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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 4, 2007 23:54:34 GMT
I sat in the RoR, trying to get away from the crazy people I called family.
I hated to say it, but my family was really starting to get on my nerves, with every ever constant worrying, over-bearing, smothering family-ness.
I needed some time to myself, and that was the biggest problem.
If I went off by myself they'd start freaking out, thinking I'd tried to kill myself again.
You're not going to do it again? Ian's voice won't stay out of my head.
Neither will anyone else's for that matter.
Bella's voice is next,You're like a zombie Madds, you do things, but always with that dead look in your eyes. It's unnerving
Rory's voice floated in as well, Your eyes, they're not the same eyes MJ, they're not my baby cousin's happy warm eyes.
Jack and Nathan's voices still rang in my head,Your not eating Madds, come on, get some meat on your bones, your too thin.
And of course their was Charlie's voice, the one that just wouldn't leave me alone Your not my MJ! Your not my baby cousin!
"I'm still me," I mutter frustrated,"I'm still Maddie, I'm still me."
But not the same one we all love...
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 4, 2007 23:56:23 GMT
I walk in to the RoR looking for a place to study, but I see Maddie. She didn't look to happy. "Maddie are you okay? Do you want to be alone?" I ask her.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 5, 2007 0:04:28 GMT
I look up hearing someone say my name.
No words were coming from my mouth and I just said the first thing that popped into my head,'Huh?"
Okay, maybe that hadn't been the best idea.
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 5, 2007 0:06:18 GMT
"You okay, you seem a little distracted. I can go if you'd like and find somewhere else to study..." I say sitting down next to her.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 5, 2007 0:08:04 GMT
"No, it's fine." I mumble finally finding my voice.
"I'll go, I'm under house arrest anyway." I mumble lacking the engery to actually get up.
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 5, 2007 0:09:06 GMT
"Wait you're what?" I ask her surprised. "Here let me help..." I say wrapping an arm around her waist.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 5, 2007 0:15:27 GMT
"House arrest, after my little 'stunt' the family isn't letting me out of their sights," I mumble then squirm away from her embrace,"No, it's fine." I mumble, sinking back against the wall, leaning my head against it.
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 5, 2007 0:20:21 GMT
"I was just trying to help Maddie..." I say with a sigh. "Do you want to talk about it, or something else?" I ask her as I sat back down next to her.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 5, 2007 0:23:05 GMT
"Yeah, I know, everyone's trying to help and I'm getting a little sick of it, sorry." I mutter, putting my hands in my lap."Life's just...a little crazy right now." I mutter lacking for a better explaination.
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 5, 2007 0:36:30 GMT
"We can trade stories if you'd like..." I say with a sigh. "I cheated on Nick..."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 5, 2007 20:39:26 GMT
That all? I cheated on Ian...twice.
"Oh wow, Shelly.." I say quietly,"Sucks big time."
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 6, 2007 17:51:17 GMT
"Yeah, it was twice, and it was with a girl to make it worse..." I say with a sigh.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 6, 2007 20:06:56 GMT
I raise an eyebrow slightly,"Oh wow, didn't know you went that way Shell."
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 6, 2007 20:08:13 GMT
"I didn't think so either. That was the only and last time I'll ever do that..." I say shaking my head.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 6, 2007 20:11:32 GMT
"Wow." I say for a lack of words.
"You've had it pretty rough lately huh?"
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 6, 2007 20:13:38 GMT
"I guess. Nick and I almost had a divorce, Briar wasn't talking to me at all, and then the whole thinking I was pregnant again..." I say with a slight uneasy laugh.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 6, 2007 20:19:54 GMT
"Yeah, I lost my baby again, so we can be two not pregnant saddasses together." I mutter, leaning my head back against the wall.
"Divorce? Oh wow."
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 6, 2007 20:26:10 GMT
I nod my head. "He thought that I loved her more...but I didn't. But we made up. We love each other too much to loose each other. Like our wedding bands say, until forever ends, I'm yours." I say with a smile.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 6, 2007 20:34:18 GMT
I grimace slightly,"Too much information there Shelly," I laugh weakly,"Well you two are obivoiusly meant for each other then, got a lot going for you. Four kids isn't it?"
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 6, 2007 20:35:46 GMT
"Sorta. I had a kid with Logan Vassler when I was fourteen. That's a long story in it's self...but Nick loves her as much as his own."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 6, 2007 20:39:46 GMT
"Well still, three kids wow." I say, forcing a weak smile,"Still a lot in my opinion. How many times have you two gone at it?" I joke.
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 6, 2007 21:07:34 GMT
I laugh. "Seriously?" I ask jokingly. "Maybe...." I trail off smiling.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 6, 2007 21:15:05 GMT
"Yeah, that's a lot of kids to me." Then pull a face,"Oh gross."
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 6, 2007 21:15:50 GMT
I laugh. "We're actually not done with the kids yet..." I say looking down.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 6, 2007 21:20:56 GMT
"Oh god." I mutter, covering my ears,"You horny beast." I laugh.
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 6, 2007 21:22:07 GMT
I laugh even more now. "He wants five or six of his own..." I mutter slightly. "I want five total, which is just one more...for him it's two or three."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 6, 2007 21:29:39 GMT
"Oh wow, you want more kids?" I ask amazed."My cousin Jack says he wants at least ten. I don't even know if I want kids."
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 6, 2007 21:30:40 GMT
"Kids aren't for everyone. I just love them to pieces, they're everything to me..." I say with a smile to myself.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 6, 2007 21:35:30 GMT
"Yeah," I nod.
I didn't even get a chance to see if they were for me.
"They're something for you to live for huh?"
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Post by Shelby Chou on Oct 6, 2007 21:37:50 GMT
I nod my head. "I'd do anything for them. It's funny. I was terrified when I had Jenny, but now, I don't know what it be like without her, without any of them...I've lost a couple though." I say trailing off. I never told anyone that.
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