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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 17:17:52 GMT
"Could be much worse."
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 17:18:48 GMT
"Uh huh," Angel nodded.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 17:25:19 GMT
"Yeah."
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 17:27:01 GMT
"Nope," Angel said.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 17:30:39 GMT
"Nope?"
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 17:37:31 GMT
"Felt like being different," Angel smiled.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 17:40:04 GMT
I laugh slightly.
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 17:42:09 GMT
"Have you been swimming lately?" Angel asked randomly.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 17:49:25 GMT
"Not lately no."
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 17:54:15 GMT
"How are things with Maddie and your brother and sister? I forgot to ask," Angel said.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 17:57:10 GMT
My eyes find the floor immediately, "Well-...I'm not talking to Matt, neither is Claire. Because he is in fact a motherfucking asshole. And-...there is no 'things with Maddie' anymore." I smile weakly, painfully, "I'm a free man again."
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 17:59:33 GMT
"What happened with your brother?" Angel asked, dodging the Maddie subject. She would approach that later.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 18:01:57 GMT
"He-...did something he shouldn't. Said things he shouldn't. To Claire, not me. I didn't realise I'd care so much, but it really pisses me off to see my sister cry like that." I mutter.
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 18:06:14 GMT
"And now we approach the second problem... Maddie," Angel said quiely. "Does this have to do with the whole 'not getting people hurt' thing?
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 18:08:25 GMT
"It has to do with the whole insufferable looking at the world as if everything is fucking okay all of the fucking time when everything is not fucking okay and she fucking knows it and she's not okay and I fucking know it and she just keeps saying everything is fine and it's not fucking fine!" I mutter frustratedly, "In other words, we-...fought."
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 18:13:31 GMT
"That would have been easier to say," Angel sighed. "I think you should get back together, you belong with each other and I think you looked good together. You were a perfect couple!"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 18:15:36 GMT
"I don't think she wants me back." I say wryly, "Yelling 'fuck you too', and 'good fucking riddance' over my shoulder was probably not a smart move."
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 18:17:30 GMT
"She was upset, us girls say stupid stuff when we're upset," Angel said. "In my opinion no other girl will suit you better. She loves you and I know you still love her!"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 18:20:00 GMT
"I'm not saying I don't. I do still love her." I say, dropping my voice with guilt at saying that right next to Erin's grave.
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 18:21:42 GMT
"It's okay to say it you know, she wouldn't want you to be miserable and mope around," Angel said, smiling slightly.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 18:24:11 GMT
"You know, when we were 15, me and Erin. We talked about...dying. Weird fucked up kids we were. We used to talk about it quite a lot. Always said we'd go out together, say our final fuck you to life together. Wouldn't have it any other way. I know it's stupid, but that's one of the things I feel worst about. Breaking a stupid promise that I made when I was 15 and never expected to keep, and that's what I feel most guilty about." I smile weakly.
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 18:32:18 GMT
"You couldn't help it," Angel smiled sadly. "No one could!"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 18:35:21 GMT
"I should have been able to. I promised I'd help her. We used to say she was a complex wreck. But I was going to fix her. She said I couldn't, that I'd already done enough, but I was going to fix her. I promised I would. So nothing like this would happen."
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 18:36:42 GMT
"You can't help breaking some promises! It wasn't your fault and don't ever think it is," Angel told him quietly. "None of it could be helped!"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 18:39:58 GMT
"Then why does it feel like it is my fault." I say softly.
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 18:44:39 GMT
"Because you need someone to blame," Angel replied. "And you are the first person that comes to mind!"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 18:47:18 GMT
"You know...he's right. I could have stopped him, but I was too weak to even try...I just-...I let him walk away, knowing he was going to do something bad, knowing something bad was going to happen, knowing I could stop it, and I still let him walk away. I let her die. He's right, it's my fault. I can try and blame him all I want, but it's my fault."
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 18:49:56 GMT
"It is NOT your fault and it NEVER will be!" Angel yelled. "Stop listening to other people who say it's your fault because they're wrong! You couldn't do anything to stop it, no matter how much you tried. You couldn't do anything to change it! This is all some sick game to some sick person who likes to hurt people and you're just one of the victims who got caught!"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jul 6, 2007 18:53:19 GMT
"Well, I used to be one of the people who played this kind of sick fucking game! I don't want to be the victim anymore! I'd rather be making the rules than following them."
I can make you stronger...how would you like to be back in control, Hunt? I can do that...make you stronger...all you have to do is get rid of what made you weak...
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Post by Angel Simons on Jul 6, 2007 18:54:30 GMT
"You can't mean that," Angel said quietly. "You'd rather be one of them?"
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