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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 22, 2008 1:06:10 GMT
"I don't want it," I whisper softly,"Not if your not there anymore."
Would you just look at this sexual tension?
Shut up, your not helping.
Neither of you are help so shut up.
I wince, putting my palm to my forehead. It was getting harder to block the voices now.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 22, 2008 1:16:39 GMT
"What do you want Maddie?" I can't keep the exasperation out of my voice now.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 22, 2008 1:20:34 GMT
"What kind of question is that?" I ask, not even trying to hide the desperation in my voice.
Wow, this guy really does think his with dick then.
Shut up, she loves him.
No, I don't I don't want too.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 22, 2008 1:24:38 GMT
"What do you want me to do? You keep fucking changing your mind, one minute you don't want anything to do with me and then you're saying you love me again. What the fuck?"
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 22, 2008 1:28:53 GMT
The heart's a confusing thing.
Why do you think she never uses that?
I sigh heavily, putting my hand to my forehead.
I want things to go back to the way they were. I want to love you as much as I did. I want my son. I want you not to cheat on me. I want you to be mine again.
"I don't know...I don't know.."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 22, 2008 21:23:22 GMT
"Will you just stop fucking around?" I raise my voice angrily, "I made a mistake and I'm sorry. I love you and I always will. But stop fucking around with me! Do you forgive me or not? Are you staying with me or not?"
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 23, 2008 2:43:29 GMT
"I'm not fucking around, I'm trying to make a choice here!" I say, my temper getting the best of me.
Now, your not. Your trying to protect yourself from getting hurt. But you can't. Someone is bound to get hurt.
I say it should be him.
I'd rather it be me then him.
"I love you," I whisper softly,"I forgive you."
But can you stay?
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 23, 2008 22:02:58 GMT
"Well fucking make it!"
You're not doing yourself any favours here, Ian.
I glance away from her again, half ashamed by my behaviour but mostly at her words. I don't want to hear them.
Not if it's the last time I will.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 24, 2008 0:13:38 GMT
"It's not that fucking easy!"
It should be though, if you love him as much as you say you do it should be easy.
"I love you," I whisper again, tugging his jacket closer around myself as I start to shiver,"I forgive you." I swallow the lump that had lodged itself in my throat.
"I'm staying."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 24, 2008 16:45:33 GMT
I fold my arms across my chest, accidentally pushing my wet t-shirt against my chest and making me even colder.
You wanted her to stay.
I know this is true, and I still very much want her to stay with me. But I don't really know how I'm supposed to be or what I'm supposed to say to her right now.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 25, 2008 12:32:52 GMT
I watch the gesture and I can feel a frown flickering at the corner of my lips.
"You don't want me to, do you?"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 25, 2008 23:07:06 GMT
"Of course I want you to stay."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 4:27:38 GMT
Some way of showing it.
I shake my head, pushing my wet hair back off my forehead, and taking a step closer to him.
Slapping him, I tug the jacket closer to me, heading back towards the house.
"That's for making me stand out here in the rain."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 12:23:34 GMT
I close my eyes in exasperation once she's walked past, then turn and head slowly back up to the house again.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 15:30:35 GMT
For some reason I just can't force myself to be angry with him. Only person I was angry with at the moment was myself. Pushing my hair back behind my ear, I drop the jacket onto the ground, wrapping my arms around myself and heading into the kitchen.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 20:11:59 GMT
I hesitate for a long moment in the hallway once she's gone. I'm soaking wet and should probably go and change or at least dry off or something.
But I'm pretty sure the most pressing concern would be talking to her. And I know that I should really tell her about Shell's...condition now, before it's too late and while she's still in the mindset to say that she doesn't want to be with me anymore. But I don't want to do this.
So I just stay in the hall.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 20:18:33 GMT
I know I should go change or I'd get sick but I don't. Picking the glass off the ground for the broken glass, I wander over to the counter, not sure why I was still here.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 20:27:11 GMT
"Maddie?" I don't remember walking down the hall, but I find myself in the doorway.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 20:31:42 GMT
I glance up at him, not hearing him walk down the hall.
"Huh?"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 20:39:50 GMT
"Would you rather we didn't bother with us anymore?" I ask after a moment trying to work out how to phrase the question. "In all honesty?"
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 20:52:27 GMT
I can feel my heart drop, and I move my hands into my lap.
You just set yourself up to be knocked down again Madeline.
"You don't want to.." My voice sounds so much unlike my own, so fearful and quite."You don't.."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 20:54:43 GMT
"No," I say immediately, "Of course I do. Maddie, I love you, I want to be with you. I just...want to know you feel the same."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 20:56:40 GMT
"Of course I do," I say softly.
I'm just hurt is all.
"Promised you forever, didn't I?"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 21:09:52 GMT
I nod weakly, taking a hesitant step forward, "I really am so sorry. It was a mistake. A really really stupid mistake."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 21:13:03 GMT
A part of me wants to back away from him for some reason, but I'm leaning back against the counter. It felt like we were strangers again.
Swallowing the lump that had risen in my throat, I nod weakly,"We all make mistakes, we're only human." I gently take hold of his hand,"I forgive you,"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 21:29:16 GMT
I keep hold of her hand, but don't make any other move for contact, "Thank you."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 21:32:18 GMT
I nod weakly, letting go of his hand, wrapping my arms around myself instead.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 21:38:04 GMT
"I have to tell you-" I stop, before I finish the sentence because I don't want to have her ask me what, I just need to say it so she can yell at me, or slap me, or leave me before I get my hopes up that she'll stay and this'll all be okay, "Shell's pregnant."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 21:41:17 GMT
My stomach drops and I can feel the color drain from my face. Oddly enough a part of me isn't that surprised.He never could remember protection. I wrap my arms tighter around myself, the need to back away increasing.
"Oh." I say softly.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 21:47:22 GMT
"I said I'd be there, when she needs me to be," I tell her, still waiting for her to slap me or leave or something.
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