Post by Arden Patricks on Nov 1, 2007 18:15:01 GMT
I hesitate for a while on the front steps of the castle, twirling in a stupid little circle before thinking, Fuck it, and marching off across the grounds, picking up rocks with my wand so I can hurl them away from me as far as possible.
I'm supposed to be inside now, helping with that party, I think bitterly. But nooo.... Arden had to be a little antisocial twat today, didn't she? Promisimg to be there and then getting to the door and then she turns around and leaves?
I throw another rock, hearing it crack against a tree.
You're a sponge, an imitation. You are too accomadating. Just nodding and going along, then pulling back when something's asked of you. You've got some of Andra's best traits and a lot of Chance's worse ones. You're just smack dab in the middle, just a living contradiction....
I lift another rock and let out a long sigh.
And you're being the old Arden when you promised that you wouldn't, my own voice continues naggingly as I catch the rock in my hand, tossing it up and then catching it over and over.
You are being dumb and gloomy and a little too dramatic. This isn't really you.
And that thought makes me stop dead still with the rock in my hand, thinking it over.
But is it really me? I change my bloody values just to suit whoever's near me. How do I know what's really me?
And I throw the rock harder than ever, letting out a shriek as I release it, trying to get it as far away from me as possible. Then I stare out at the spot where I think it might have landed, trying to suppress a sudden panic.
So which of me is real?
I'm supposed to be inside now, helping with that party, I think bitterly. But nooo.... Arden had to be a little antisocial twat today, didn't she? Promisimg to be there and then getting to the door and then she turns around and leaves?
I throw another rock, hearing it crack against a tree.
You're a sponge, an imitation. You are too accomadating. Just nodding and going along, then pulling back when something's asked of you. You've got some of Andra's best traits and a lot of Chance's worse ones. You're just smack dab in the middle, just a living contradiction....
I lift another rock and let out a long sigh.
And you're being the old Arden when you promised that you wouldn't, my own voice continues naggingly as I catch the rock in my hand, tossing it up and then catching it over and over.
You are being dumb and gloomy and a little too dramatic. This isn't really you.
And that thought makes me stop dead still with the rock in my hand, thinking it over.
But is it really me? I change my bloody values just to suit whoever's near me. How do I know what's really me?
And I throw the rock harder than ever, letting out a shriek as I release it, trying to get it as far away from me as possible. Then I stare out at the spot where I think it might have landed, trying to suppress a sudden panic.
So which of me is real?
