|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 5, 2007 2:19:11 GMT
I don't know how long it had been since we had gotten to St. Mungo's. The pains, which had turned out to be contractions, was a big sign that I was going into labor. Usually, that be a good thing, but not when I still had two months to go.
The clock on the wall above on the door was really starting to get on my nerves, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock. I don't know how much longer I could stand that sound. I guess the real reason I was staring at the clock was that I didn't really want to focus on the situation at hand.
"Seeing as you've already started going into labor and your two months early we need to get you into surgery."
"What? Surgery, really? Isn't that..I don't know, a bit drastic?"
"We need to get those two out now and make sure nothings wrong."
"Wait a second, are you saying something could happen to them?"
"We don't want to take any risks.
"When do I go into surgery?"
"Immediately, I'll be back in a moment and we can get started."
I bite down on my bottom lip, twisted the bed sheet anxiously in my hands.
What if something happens to them? To me?
"What if something goes wrong?" I ask quietly after a moment.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 5, 2007 22:08:15 GMT
"Then I don't know," I mumble, trying to look up from the floor but lacking the will to actually do it, "I don't know."
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 6, 2007 2:49:18 GMT
Why even bother asking him, it's not like he really cares.
Don't listen, you know he's freaking out just as much as you are here.
Well the guy has some way of showing it.
I bite down on my bottom lip again, not wanting to go through with this, and wanting to leave now.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 6, 2007 17:14:13 GMT
Why are you even here? You shouldn't be here.
Hello? Baby...plural?
Do the words 'It's over' mean nothing to you?
I keep silent, not sure what I was supposed to say or do.
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 6, 2007 23:18:27 GMT
"I'm sorry," I mutter again, not sure why I wasn't even saying it again,"You don't have to be here if you don't want to."
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 7, 2007 22:44:53 GMT
I shrug, not taking my eyes off the floor remaining silent despite the fact there's a million things I want to say.
I still love you, I'm supposed to be here...I have to be here, I miss you, I need you, I'm so sorry...
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 7, 2007 22:52:01 GMT
"Please say something," I mutter, my voice cracking with the effort to keep it steady.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 7, 2007 23:05:50 GMT
"I've got nothing to say," I lie quietly, eyes still fixed on the floor.
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 8, 2007 18:23:32 GMT
"Then I don't want you here," I mumble quietly, knowing that was the last thing I wanted,"I know you hate me, but it's not fair to keep fucking with me like this," I blink rapidly, fighting back the tears,"You know I still love you, and it's not fair that..."I stop, not even bothering to go on.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 8, 2007 19:15:39 GMT
"I don't hate you," I argue quietly.
I can't hate you when I still love you this much.
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 8, 2007 19:18:10 GMT
"You don't hate me, you don't love me then what?" I ask quietly,"Why are you still here? Sense of duty? That it?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 8, 2007 19:20:53 GMT
"No," I say "Yes...I don't...no," My sudden inability to articulate is making me desperate to find the words, an explanation, but there's nothing all of a sudden besides the inescapable truth that I'm still irrevocably in love with her but there's no way I'll allow myself to say that.
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 8, 2007 19:25:36 GMT
I shut my eyes tightly, trying my hardest not to break down. Not now. Not here."I know you don't care," I say quietly after a moment of regaining my composure,"But I love you okay? Never stopped, never will. I know what I did...was wrong and I never meant to do that..but it happened..I'm sorry."
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 8, 2007 19:31:27 GMT
"Stop saying that, stop saying you're sorry, stop saying you love me, please just stop," I say softly, putting my head in my hands not even sure why it bothers me. Why everything is bothering me right now.
Because you love her and you don't want to let yourself anymore.
Shut up!
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 8, 2007 19:36:05 GMT
I watch him, hesitate a moment before reaching over and lifting his head up slightly,"Look at me," I whisper quietly,"Look at me and tell me you don't. Actually look at me, no lies. You say it, and I'll stop."
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 8, 2007 20:00:39 GMT
I shake my head, immediately dropping my gaze as she lifts my head slightly. I feel very young all of a sudden, very small, how I used to feel all the time at home. Like I've just been caught out and should be ashamed of myself.
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 8, 2007 23:32:38 GMT
I pull my hand back, letting it drop into my lap. He's made his choice, there's nothing you can do. "Can you at least do one thing for me?" I ask quietly, tracing my finger over the faded scar on my hand,"Can you lie to me and tell me I'm going to be okay?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 9, 2007 12:25:04 GMT
"I don't want to lie anymore," I say after a moment, "So if I say it, it'll have to be true."
I pause, then add quietly after a moment's considering it, "You'll be okay."
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 9, 2007 18:19:07 GMT
I nod weakly, placing my hand over my stomach. Your going to be okay.
I bite down gently on my bottom lip, not sure what else I could say. Just kiss him, you know you want to. One last time, do it.
I shake my head, trying to drown out the voice.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 9, 2007 18:25:32 GMT
I stay very still for a moment, watching the door to the room as if something's going to come in and make everything okay again.
That's stupid.
Well it's all I got.
Doesn't have to be.
I bite my lip softly for a moment, then turn and kiss her briefly. Then realising what I've done I draw away slightly almost immediately, muttering a brief, "Sorry."
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 9, 2007 18:31:26 GMT
"Don't be," I mumble, leaning forward and kissing him softly. I draw awawy after a moment, muttering my own "Sorry,"
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 9, 2007 18:34:29 GMT
"Hm," I mumble after a moment, shaking my head, and kissing her again.
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 9, 2007 18:38:30 GMT
I return the kiss, then pause pulling back enough to speak,"I'm sorry." I mumble against his lips.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 9, 2007 18:41:49 GMT
"Me too," I mumble back against her lips.
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 9, 2007 18:44:19 GMT
"I love you Ian," I mumble, kissing him again.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 9, 2007 18:54:26 GMT
"I love you too," I murmur, kissing her lightly back, "Wish I didn't sometimes, but I do."
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 9, 2007 18:55:50 GMT
I smile weakly, resting my forehead against his,"Yeah. I know I'm not the easiest person to put up with."
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 9, 2007 19:08:33 GMT
I smile weakly back, lightly brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.
|
|
|
|
Post by Madeline Speare on Dec 9, 2007 21:39:49 GMT
I lightly take hold of his hand as he brushes my hair back,"What do you think they're going to look like?" I ask quietly.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ian Hunt on Dec 9, 2007 21:46:02 GMT
"I don't know, don't suppose we'll have to wait long to find out," I say, trying to keep the anxious edge out of my voice.
|
|
