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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 19:21:23 GMT
I stop, staying still.
So they are yours.
...No, mind is made up now. No.
Can't walk away if they're yours.
Can't turn back around either.
I make the conscience decision that I despise the voices in my head for arguing instead of giving me something actually useful to use.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 19:30:01 GMT
I look down, shaking my head, letting the tears that were welled up in the corners of my eyes run down my face.
I bite my lip, not knowing what else I could say. Or if there was anything more I could say.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 19:34:29 GMT
I close my eyes, resisting the temptation to grit my teeth in frustration, then turn back around.
"Fine, fine, I'm not-...I have a moral issue with abandoning them if they are definitely mine, so fine."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 19:39:17 GMT
"You don't have to stay, no one's asking you to." I say quietly, wiping my tears away.
"Besides, we could never be parents. Least not together. I mean look at us, I'm an alcoholic eating disorder, pilling popping, heroin addict and your...wel you." I reply, standing up straighter, but not turning round to look at him,"Maybe apart these two will have a fighting chance."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 19:43:31 GMT
"My conscience would give me headaches if I don't," I reply, "And I never said anything about being parents together."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 19:48:33 GMT
"So then what, you take one kid I take the other?"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 19:51:37 GMT
"Ever heard of joint custody?"
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 20:03:38 GMT
"Shuttling them back and forth from Paris to wherever your going? Don't you think that's a bit unfair to them?"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 20:05:14 GMT
"You're going to fucking Paris?"
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 20:15:09 GMT
I turn back around, finally looking up at him,"I thought you knew, everyone's been talking about it for days."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 20:20:19 GMT
"I tried not to listen where your name was mentioned," I reply.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 20:26:51 GMT
"Understandable I guess," I mutter, looking back down.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 20:28:31 GMT
I feel unnecessarily cruel after saying this, but don't say anything to right it.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 20:45:10 GMT
"I think it's safe to say we're back to sqaure one," I mutter,"The one where we hated each other?"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 20:47:28 GMT
"Yeah, we're back there," I nod, meaning it for once.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 20:53:08 GMT
I nod weakly. You mean back to when he hates you.
And why shouldn't he?
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 20:56:08 GMT
You're being a cold hearted bastard again.
I clench my jaw slightly, feeling extremely cruel despite the constant reassuring myself it's justified.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 20:58:22 GMT
"Alright, so joint custody then?"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 21:00:56 GMT
"Whatever's convenient. Wouldn't want to fuck up your life or anything," I say, unable to keep from being sarcastic any longer.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 21:01:54 GMT
I bite down on my tongue not wanting to stoop to his level, I was getting sick of fighting with everyone."Beats adoption."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 21:03:04 GMT
"Barely," I mutter, Now that's just not what you think at all.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 21:36:23 GMT
"Would you rather we give them up? Cos I'm not planning on doing that."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 21:45:51 GMT
"No," I say stubbornly.
Oh wow, from cold hearted bastard to insolent child in the space of how many minutes?
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 21:55:11 GMT
"So what then Ian? What do you want?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest, felt as if I was dealing with one of my neices or nephews.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 21:57:31 GMT
You, my family, things to be how they were again.
"I'm not having this conversation," I mutter.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 22:02:51 GMT
"Your acting like a child Ian." I mutter, tucking a loose strand of hair back behind my ear.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 25, 2007 22:04:19 GMT
Maybe I am a fucking child. I'm 18. I'm only 18.
"Well how the hell am I supposed to act?"
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 25, 2007 22:33:41 GMT
"How the hell am I suppose to know? I'm not in your fucking mind." I snap.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Nov 29, 2007 15:44:11 GMT
"And I'm quite glad about that," I snap back.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Nov 30, 2007 21:45:58 GMT
I bite down on my bottom lip to refrain for snapping back, angry tears forming in my eyes.
Do you see how he treats you? Why do you keep putting up with him? You don't need this.Why do you let him treat you like this
Cos I love him.
So you cheated on him?
I ingore the snide little voice in the back of my head, repeating Because I love him. over and over.
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