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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 18, 2007 19:04:21 GMT
"The way you're sitting. The way you're not really looking at anything. The way you said 'Nothing' when I first asked you, and when I told you I could tell that you were lying, you said 'I know, I never expected you to believe the lie anyway. I'm just playing for time I guess.'" I repeated.
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 18, 2007 19:08:10 GMT
"Stop being logical." I mutter, holding my knees closer to my chest, annoyed at myself for giving so much away.
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 18, 2007 19:13:02 GMT
"Fine." I said, glancing at Remus in concern.
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 18, 2007 19:36:05 GMT
"And don't look at me like that either." I say. "Nothing to be concerned about. I'm just fine."
The screaming is getting so loud now.
"Shut up!" I yell.
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 18, 2007 20:06:51 GMT
I scooched (sp?) away from Remus a little. "Sorry." I whispered.
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 18, 2007 20:13:20 GMT
"I wasn't talking to you, I was-..." I pause. "Okay, I'm obviously not fine. I was talking to my own mind..." I frown. "Bugger, I'm going mad." I groan, dropping my head to my knees.
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 18, 2007 20:15:06 GMT
I smiled slightly. "You're not going mad. You're just keeping things in."
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 19, 2007 16:21:16 GMT
"What's the difference? Peter, I just yelled at myself to shut up when I wasn't saying anything. You can't tell me that's sane." I groan.
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 19, 2007 19:19:46 GMT
"No. But it's not helping you to keep it in." I said strongly. (lol, does that make sense?) "Remus, I know what it's like to have an event constantly going through your head. Trust me, it helps to get it out." I siad softly.
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 18:16:11 GMT
"No, it doesn't." I laugh sardonically. "Oh no. Murderers are not a respectable part of society. You tell people, people run."
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 20, 2007 18:58:06 GMT
I hesitated, then said, "You killed someone?"
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 18:58:57 GMT
I swallow hard, not meeting his eyes. "Don't make me answer that, please."
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 20, 2007 18:59:32 GMT
"Full moon?" I asked, guessing.
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 19:00:42 GMT
"Do you think I'd hurt someone at any other time?"
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 20, 2007 19:03:44 GMT
"Of course not!"
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 19:07:42 GMT
"Well work it out for yourself then." I say bitterly.
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 20, 2007 19:33:16 GMT
"Look if you want to be alone, just say so!" I said angrily.
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 19:36:07 GMT
"I don't know what I want!" I shout. "I don't care what I want! It's not important. You can be here or not it won't make any difference to what I've done or haven't done or anything! So if you'd rather not be here then piss off!"
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 20, 2007 19:47:54 GMT
I got up angrily and stormed off, kicking trees on my way. After the fourth tree I stopped, sighed, and turned around. "Remus, I'm sorry I was pissy at you, you're obviously going through something, and if you want to talk about, know I'm here, ok?" I asked calmly.
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 19:53:08 GMT
"I know." I say quietly. "I'm sorry, I just-...I don't know what to do. I loved her, Peter, I loved her."
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 20, 2007 19:58:27 GMT
"What was her name?" I asked quietly, sitting back down.
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 19:59:59 GMT
"Anna." I say miserably.
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 20, 2007 20:04:34 GMT
"Anna. She um... she didn't know?" I guessed.
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 20:06:57 GMT
"I couldn't tell her." I say quietly. "I couldn't get over my stupid fear of telling her, and tell her and because of that, and because of what I am, she's dead."
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 20, 2007 20:12:19 GMT
"Remus. I'm so sorry." I said quietly.
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 20:13:28 GMT
"Don't be. It's my fault. Not yours." I say bluntly.
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 20, 2007 20:26:57 GMT
"I know. I say the same thing when people say sorry to me. But Rem, it's not like you meant to. You didn't wake up and say, 'oh, today's the day i'm going to kill Anna."
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 20:28:56 GMT
"I might as well have." I say bitterly. "I can still hear it in my head, Peter. I can still hear her. She was saying my name, begging me to go, reminding me who she was, begging me to leave her alone. I-...I can hear her screaming. I-...I hate it. I hate what I am. It was the worst thing 'the curse' has ever made me do."
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Post by Peter Pettigrew on Apr 20, 2007 20:38:39 GMT
"That sucks." I said, not wanting to say 'sorry' again.
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Post by Remus Lupin on Apr 21, 2007 10:23:25 GMT
I bark a sadistic laugh. "Yeah, sure does."
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