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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 19, 2008 23:39:03 GMT
"I figured." I laugh slightly. "But now I'm really curious... what were you going to say?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 19, 2008 23:46:22 GMT
"It's just.. uh.. thought about.." I started to say something and then went to mention Andra's funeral, not sure it'd be the best thing to say, but figuring she was going to keep asking anyway, ".. at Andra's funeral..." I start again after a few moments of me pausing. "When I went to go find you.. and.." I swallow and looked at her arm's for a second, before looking back to her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 19, 2008 23:53:23 GMT
"... Oh." I suck in a breath, nodding in understanding. "I forgot about that. So... you're asking if I'm or have been suicidal?" I ask a little uncomfortably, fidgeting with the edge of my sleeve because I can't find anything else.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 19, 2008 23:56:29 GMT
I nod my head, looking up at her into her eyes, not saying anything.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 0:02:47 GMT
I let out a deep breath, deciding to be honest, and shrug, though I drop my eyes. "Have been, yes. But not... for a while." I shrug again. "I'm fine now."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 0:12:58 GMT
I nod my head slighly and keep looking at her, leaning forward onto the table, "You're sure you're.. okay now though?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 0:18:49 GMT
"Yes, I'm fine." I nod quickly. "And... even if I get not-fine again, I can't do that to people, so I won't do anything stupid." It occurs to me that I've just said my long-standing promise out loud, and for some reason this bothers me as if it's now less potent.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 0:24:16 GMT
I nod slightly, swallowing a little, ".. Promise?" I asked her, still looking at her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 0:26:47 GMT
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, thinking carefully... knowing it probably doesn't look good to hesitate like this but not wanting to make an actual promise unless I'm sure I'll keep it. Then I nod, holding out a hand to shake on it. "Promise."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 0:29:54 GMT
I smiled slighty and shake her hand, still looking into her eyes. "Thanks."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 0:34:49 GMT
I smile slightly back, shrugging awkwardly. "It's... kind of hard to get used to and accept the idea that it would bother people, you know?" I ask without quite thinking, still feeling like I have to be cautious about what I say.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 0:44:29 GMT
"You don't think it would bother us?" I asked her kind of slowly, not really understanding why she'd find it hard to accept. "We love you, why would we want something to happen to you?" I asked her, saying we, talking about her group of friends and me.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 14:28:37 GMT
I shrug rather awkwardly, staring at the table. "I don't know... just hard to accept that I'm not being a bother, I suppose. And it seems... I don't know. It feels narcissistic to assume that people would care."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 17:07:12 GMT
I nod my head faintly, trying to understand where she was coming from, "Just know that you don't have to assume it anymore. I care. No matter what." I say to her, wishing she'd look at me and not the table.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 17:14:17 GMT
I nod, glancing up and smiling slightly, wanting to say thanks but also wanting to just drop the whole awkward topic.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 17:18:56 GMT
I smiled slightly back to her and leaned back in my seat, feeling as if this whole thing was very awkward. The silence wasn't very comfortable at all. "... Thanks for telling me.." I say after a few moments.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 17:23:22 GMT
I laugh slightly. "I would say you're welcome but I'm kind of sorry I did. I don't want to worry you or anything."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 17:34:12 GMT
I laughed a little bit, "I was kind of already worried." I tell her with small shrug.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 17:38:31 GMT
"Were you?" I frown slightly. "I'm sorry... there goes that brilliant plan."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 17:47:24 GMT
I shrug a little, "Yeah, a little. But now I know that you're okay right now, and it's okay." i say to her with a small smile.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 17:53:24 GMT
I nod, smiling back very slightly. "All is good then."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 17:57:45 GMT
I nod my head slightly and bite my bottom lip for a second. "Sorry.. this's kind of uncomfortable..." I say rubbing the back of my neck for a second. "Let's change the subject."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 18:02:17 GMT
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," I agree quickly, nodding. "Um... anything else up with you?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 18:11:37 GMT
I shook my head slightly, "No, not really... Oh, I haven't ran into any doors lately, if that counts." I say grinning slightly over to her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 18:15:43 GMT
I laugh slightly. "Well, that's progress...."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 18:25:43 GMT
I nod my head and smile, "What about you? Anything?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 18:30:51 GMT
I think a moment, then shake my head. "No, nothing really... I think we may have talked about it all."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 18:35:02 GMT
I nod my head, "Yeah.. I think so." I say rubbing the back of my head, having it kind of look like I'm ruffling my hair.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 18:42:27 GMT
I laugh slightly, watching him mess up his own hair for once. "So... what now then? We just sit here and stare at each other?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 20, 2008 18:47:33 GMT
I laughed a little and shook my head, "I hope not, that'd be weird." I say smiling, taking a drink of my water that I had forgotten was infront of me. "We could go somewhere.. or something.."
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