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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 22, 2007 23:46:48 GMT
"No, I do...this...it's my fault, Maddie. I got them in trouble and...it's my fault," I say hoarsely.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 22, 2007 23:52:20 GMT
"Okay, okay," I mutter,"Don't talk, you don't need to explain yourself."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 22, 2007 23:53:59 GMT
I nod, slightly grateful, keeping my arms round her.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 22, 2007 23:56:07 GMT
I lean my head against his, staying close to him.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 22, 2007 23:58:26 GMT
I keep my eyes closed, not wanting to open them, keeping as close to her as I can.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 23, 2007 0:01:20 GMT
What can you say to him? Can't say sorry cos he doesn't like sympathy. Can't say it's not your fault cos he'll say it is. Can't say it'll get better cos it won't. Your stuck between a rock an a hard place here MJ "You want me to get you anything?" I ask,"Sleeping pill? Water? Firewhiskey?"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 23, 2007 16:17:42 GMT
"No, I'm-...I'm okay," I say quietly, lying on my back again. Are you? What kind of a question is that? You're even lying in your own psyche. Complete fuck-up. "You're not a fuck-up, I swear to God you're not. You're my brother so you're not allowed to say that." "Yeah, well, you know what? You're an idiot. Go away." "That was a good comeback. Okay, maybe you're are semi-fucked up then. Or just semi-retarded...either way." The conversation pops into my head from no where, and I lock my fingers together in front of me so I'd have something to do with my hands to concetrate on rather than concentrating on thinking.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 23, 2007 20:40:58 GMT
I put my hand lightly over his hands,"Are you?" I ask quietly,"You don't have to lie to me you know,"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 23, 2007 20:45:02 GMT
I glance at her, then back up at the ceiling, "No, guess I'm not really okay then."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 23, 2007 21:52:20 GMT
"Doesn't take a reader to figure that out Tiger," I say softly.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 24, 2007 10:37:39 GMT
"Yeah, apparently so," I mutter, still looking up at the ceiling.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 24, 2007 20:36:37 GMT
"You sure you don't want me to go?"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 25, 2007 20:37:59 GMT
"No, don't go," I say quietly, I don't know what I'll do if I'm on my own.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 25, 2007 20:44:23 GMT
"Okay," I say, still laying close to him,"I won't leave you."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 25, 2007 20:46:35 GMT
"Thanks," I say quietly, then fall silent again.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 25, 2007 20:47:32 GMT
"You've always been there for me, my turn to return the favour." I whisper quietly.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 25, 2007 20:50:31 GMT
"I'm not very good at being there for you," I mumble.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 25, 2007 20:52:43 GMT
"Your there when I need you the most,"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 25, 2007 20:54:33 GMT
"Not enough to stop you from-..." I stop talking abruptly, not having meant to say that out loud.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 25, 2007 20:56:38 GMT
I frown, turning on my back away from him,"I thought we had gotten past that,"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 25, 2007 20:59:02 GMT
"Yeah, I thought we had too," I mutter. And then I went and realised that I just let you do it, just like I let Erin do it, just like I fucked up so much I got my brother and my daughter killed.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 25, 2007 21:00:55 GMT
"Then why do you have to keep fucking bringing it up," I mutter.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 25, 2007 21:02:14 GMT
"I don't know," I mutter. Because I'm not fucking over it.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 25, 2007 21:05:02 GMT
I keep my arms crossed over my chest, glaring slightly at the wall. You know exactly why, just won't fucking tell me.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 25, 2007 21:08:01 GMT
I resist the urge to sigh, sitting up with my back to her, looking at the wall.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 25, 2007 21:11:35 GMT
I sit up, my back to him, about to get up and storm up but don't. You can't leave him, not now. I sigh, and lay back down, keeping my eyes on the wall.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 25, 2007 21:12:29 GMT
"Sorry," I say quietly, "I shouldn't have brought it up."
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 25, 2007 21:14:06 GMT
I shurg, then stop seeing as he even wasn't looking at me.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 25, 2007 21:17:21 GMT
I stay silent, absently tracing scars up one arm until they disappear under my sleeve.
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Post by Madeline Speare on Oct 25, 2007 21:18:44 GMT
"I'm sorry." I mumble,"I"m not making this any easier for you."
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