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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 13, 2008 0:01:10 GMT
I wince slightly at the reminder, glancing out the window again. Should've when I had the chance... when Andra died. We could both have died that night and this wouldn't have happened.
Normally I don't regret anything or want to change the past... but suddenly I really, really wish that I had never run into Logan again. Or that I killed him... or something... when I had the chance.
Too many chances and I made the wrong decisions. Now I'm stuck.
"There's no way out of it, is there?" I ask, knowing the answer.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 13, 2008 0:29:13 GMT
"There's one," I reply evenly, half indicating the drop out of the window while half putting a hand to my wrists, "But it's very hard to actually go through with. See stupid well wishers who don't actually get it keep getting in the way, so no, there's no way out. It's a life sentence."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 13, 2008 0:31:17 GMT
I nod, staring blankly down at my knees again, not wanting to think.
Wishing won't help anything, Arden.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 13, 2008 0:48:14 GMT
I don't know if I'm trying to make her feel worse or if it's just honesty that's doing that.
I should be trying to make her feel better, but right now she's too deep and the tougher she makes herself the better.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 13, 2008 0:57:57 GMT
I think we can officially declare this the stupidest thing you've ever done.
I shake my head. "I really am an idiot," I mutter to myself.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 13, 2008 1:05:21 GMT
"I'm inclined to agree," I growl.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 13, 2008 1:07:27 GMT
"Good," I mutter, not wincing this time.
Need to start figuring out how to deal with this... no more denial, even though it's scary.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 13, 2008 1:49:49 GMT
It brings me no satisfaction because I find myself consumed by the desire to hurt her as much as possible because her of stupidity.
You're losing it.
I am not.
The petulent response of the more conscious side of my consciousness is a sure sign that I am in fact losing control.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 13, 2008 1:54:49 GMT
This is all a very bad dream... and you can take it back.
I shake my head, trying to banish those stupid, soothing thoughts.
It's time to face reality... no more conveniently forgetting, no more blaming others, and no more denial. You fucked up and have to face it.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 13, 2008 2:04:09 GMT
"Well..." I say after a moment and my voice sounds different, colder and much more strained, "I hope Logan's happy about this at least."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2008 15:42:12 GMT
((Though it's doubtful that anyone cares, I'd feel bad if I confused somebody so... well, this thread was a bad idea so I'm pretending that it never happened. ;D ))
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Post by Ian Hunt on Jan 18, 2008 20:16:13 GMT
[ooc-lmao. nice jennie.]
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