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[Gideon Prewett]

I knock on the door, not wanting to apparate in, in case he was busy.
I knew I must look a mess, I had when I left mine and I couldn't have improved much since then.
"Come on." I mutter impatiently, waiting for him to answer the door.

[hoot]

"coming!" i yell. i go over and open the door. i had just woken up so my hair was completly mesed up and i only had one sweatpants, "hey gid. come on in." i say. my flat was still clen from when i had shown hannah it.

[Gideon Prewett]

"Thanks." I say. "Did I wake you?"

[hoot]

"it's ok." i smile then my dog comes out. "boog go back in there." i order pointing at the room where his bed was. "is everything ok?" i ask

[Gideon Prewett]

"No." I say, inviting myself into his living room and sitting down heavily. "When did you get a dog anyway?"

[hoot]

"amlai liked sirius as a dog and i can't have him as a dog and always around so i just got a dog that looked and acted exactly like he did." i chuckle and sit next to him. "now talk little bro." i say

[Gideon Prewett]

"Been dreaming again." I mumble.
I'd gone briefly into the kind of dreams I'd had, of when we'd been caught and how they'd closed in and then, even worse, how Fay had left, thinking I was dead, and-...well, I'd briefly mentioned it.

[hoot]

"what happened to takeing that potion that wouldn't let you dream, or nightmare?" i ask. "that's the only way i get some sleep. i'm still siting awake half the night thinking someones gonna come." i sigh

[Gideon Prewett]

"I ran out." I mutter, rubbing my tired eyes. "I forgot where to get more. I'm forgetting everything lately."

[hoot]

"you remembered where i lived, so your not forgetting everything." i say and go over to my closet and take out a few bottels. "this should do you for a month ok. but if you need anymore and i'm not in here, just apparate in. i don't give a care. you know that." i smile weakly.

[Gideon Prewett]

"I know." I nod, leaning my head back. "I'm fucked up Fabbie." I sigh. "My drinking's out of control, I'm smoking about 2 and a half packets a day, and I've been taking these painkillers for my leg. Really strong shit. It's like I have to take them now, or something. I'm fucked up."

[hoot]

"gid your not fucked up." i say "the only way your fucked up is if you can't fix it. and you can. look don't tell molly but i smoke a bit to. but i've been getting around to quiting because of amalia." i start, "and gid molly stopped drinking. so can you. and the painkillers, take me over to your flat and hand them over." i say. "you want to be the old you. better do what i say."

[Gideon Prewett]

"No. I can't. If I don't have them I'll go all weird. And angry. I get angry sometimes, when I run out."

[hoot]

"which is wy you have to give them to me." i say "gid if you get like that without them then you shouldn't be taking them. i'll help you through it. now i'm going to get them if you hand them over or not. and the smoking and drinking, that's the easy part."

[Gideon Prewett]

I moan, putting my hands over my face, regretting coming to him for help, but knowing it was the right thing to do.

[hoot]

"what the hell are you moaning about. you knew that if you came to me i would do this. better me than molly or isa." i say but know he would go to either of them, not wanting them to know that he had a problem.

[Gideon Prewett]

"I know." I groan. "Come on, can you see me telling Molly or Isa about this?"

[hoot]

"no way in hell, but i was trying to make a point" i say then put up one finger saying i'd be back in one minute. i apparate over to his flat and look around for the pills. i see them but know that this can't be all of them,. i set a spell on the house to make every single pill come towards the kitchen counter. "damn it gid.." i mutter. i put it all in a bag then apparate back to my house and throw them in the fire. "first thing you must do is take away the problem." i say softly watching the pills burn

[Gideon Prewett]

I hand him my prescription as well, so I couldn't get more. "Take it away from me, quick. Then just shoot me. I'm scum to the human race."

[hoot]

i take the pills and throw them in the fire. "if i had a gun i would shoot you for letting everythign get this bad, but not because your scum to the human race. your not. get that into your thick head. molly needs both of us right now so you better stick this out for her." i say

[Gideon Prewett]

"I know. I'm going to. And I'm going to get clean again, and stop drinking, and stop smoking-...and who the fuck am I kidding?"

[hoot]

"i don't know. but don't try and stop with teh smoking and drinking cold turkey. cos it's not gonna work. but these pills are what has got to stop now." i say "come on gid. you can do it, and i'll be right there with you to help. remeber, we're prewetts. we can do anything." i say smiling weakly when i say what we used to say when we were kids.

[Gideon Prewett]

"We can do anything." I repeat, managing a weak smile, then sigh heavily. "How come I'm the weak one, eh? We've been through the exact same things, and you turned out just fine. What's wrong with me?"

[hoot]

"well three things gid. i'm better at hiding things than you or molly, and i couldn't lose it like you did. i had amalia. believe me if se never came then i would be just like you, and you took a bigger blow than i did. i didn't get hurt as much as you did." i say pointing down at his leg

[Gideon Prewett]

"And I'm weak, stupid, and have absolutely nothing." I say. "Oh, besides a family of cockroaches the size of small dogs."

[hoot]

"stop doing this self pity thing." i yell, not meaning to but he doesn't have it as bad as he getting on about. "now gideon don't you even dare say you've got nothing. don't you even dare." i say deathly quite, "i know you want to have more than your brother and your sister, but molly might no function right if your really gone. you saw how bad she's gotten when she thought we were gone. if she loses one of us again it might send her off the deep end. and gideon when i thought i saw you die, i cried. i actually cried. i thought i lost my brother. and if you would actually stop trying to get isa toget over you when you both know you love each other you might have her." i say, "and don't say your weak and stupid. no one could have made it out of there alive if they were weak or stupid. you had to know how to move on and keep going and how to outsmart death." i say, "now stop with this bloody self pity. i need you. molly needs you twice as much, and isa needs you almost as much as molly." i finish

[Gideon Prewett]

"Well, maybe I shouldn't have made it out in the first place!" I shout back. "You're the oldest, you're the one that held us all together! Molly needs you! Isa needs you!"

[hoot]

"you may be ruight about one thing. molly does need me. but she needs you just as much you moron!" i shout, "and you didn't see isa fall to her knees when i read the letter to her. you didn't see her cry her eyes out when she thought you had died. you're acting so thick right now that you can't see how much she still loves you!" i yell "don't say you shouldn't have come back because you know it's not ture." i yell

[Gideon Prewett]

"It is true! You don't know what you're talking about! You're right! I didn't see it! I'm glad! I don't want to know how upset she is because of someone that isn't fucking worth it! I don't want to know how much people hurt because of my stupidity!"

[hoot]

"dear god gideon why can't you fucking see it?! you are worth it to her! your worth it because she loves you! why the hell are you doing this?!"