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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 17:23:52 GMT
"And you're one of the best," I say again, mostly to myself. I shake my head. "And how exactly do you get that distinction?" I ask, pretty sure I don't want to know.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 17:30:44 GMT
"Do what you're told, without question or error," I say with forced indifference, "No matter what or who."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 17:40:17 GMT
I nod, wanting to ask him again if he would kill me if ordered to and deciding I don't really want to know.
What the fuck kind of friendship is this? You think he might kill you, hate everything he stands for, told him that you'd let him die and then tortured him, and now you're just sitting here chatting? Have you gone completely mental, Arden?
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 17:47:34 GMT
Don't tell me you have to question it, Logan. You can't just decide to question what you've always believed.
I'm not. I'm not questioning it. I'm not. I'm a death eater and proud, I am, I am.
Can't fool your own sub-conscious.
"I...er...it's what I believe," I say after a moment, "And it's what I've always believed and what I always will. And I know that you don't...but...well, that's just...I don't know why I had to say that."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 17:52:04 GMT
"Not much point to it, no," I say, shaking my head. "How in the hell are we friends, Logan? I hate everything you stand for and vice versa... I'm weak but you're psychotic...." I give a slight laugh, hoping that he doesn't take it personally this time. "Why in the hell are we friends? Why were we ever?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 18:00:00 GMT
I laugh softly, "I have no idea why."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 18:06:51 GMT
"Well, that's helpful," I mutter. "I mean... I know why I wanted to be friends with you. Because you were the only kids around. But why did you not tell me to go away? And why in the hell can't we hate each other? Because we should, you can't deny that."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 18:18:08 GMT
"I dunno," I shrug, "Sort of liked having you around, I suppose. It's sort of nice to have a friend that wouldn't kill you as easily as blink. And yeah, can't deny that and I honestly don't know the answer."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 18:26:23 GMT
"Mmm... meh," I mutter, ironing my face. "That's not right, you know that? It doesn't make any sense. And on the one hand I should just drop the subject but on the other it's important... I think. I'm not making much sense right now, am I? And I should shut up now before I annoy you."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 18:30:07 GMT
"No, none of that made sense to me at all," I decide after a moment.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 18:38:48 GMT
I nod. "Probably a good thing." And maybe he's still decent, and you like the bit that's decent and that's why you're still friends with him, and vice versa etcetera.
"Um...." I glance down at the ground, wanting to change the subject.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 18:40:46 GMT
"Yeah, this isn't a good topic," I murmur, scratching my neck thoughtfully.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 18:45:30 GMT
"No, not a'tall," I shake my head. "Anything you can think of that's... safe?" I ask.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 18:48:14 GMT
"Safe?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 18:55:31 GMT
"Non-explosive or touchy?" I shrug. "I can't think of anything that won't potentially offend you."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 19:09:19 GMT
"I can pretend not to be offended if you want."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 19:14:10 GMT
"Can you really?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. Then I shake my head. "I don't want to offend you though. Probably will anyway, something will slip out, but there's got to be things we can talk about that won't end with us shouting at each other or wanting to."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 19:20:50 GMT
"I can," I nod, then shrug, "Yeah, there must be, but I can't think of any."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 19:24:23 GMT
"Which is pretty bad..." I laugh, finding it truly amusing in a really sad, pathetic way. "I'm impressed that you claim to have some self-control though," I add, possibly a little more stingingly than necessary.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 19:37:01 GMT
"Little worse than pretty bad, I'd say," I shake my head slightly, then snort with unamused laughter, "I do have self-control. If only a little."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 19:44:53 GMT
"Yeah, sorry," I wince slightly. "I... I did the same thing to Chris, after I forgave him. Even though I forgave him I still kept making stinging little comments... can't keep my mouth shut. If there's one thing you're very much right about it's the fact that I need to learn to keep my mouth shut."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 19:51:10 GMT
"Wouldn't hurt to think those things rather than say them," I nod.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 20:00:25 GMT
I nod. "On the other hand, they say that bottling things up can kill you. But I'm probably lucky not to have gotten killed for saying anything yet."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 20:07:08 GMT
"Yeah, maybe if you bottle things up with certain people and then say them in front of people who don't have the capability of killing?" I suggest.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 20:12:49 GMT
"There's a thought," I shrug. "Although on the other hand... I really can't talk about certain things with most people I know. You tell most people, say, the kinds of things we did as kids and they sort of back away from you."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 20:16:35 GMT
"Yeah, I can relate on that one," I laugh slightly, shaking my head. Except sometimes I just have to tell someone my name and they back away.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 20:21:23 GMT
"Guess you can." I laugh slightly, not really amused. "Hell, mostly if I mention your name to anyone they back away from me a bit. I've learned not to do that at least."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 1, 2007 20:27:06 GMT
"Yeah, I've noticed that too," I nod, still feigning some small form of amusmant, "Except if I mention my name they back away fast."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 1, 2007 20:34:13 GMT
"I can't really blame them, to be honest," I say without much thinking. "Can you?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Dec 2, 2007 17:22:25 GMT
"Nah, not at all," I laugh in a hollow sort of way.
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