Can't be happening...{Riyann}

[Riley Pearson]

I slowly walked into the funeral parlour, not really believing what was happening. Seeing the casket, I felt a large knot form in my throat and I stopped where I was, frozen, not being able to walk any further. There was the last row of chairs next to me and I sat down in the nearest one, feeling tears roll down my face again, not looking up, almost scared to.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I had been sitting there for a while, just staring ahead. A casket sitting there and I almost felt sorry for whoever it belonged to, no one had come to say good-bye yet for all the time I'd been staring at it.
A door opened and shut, but I sat there ignoring it wondering who it was and why I was here if I didn't know. I didn't even know how'd I'd gotten here, my memory just blank on what had last happened.
Slowly I got up, soundlessly I started walking, between the chairs and up towards the casket, looking down at the body I stared, standing there dumbfounded and not noticing much of it, just a girl. None of it regestered as I looked at the pale face, but a lone tear rolled down off my cheek and dropped, making me see the transparent tear drop through the body and I knew what happened. It's me. I thought, taking a shaky step backwards and stepping away from the casket. Turning around I saw the person that had come in and I took another step towards the casket before sitting down.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled, my eyes still locked on Riley.

[Riley Pearson]

Still not looking up towards to the casket, I could've sworn I heard Riyann's voice up from the front of the room, just making matters worse. More tears fell down my face. Feeling like I was driving myself crazy, thinking about her so much, that I had actually had myself hear her voice. I shook my head slightly and just kept staring at the floor, almost feeling like someone was watching me.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I sat there, looking at Riley and then looking down at myself, crying as I saw right through myself and could see the floor that I was sitting on. I cried silently, not wanting Riley to see me and have it be worse. I knew it would be worse because that's all we'd be able to do is see eachother. I got back up and started moving away from the casket and towards Riley, hoping he wouldn't look up and was moving towards the door to get out of there, seeing more transparent tears fall down.

[Riley Pearson]

I took in a deep shaky breath and finally got myself to look up from the floor. I saw Riyann. Not in the casket, but walking, looking like she was about to leave. I stood up from where I was sitting slowly and swallowed, wiping a few tears from my eyes. I stared at her, my eyes slightly wide and my mouth open a little bit, seeing that she was a ghost.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I stood there, stopping when Riley stood up, but not looking at him. "I'm sorry." I mumbled again, wanting to leave again, not sure how this would be. Instead I gathered up my courage and turned to look at him, seeing him stare at me, almost as if he were really that shocked. But then again, why wouldn't he be shocked? I'm dead and then all of a sudden he sees my ghost?

[Riley Pearson]

I blinked and closed my mouth, starting to walk closer to her, wiping way another tear. I stopped infront of her and shook my head slightly when she said she was sorry, "... I-It's not your fault..." I say silently shaking my head slightly, wanting to hug her more than anything. I put my hand on her shoulder, having it go right through.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I cried some more, seeing how hard this was for him and shook my head. "It is." I said quietly, not denying it or blaming someone else. "I told you what I was doing in the forest that one day. I TOLD YOU." I shouted the last part. "I already kill Audrina." I said, whispering. "But I couldn't do it again Riley. I, I couldn't. A-a-and they found out." I said, stumbling over my words, wanting to feel Riley's touch, not just have his hand go through me. "And I'm making you pay." I said quietly before stepping backwards.

[Riley Pearson]

I flinched slightly when she shouted, listening to everything she was telling me. I shook my head slightly and took a step closer to her when she took one backwards. "I-I know you told me.. a-and I let you!" I said raising my voice a little, "I let you.." I repeated quieter, feeling my eyes burn, having a few more tears fall from them, still looking at Riyann.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I shook my head, it wasn't his fault and it never would be. "There was no way for you to change my mind Riley and you know it." I said, almost wanting him to hate me, to make it easier for him, but knowing it wouldn't work. "It was never your fault." I said, stepping back some more, wanting to run away from this.

[Riley Pearson]

I took in another deep breath, it still being shaky, from all the crying I'd been doing. "You're sure there was, no way I could've?" I asked her slowly and silently as she took another step away from me, me looking to the floor for a few seconds, wishing she wouldn't keep moving away and wanting to grab onto her hand and pull her closer.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I shook my head slowly, stopping and sitting down on a chair, still a ways away from Riley. "No." I whispered and saw more tears drop and vanish through the floor. I looked everywhere but to Riley, first on the floor and then to my casket, bringing me back to what was happening and I shook my head somemore.

[Riley Pearson]

I wiped my eyes again and walked back to where she was sitting, even though she kept moving away from me. I kneeled down infront of her chair, feeling a little colder since I was so close to her. "Please look at me.." I say quietly, a few tears running down my face, not being able to stop them.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I shivered when I heard Riley crying and couldn't help but to look at him, tears in my eyes. "Riley, I'm dead." I said, bringing the reality back and wanting desperatly to hold onto him. "There's nothing you can do, so what do you want me to do about it?" I asked, not wanting to be so mean about it, but knowing I was.

[Riley Pearson]

I flinched slightly at her words even though I knew they were true and swallowed slightly before shaking my head. "I, I don't know," I say quietly, looking at her, "... I just wish I could hold you.." I add almost whispering, placing a hand on her cheek, feeling a cold sensation on my hand as I held it there, tears still silently falling down my face.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I sat there wishing I could feel his hand instead of a small burn. "I know." I whispered, seeing the tears fall through the ground again, wishing I could feel anything but the small burn of Riley's hand. I wish I could feel anything. "I love you." I said, whispering it.

[Riley Pearson]

I sighed slightly and nodded and my head, "I love you too.." I say quietly back, not taking my eyes off her, feeling pressure build up in my head and throat, trying to hold back my tears, but letting one out anyway, it sliding down my cheek. "... and I always will."

[Riyann Servansikk]

"Why?" I asked, wanting to know why he even still loved me, even after I got myself killed. "I ruined it all. I-I." I started but didn't finish, crying some more. "Why?" I whispered, repeating my question.

[Riley Pearson]

"How can I not?" I asked her looking in her eyes. "Just because you're..." I stopped and shook my head, not wanting to say it, "You're the one.. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.. I-I can't just stop." I told her with a sad look in my eyes.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I shook my head lightly. "You want to spend the rest of your life trying to hold onto a ghost?" I asked, wanting to make him hate me, at least for now, wanting him to not love me like he did.

[Riley Pearson]

I stared at her and took in another breath before speaking. "I know I can't.. but I can't stop loving you." I say, feeling almost like she was still alive, even though I knew very well that she wasn't. "I can't hate you."

[Riyann Servansikk]

But I want you too, I thought and just looked at Riley. I started reaching out to touch the side of Riley's face but pulled my hand back before I could. Looking at him I shook my head and felt so hurt, putting my head in my hands, letting the tears flow and sighing.

[Riley Pearson]

"... You want me to hate you?" I asked silently, watching her put her head in her hands.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I shrugged. "I do, but I really don't." I whispered into my hands.

[Riley Pearson]

I stared at her and shook my head, "I can't.. I can't just do that.."

[Riyann Servansikk]

"I know that Riley." I said, looking up again and looking at him. "It doesn't mean anything though. Why you'd want to waste your life loving something that's just barely out of reach is also dumb." I said, looking at him and shaking my head, seeing strands of hair fall in my face, but being able to see through them. "You don't know what it's like to not feel anything, not a simple touch, you don't and I sure hope you won't ever." I said to him, shaking my head again. "You don't." I whispered.

[Riley Pearson]

I shrugged and kept looking at her, taking in another shaky breath, feeling my heart break in two as I realized everything she said was right.
"Shell had a spell to get Logan back.. mayeb it'll work on you. Then you can be alive. Then it'll be like none of this ever happend." I said slightly frantically, wishing I didn't love her so much.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I nodded simply, not wanting to think about it, that would give me to much hope. Hope for something I didn't think I could get. I looked away from Riley again. "How'd I die?" I asked, rubbing my neck in the front where it'd been hurting since I could remember.

[Riley Pearson]

I shook my head slighty, "I don't know... Tyler never told me..." I said softly still looking at her.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I nodded, feeling along my neck and finding a cut, a deep cut but hiding the fact that I found it. "I see." I said and turned away.