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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 24, 2008 1:01:20 GMT
I force a weak humourless laugh, shaking from the cold and the underwater experience.
"It's just a little water...never hurt anyone," I mumble, still trying to catch my breath.
My clothes are soaked and heavy, my hair is wet and clinging to my face, I want to get up but I can't seem to feel anything.
For some reason none of this matters at this moment.
I try warming my hands up slightly by blowing on them before tracing them softly over Ian's face.
"It's okay..I'm okay.."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 24, 2008 16:49:35 GMT
"You f-fell," The second word sticks in my throat painfully. It seems illogical that she's still here. After I've watched Erin fall, watch her break, it seems stupid that after seeing Maddie fall the same way that she's still here and she's still okay.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 25, 2008 12:31:43 GMT
"I know," I mumble quietly. I could still feel the wind whipping around me as I fell and the hard shatters as I broke through the water.
"I'm okay..alright, come on stop," I mumble, burying my head into his chest,"Your going to make me start.."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 25, 2008 23:12:55 GMT
I sit up slightly, keeping her securely in my arms and still holding her very tightly to me as if she might still just crumple into a dead heap if I let her go.
I rub her back lightly with a shaking hand as she burries her head in my chest, carefully resting my head on top of hers.
"You fell," I repeat as an incredulous mumble into her hair.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 4:32:18 GMT
I don't protest as he draws me closer, but I make no move to move closer to him.
Saying nothing, I just bury my head deeper into his chest, fighting back the tears, shivering slightly.
"Can I go home, please?" I beg softly.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 12:24:58 GMT
"Yes, home," I mumble, but make no move to either get up or let her go enough for her to get up.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 15:41:26 GMT
I can't seem to feel anything at the moment but I'm not to concerned. I know things have been strained between us the past couple of days and I regret it. I hadn't been doing anything to make things easier. Locking myself in my room and crying wasn't going to fix things.
Moving closer against him, to try and keep warm, I mumble a brief, "Sorry." Into his chest.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 20:13:10 GMT
"Got nothing to be sorry for," I mumble back, gratefully pulling her closer still as she moves a little further against me.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 20:21:11 GMT
"Have everything to be sorry for." I mumble back against his chest. I felt like everything was my fauly nowadays. The family death's, Alex being taken away, the falling out between me and Ian.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 20:28:07 GMT
"It's not your fault," I say quietly, still keeping her very close to me.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 20:49:46 GMT
"Yes it is," I mumble, my voice muffled against him."It's all my fault..I wasn't..good enough.." I move closer, still shivering.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 20:56:04 GMT
"Of course, you're good enough, you're always good enough. You're better than good enough so don't say that," I mumble, rubbing my hands up and down her back in a vain attempt to warm her up.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 21:00:11 GMT
"No, I'm not. I'm a horrible person. I've failed as a mother. I'm as disappointment as a daughter. My cousins are dying because of me..and you.." I stop, knowing it wasn't fair to keep bringing that up."I'm not good enough for you."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 21:11:40 GMT
"You haven't failed as a mother, you were a wonderful mother. Any father who finds you a disappointment is letting you down and not the other way around. Your cousins put themselves at risk, it's a war Maddie, people are going to die and-," I stop not sure how to respond to the last part, "You're far too good for me Maddie."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 21:18:56 GMT
I force a weak laugh, my head still against his chest, listening to his heartbeat like I use to.
"Still think you should have let me drown," I mumble, moving closer."It's really cold."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 21:30:45 GMT
"No, I don't think I should have," I shake my head, then nod, still shaking slightly, "Freezing."
The rational part of me knows we shouldn't be sitting here in the rain after just being in a freezing lake, but I don't want to risk letting her go, so I stay put.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 21:36:13 GMT
"Why not?" I ask softly, tugging at his jacket."I'm really cold," I mumble again, wanting to get up. Not quite yet though, but I knew if we stayed here any long we'd freeze.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 21:48:16 GMT
"Because I love you," I mumble, then nod again, "We should get up."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 21:51:42 GMT
Nodding weakly, it takes everything I have not to say it back. I still loved him, more then anything. I just wasn't sure I could say it anymore.
I nod, making no move to get up. Didn't have the engery to.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 22:05:16 GMT
I let go of her, stumbling to my feet and holding out my hand to her.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 26, 2008 22:06:41 GMT
I take hold of his hand, hauling myself up, wrapping my arms around him to stay warm.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 26, 2008 22:11:26 GMT
I pull her close to me, walking slowly so as not to move her away too much.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 27, 2008 16:50:34 GMT
"Your always there when I need you," I mumble softly, leaning closer against him.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 27, 2008 17:09:26 GMT
"I guess we're lucky then," I reply quietly, keeping my arm firmly around her.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 27, 2008 17:36:20 GMT
I nod weakly, tugging his jacket closer around myself,"Your jacket sucks at keeping people warm," I mumble softly.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 27, 2008 17:47:49 GMT
"Probably because it's wet. And far too big for you anyway."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 27, 2008 17:59:44 GMT
"Not my fault your bigger," I mumble weakly, resting my head on his chest as we keep walking.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 27, 2008 18:11:31 GMT
"I never said it was," I mumble back, running my hand lightly up and down her side in a vain attempt to warm her.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Jan 27, 2008 18:16:19 GMT
"I need to get home," I mumble weakly, moving closer against him,"Have funerals to plan."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 27, 2008 18:38:06 GMT
I'm not sure what to say to this, so I just keep her closer, still walking slowly.
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