Angry

[Michael Watkins]

I was angry.
One of the stages of grief I'd been told.
But it didn't feel normal.
That I should resent everyone and everything this much.
That I hated my friends.
I hated Remus and Peter and Cas for stopping me from going to get revenge.
I hated everyone who could have stopped Jo from leaving.
I hated Jo for trading her life for mine.
I hated me for letting her go.
I hated the stupid sky for being so clear and calm when Jo was gone.
I hated the fact that people had already started to move on, that there was a new Gryffindor quidditch captain, and that people were smiling and laughing, when Jo was gone.
I hated the lake for being still and silent, when it should be just as angry as me, frothing and churning, mad that she was gone and couldn't come back.
I pick up a rock, stupid rock, and threw it hard into the lake, yelling something incoherent as I did so.
I pick up another and throw it harder, again yelling.
I pick up a third, bigger, heavier rock and throw it the hardest I possibly could, so I stumbled forward with the force of it.

[hiddenindarkness]

I watched from behind a tree as Mika let out his anger. I knew how he felt. Everyone had moved on and it was like Jo was nothing, but a mear memory. A memory that was unimportant to remember. I leaned against the tree. I had joined the Order in her memory. I was fighting for the girl, who had showed me kindness beyond full extent even through her down times. She was my friend and she will always have a place in my heart.

[Michael Watkins]

Bitter angry tears prickle at my eyes, but I don't cry.
I never cry.
I can't cry.
I pick up an even heavier rock and run closer to the water, throwing it as far as I can and letting out an angry roar as I did so.
Hating everything, hating her, hating me.

[hiddenindarkness]

'Mika,' I thought, 'Don't let your anger cloud your mind from those who want to help you.' I put my back to the tree and sat down. Tears threatened to fall. I was afraid Mika would do something that would wind up him getting hurt. I began to sing.

You're not alone
Together we stand I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No, I won't give in

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

So far away I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the door's closed
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend, yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe.
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be
Will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da da da, la da da da La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know
I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
We'll make it through

[Michael Watkins]

I sit heavily down on the bank, not looking back, but acknowledging her presence by stopping with the stone throwing for a minute.
I pick up another stone, and toss it around in my hands a bit, getting the feel of it, then launching it as far as I can into the lake.
This time it doesn't make me feel better at all.
Just stupid that I think I can make myself feel better by throwing rocks.

[hiddenindarkness]

I get up to leave. 'He needs some time alone,' I thought, 'And so do I.' I peek from behind the tree one more time at him and go to walk back up to the castle.

[Michael Watkins]

"Fuck." I mutter, putting my head in my hands.
"FUCK!" I say loudly, my own voice echoing back to me across the surface of the lake.

[hiddenindarkness]

I heard Michael yell, but I refused to turn around and run to comfert him. I continued to walk lost in thought, 'When he is ready to accept his friends to help him, I will be one of them by his side.'