thinking (Riyann)

[Arden Patricks]

You really need to get these weird thoughts out of your head, I say to myself conversationally, casually tossing a stone from hand to hand as I look out at the lake, debating with myself whether to toss it out there or not.
Yes, I realize that, I reply, somehow feeling the need to act as though this is an actual conversation rather than an interior monologue. But I’m not sure that it works that way. You can’t just decide what to think, and what to remember and what to forget.
I sigh loudly, suddenly whipping the stone out of my hands so it skips across the lake.
I didn’t even know I could do that.
But my hands feel empty when it’s gone, and the pleasant surprise doesn’t last long.
Stupid rock. Stupid thoughts, I think bitterly, turning around.

[Riyann Servansikk]

Walking out to the lake I stopped a ways away from it, just watching as a few clouds covered the sun momentarily taking away the light and then moving again. A rock being thrown across the lake tore me from my thoughts and I looked around and saw Arden and felt bad about how I left her the last time we'd talked and I didn't get the chance to do anything.
Going closer to the lake now I made my way to Arden, who was turning. Getting closer to her I waved and quietly said, "Hey."

[Arden Patricks]

I freeze just a little when I see Riyann, but only momentarily and I hope she doesn't notice.
"Hey." I smile slightly, suddenly remembering also the last time that we talked... a memory that simultaneously releases a slight ache at the thought of Andra, wariness of Riyann based on what she hinted she's involved in, and a nice surge of guilt that I really haven't done anything to make good on my promise that I'll accomplish something for this blasted war.
And, on top of that, seeing Riyann reminds me of those silly, silly thoughts about Riley that I've just been attempting to purge from my brain. I close my eyes briefly to try and get a grip, not letting any of those feelings overwhelm me, though anxiety takes their place.

[Riyann Servansikk]

Watching her carefully I noticed a few off things and was worried. Seeing her eyes closed I watched her, hoping it was nothing on my part. "I can leave if you want." I said quietly, looking out to the lake. First Janie acted nice and now Arden's acting oddly. I thought and shook my head. Unless she remembers me hinting about having the Dark Mark and, I started and tried my best to push that thought from my mind. So far I'd been avoiding the Dark Lord, not caring what would happen, since Shelby's dad was killed. This is why I want the wedding to be early, I don't want to risk it, I thought again, hoping the Dark Lord would take no notice to my absence.

[Arden Patricks]

"Wha- no," I shake my head quickly, frowning slightly in concern at how quiet she is and managing to push aside the other tangle of thoughts. "You don't have to leave, I was just... standing here." I shrug, crossing my arms just for something to do with my hands. "Are you all right?"

[Riyann Servansikk]

I nodded okay and then sat down on the ground, still looking out at the lake. "Thanks." I said, looking up at her briefly. "And I'm fine, just small little worries." I said, lying and putting on a small smile, a fake smile. Bringing my knees up to my chest I wrapped my arms around them tight, resting my chin on my knees, making myself comfertable.

[Arden Patricks]

I nod, watching her carefully as I sit down a few feet away.
"You don't... mind if I join you, do you?" I ask cautiously, still not really convinced that she's all right but deciding to pretty much drop it for the moment.

((Have to go. Byes!))

[Riyann Servansikk]

I shrugged. "There's room." I said, patting a spot beside me, still the thoughts of wondering what would happen if they found out I was ignoring the Dark Lord's calls and orders, or if they found out that I was a spy. I let out a short gasp of pain, the dark mark burning hot on my skin, hoping Arden didn't notice but I was sure she did.

[[byes bye]]

[Arden Patricks]

I shake my head at the offer of sitting closer to her, preferring to keep a few feet of distance between myself and other people. Then I frown slightly as she gasps. "Are you sure you're okay?" I ask worriedly, thinking she probably just shifted her weight and wound up sitting on a sharp rock or something, but you never know.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I shook my head shortly in pain, blinking it back and then finally building a tolerance to ignore it. "Don't worry-y-y." I said, trying to steady my voice. "I'm fine." I finally said after a few minutes of a break between sentences, getting it out with a straight voice. Looking down I made sure that my cloak was covering the mark well enough and shifted my weight to the other arm when I leaned back on them.

[Arden Patricks]

I nod, eying her carefully anyway, and trace random circles on my knee while I try to think of something to say.
Then again, weren't you the one who argued for quiet?

[Riyann Servansikk]

Ignoring the burn on my arm I hugged my knees like I had been earlier and carefully avoided the burn. "It's weird." I said quietly. "Isn't it? Before we actually talked." I said, explaining it and then dropping it again, looking down at my feet infront of me. This is so, awkward. I thought to myself, hoping I was just thinking it wrong and it really wasn't awkward.

[Arden Patricks]

I shrug slightly, pausing in the formation of a circle. "Maybe not that weird...." Except for the fact you're so quiet. "I just couldn't think of anything to say. Unless you have anything to say?"

[Riyann Servansikk]

"I guess." I said quietly, agreeing with her. "And, well nope." I added, sighing loudly. "How's everything been for you I guess." I stated more than questioned and turned my head to the side and peered at her curiously.

[Arden Patricks]

"It's been... all right," I shrug, turning off part of my brain rather thn actually think about the question... just in case. "How about you?"

[Riyann Servansikk]

I shrugged also and scratched my arm over the mark, it turning into an irritable itch now instead. "It's been good." Things could be better. I thought, also thinking about how the burn would happen more often then usual. "Been kind of crazy, trying to plan the wedding when I know nothing of what to do." I said with a sigh, still itching my arm.

[Arden Patricks]

I laugh slightly, still a little bothered by her lack of exuberance. "Not trying to do it all yourself, are you? From what I understand they get kind of complicated."

[Riyann Servansikk]

I shook my head, glaring at my arm shortly and then ignoring it. "Nah, we were starting out with small things like the guest list and what not, but Riley's mum is going to get the wedding planner she had and hopefully we'll get it done." I said, looking at her, blocking out the pain and smiling lightly.

[Arden Patricks]

"That should help," I nod. "Am I still invited?" I ask lightly, smiling a little.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I nodded. "Of course." I said and chuckled lightly. "Don't see why you wouldn't be." I said, gradually seeming more like myself.

[Arden Patricks]

"Well, that's good to hear." I smile slightly more genuinely.

[Riyann Servansikk]

Grinning I nodded. "Yup. Don't see why we'd not have you." I said quieter with a small chuckle. "We're not sure on the date, but sometime late this month, possibly early Febuary if we don't have an open spot to book or anything." I said, thinking about bridesmades and who I should have as them. "Hey Arden, will you be a bridesmade?" I asked, serious about it.

[Arden Patricks]

I freeze in something like horror, immediately wanting to say, 'hell no,' but pretty sure that would be extremely rude. It's supposed to be an honor or something, isn't it? Not something terrifying?
"Um... are you serious?" I ask weakly, to buy some time.

[Riyann Servansikk]

Watching her and hearing her answer I chuckled lightly. "It's alright to say no Arden." I said, grinning at her, giving her a small shrug.

[Arden Patricks]

I laugh slightly in relief, but tinged with some guilt. "Are you sure?" I ask. Why would you even ask me, anyway?

[Riyann Servansikk]

I nodded. "It's fine," I said, "I wouldn't force anyone to do it so it's fine."

[Arden Patricks]

I nod, letting out a breath in relief. "As long as you're sure. Why... why would you even ask me, anyway?" I ask curiously.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I chuckled and looked over at Arden. "I'm sure." I said and shook my head lightly. "Because you're my friend, and I know you and Riley are good friends." I said, turning and looking back out to the lake.

[Arden Patricks]

"Well... I suppose that's a reason." I shrug.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I let out a small chuckle and nodded. "Yup, but it's fine." I paused. "You'll be there though, won't you?"