care for Sirius more than most people on this earth...I don't want to see him hurt like that. I know he might not take the new so well at first, but he'll come around. He would never resort to telling you to kill the baby or do it himself. He's more of a man than that. He knows that if he made his bed then he'll have to sleep in it too. I think not telling him would be a bad move on both yours and Sirius' part."
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 23:34:55 GMT
"i know sirius would never try and hurt me like that. that guy was a coward and blamed me for it." i say, "and andy, honestly why would he want the kid? it was a one night stand...kinda...i'm not gonna go through that again." i sigh, "nothing good comes from me living with a guy. i had lived with the other guy and thre other ones then that happened. moved in with sirius then this happened. i'm just messed up.." i say and close my eyes knowing that if i went back to ireland that i'd probably go back to living with them.
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 23:38:04 GMT
"You never know..."I say recalling the conversation I had had with him a few days earlier,"I think he might like little Sirius' jumping around. Maybe you just haven't found the right guy then. Sirius...is a bit psycho at times...but he has good intentions. I'm sure he would want to know."
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Post by Yumi Baker on Jul 30, 2007 23:42:19 GMT
"the world can't handle another sirius black." i say with a weak smile, "and i know that i haven't found teh right guy. and honestly at teh moment i don't want one. i'm always making it better without them so..." i shrug "but how are you sure that he want's to know?"
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Post by Andromeda Black on Jul 30, 2007 23:56:31 GMT
"hmmm, yeah...good guys are hard to come by now-a-days."I sigh,"One day when this baby is older it will ask you about it's father and you can either tell it the truth, if you don't it'll find out on it's own. Then most likely it will go looking for him. Could you just picture Sirius opening the door to find a child looking at him asking him if he's its daddy? Sirius will most likely be left so broken after that...he'll blame himself for more things than he does now. Sorry I'm referring to your baby as an it...I just don't know the gender."
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