Before I go insane...er

[Gideon Prewett]

Nervous.
Very nevous.
Extremely nervous.
Calm the fuck down, Gid.
I knock lightly on the door, knowing that I could apparate in, but having no intention of staying here long so there would be no point.
"Come on...Isa..." I mutter, shifting nervously on the doorstep.

[Isabella Knox]

I sit up on the sofa after hearing a quiet knock at the door.
It couldn't be James, Jason, Molly, Sirius or Fabian.
They always just apparated in.
I stand up and walk to the door.
I open it and see Gideon standing there, and i can't help the smile that spreads across my face.

[Gideon Prewett]

"Er...hello." I smile, "Can I talk to you a minute, please? If you're not busy."

[Isabella Knox]

"Yeah sure." I smile, and stand back, letting him into the house.

[Gideon Prewett]

"No, it's okay. It won't take a minute, I'll stay out here." I say, clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth anxiously, then forcing myself to look at her.
"Well, you don't have to listen or take any notice of what I'm saying, and I don't expect anything, just to clarify. And I'm sorry if me turning up here serves to make you hate me or feel bad or confused or anything but I have to get this off my chest before I go insane...er. But-...um-...what I'm trying to tell you, but failing at because a monkey could do a better job, is-...well," I pause, sighing at my own stupidity. "I love you Isa. I have always loved you. I always will love you. I can't offer you anything, or expect anything because I have nothing to offer or expect. I left and I'm sorry. I didn't want to, but I did, so I'm sorry and I've missed my chance. But, I love you. And you're perfect, so don't change a thing."
I smile awkwardly. "Well, that's about it-...um-...bye."
I turn and start walking back down the path and away from the house.

[Isabella Knox]

I blink for a moment, taking in everything he was saying. Before stepping forward and grabbing his hand, spinning him round to face me. "I never stopped loving you." I admit softly, wanting to say much more, but the words seemed stuck in my throat.

[Gideon Prewett]

I look down at our linked hands so I wouldn't have to meet her eyes, feeling like there was a lump sticking in my throat. "I'm sorry." I say softly.

[Isabella Knox]

I put my other hand under his chin, lifting his face up to look at me. "There's nothing for you the be sorry for." I say quietly.

[Gideon Prewett]

"I shouldn't have left in the first place." I sigh quietly.

[Isabella Knox]

"But you had to, they made you and Fabian leave." I reply.

[Gideon Prewett]

"They didn't hold a wand to our heads and make us. They persuaded us. It was our own choice to leave, and a selfish one in some respects."

[Isabella Knox]

"It wasn't selfish, you were trying to help." I say and shrug slightly.

[Gideon Prewett]

"Grand old job I did of that. Fabian helped, he can help. He's good at that sort of thing. I'm just a hindrance. I might as well have stayed here, or lain in a ditch somewhere for all the difference I made." I sigh.

[Isabella Knox]

"Well there's no use thinking about the past, you can't change it. It's over, done. You went, you 'died'. But now you're back; shouldn't that be the most important thing now?"

[Gideon Prewett]

"I guess." I sigh. "Well, thank you for not hitting me as I stood on your doorstep and rambled for ages, I should probably leave you in peace now."

[Isabella Knox]

I shake my head slightly and squeeze his hand. "I don't want you to leave." I smile.

[Gideon Prewett]

I smile weakly. "Maybe I'll hang around a bit then."

[Isabella Knox]

"Come on you." I smile and drag him inside. Pausing only to shut the front door behind us.

[Gideon Prewett]

"You recovered from our bout of thinking we were Peter Pan and Wendy then?" I chuckle slightly.

[Isabella Knox]

"Just about." I laugh, walking into the living room and sitting down on the sofa.

[Gideon Prewett]

"I don't think I'll ever live it down myself." I laugh slightly, sitting down next to her. "I remember this place. Is your mum around? I love your mum." I grin. "She's great. Prefers me to Fabian so she must be great."

[Isabella Knox]

"Yeah she's still around, working most of the time." I say. "And she preferred you because you're the only one who knocked the door, instead of just barging in." I smile.

[Gideon Prewett]

"Yeah, polite little angelic Gid." I chuckle. "If only she knew the truth."

[Isabella Knox]

I laugh and roll my eyes "If only."

[Gideon Prewett]

"You had a word with that brother of yours yet?" I ask her.

[Isabella Knox]

"Not yet." I sigh. "But he's probably just busy with the Order." I explain. "So what's it like....to be back after all this time?" I ask.

[Gideon Prewett]

"Good and bad." I say. "See, what it was like before was a big concrete slab, don't laugh at me this is my method of explaining. Yeah, so this big concrete slab, and then Fabian and I took off and the little part of the slab that was us, got chiselled off, and then everyone thougth we were dead and started to move on, so the little part where we were, got covered over, but not filled. But now we're back, there's still that old space, and it's still there, but we can't be there anymore because it's been covered over, so we're stuck to fill in little gaps elsewhere or just smash on the top of it. That sounded weird, but oh well."

[Isabella Knox]

"Nice metaphor." I say. "But an interesting way of explaining things."
I look down at my hands for a moment before looking back up at him.
"I'm sorry-...i'm sorry for moving on without you." I say softly.

[Gideon Prewett]

I take her hand in mine, and lift her head up to look at me. "No, it's right this way. I want it this way, well, kind of. I don't want you to have waited around for me. That's wrong. I'm glad you moved on."

[Isabella Knox]

"No you're not." I say. "And recently, i've been wishing the same thing." I whisper truthfully. Very aware of his warm hand holding mine.