Nothing like a walk to clear you head.

[Remus Lupin]

"It does." I say. "Transforming hurts, like your whole body is being ripped apart and all your limbs and organs are trying to twist away from you and escape your body and the scariest part is losing control. The total blank from the mind-shattering pain in the evening, to waking up with a splitting headache and blurry eyes and blood under your fingernails with no memory of what had happened. That complete and total loss of control, is the worst thing about it. But the pain of transforming is-...there's nothing like it. Bodies aren't supposed to change, so when they do, it hurts-..." I stop uneasily. "Or so the book said."

[Isabella Knox]

I sit down with shock and hug my knees, it really hurt that much. But how could Remus get that information out of a book? What if he was? "Remus, are you....i mean....are you one....are you a werewolf?" I ask nervously

[Remus Lupin]

I remain silent, hoping my refusal to answer would tell her.
I couldn't say I was.
Not after seeing the disgust on her face when I'd asked her.
I couldn't tell her.
But I couldn't lie.
I'd just stay silent.

[Isabella Knox]

"Remus, please answer. I don't care if you are." I say nervously.

[Remus Lupin]

"Izzy...when I asked you...did you realise about the expression of disgust on your face...?" I stammer quietly.

[Isabella Knox]

"It was only because i..er...i didn't mean to make that face there was a...a bad smell." I say quickly. "Remus please tell me, i really don't care if you are or not, you're still the same Remus to me." I say

[Remus Lupin]

"I think you've already guessed haven't you? I mean surely I would have denied it, if it weren't true by now. Just don't make me say it." I say quietly.

[Isabella Knox]

"Oh Rem." I say and i hug him tightly. "You were the one Serry was talking about."

[Remus Lupin]

"Huh?" I say. "What did Serry say?"

[Isabella Knox]

"Now there's three of us." I mutter remembering Serry's words. I hoped Remus didn't hear.

[Remus Lupin]

"How many?" I say softly. "There's more than just me and Serry? And did you say 'us'? Izzy? Izzy?"

[Isabella Knox]

I pretend to ignore him, i stand up and look out the window. "It's nearly light." I say quietly.

[Remus Lupin]

She ignores me.
Which gave me all the confirmation I needed, but I didn't say anything.

[Isabella Knox]

I suddenly get a huge headache and clutch my head in pain and felt a pain surge through my body. I somehow felt different, like something was inside me. What was happening?

[serenitysmith]

I look at Iz. 'Are you okay? Iz?'

[Isabella Knox]

"No, something weird just happend and i feel like there's a presence deep inside me wanting to get out and i have a huge headache." I say worridly

[serenitysmith]

'Ohh. well i guess thats suppose to happen.' I smile

[Remus Lupin]

As if I'd needed anymore confirmation, she'd practically just admitted it.
I still don't say anything.

[Isabella Knox]

I take a deep breath. "Remus, i think i am a werewolf. But it's all too confusing and i'm still not sure."

[Remus Lupin]

I nod slowly, not quite sure what to say.
"Hereditory? The gene dormant until now?" I ask, deciding to find out exactly what was going on first.

[Isabella Knox]

"You hit the nail on the head there." I say with a weak laugh.

[Remus Lupin]

"I thought it would be that." I say. "Process of elimination. I would have noticed the signs leading up the full moon before now so it must be a recent condition, you haven't been in contact with any transformed werewolves because Serry and I are both locked far away during the full moon so it must have been dormant until now and the only way the gene is passed down is if it's hereditory and I'm going to stop now because the last thing you want to hear right now is my rambling logic..." I pause and say gently, reassuringly. "You can live with it Izzy. It's harder sometimes. But people can cope and can live with it. It's managable. Most of the time."

[Isabella Knox]

I feel tears well up in my eyes. "I know Remus but, i'm so scared." I say and bring my knees up to my chest and hug them.

[Remus Lupin]

I pat her gently on the back. "I know, it is scary. But it gets easier. I promise, it gets easier. When you know what to expect it's easier and not as scary."

[Isabella Knox]

"I hope so. But Rem, what if people find out?" I say worridly

[Remus Lupin]

"It will become a reflex to lie about it." I say sadly. "Only tell the people you'd trust with your life. And you have to lie to everyone else. It's hard. Perhaps one of the hardest things about it. Having to lie constantly, over and over again to anyone who tries to care."

[Isabella Knox]

"Is that why you lied to me?" I ask sadly.

[Remus Lupin]

"Yes." I answer truthfully. "That's why I had to lie to you. But that was more because I didn't want you to think less of me. If I had it my way no one would have known but my friends worked it out and then I couldn't lie to Rin anymore and now I've found out about you and Serry and lots of people know now."

[Isabella Knox]

"Should i tell Sirius? I don't want to lie to him, but i don't want him to hate me either, i mean isn't his family those type that hate everything not pure?" I ask nervously.

[Remus Lupin]

"Yes," I say slowly. "But Sirius doesn't care what his family think. I wouldn't worry about him hating you. He worked out what I was in third year and him and James and Peter didn't abandon me at all. They won't think any less of you just like they didn't think any less of me. Tell Sirius, as soon as you feel like you're ready to."