What's Stopping You?

[Ian Hunt]

"Because people won't let me die." I reply, "I've tried to kill myself four times. But someone always intervenes. Someone always saves me when I don't want to be saved."

[Jake Moore]

I look down again, not sure what to say to that for a moment, then shrug.
"So maybe you ought to stay saved," I say. "If it's been interfered with that damn often, maybe you shouldn't be trying to kill yourself."

[Ian Hunt]

"Maybe." I say non-committedly, "Or maybe this is it. Maybe this is when I should do it."

[Jake Moore]

I open my mouth to reply, then realize I can't really argue with that logic.
I sound like one of those wishywashy people I can't stand. If he wants to die, why the hell should I stop him?
Because... you know how much you'd hate it if he were a friend of yours?
I shrug.

[Ian Hunt]

"Yeah, I'm not going to," I say, still looking down at the ground, "If I was, I would have done it by now and not stayed up here talking."

[Jake Moore]

"Good point, I suppose," I say, lifting my eyebrows. "Although personally, I'd probably wait until the annoying person left, then do it anyway." I shrug again. Not to give you any ideas....

[Ian Hunt]

"You trying to talk me into it or out of it, or what?" I snort, taking a cigarette out of my pocket and lighting it, then stopping, "Do you mind? If you did it's kind of late now anyway."

[Jake Moore]

"No, that's fine," I say, moving slightly so that I'm getting a stream of fresh air. Then I shrug again. "So I'm not very good at this. But you did say that you weren't going to do it, so...."

[Ian Hunt]

"Fair point," I shrug, looking back at him for the second time in the conversation, "Thanks anyway though."

[Jake Moore]

I shrug. "Anytime, I guess. Happy to save a fellow mudblood Slytherin." I laugh slightly. "Even though I didn't help much."

[Ian Hunt]

"We've got to stick together, us mudblood slytherins. Doubt there are many more of us." I laugh slightly.

[Jake Moore]

"Yeah, probably not. And if so they won't admit it."
I look around some more now that I don't have to watch so he doesn't jump.

[Ian Hunt]

"Don't blame them. It's not exactly something to be proud of if you're around other Slytherin's is it?"

[Jake Moore]

I shrug. "Being proud of the sort of things most Slytherins are proud of isn't really something to be proud of," I mutter. "You ever met... Andrew Gin, I think his name is?"

[Ian Hunt]

I choke slightly, "Yeah, I've met him," I mutter bitterly, "Why? Have you?"

[Jake Moore]

I snort slightly, then wince. "Yeah, I sort of have. Interrupted his fun and then cursed him before I knew his name." I shake my head. "Stupidest thing I've ever done, I know."

[Ian Hunt]

I look at him sympathetically.
He was in for a rough ride now.
"Man, you've got yourself into deep shit with that one."

[Jake Moore]

"Yeah, no kidding," I mutter. I think about my parents' house again, and quickly block it out.
That was not your fault. It wasn't him. It couldn't have been him.
"What'd you do, if anything, to give you the honor of making his acquaintance?" I ask with a bleak smile.

[Ian Hunt]

"I didn't do anything," I mutter, "He heard my orders from the dark lord. Wanted to make sure I did them. Latched on to me. Got pissed when I disobeyed," I run a hand down the burnt scar tissue on my arm, "Burnt down my girlfriend's house."

[Jake Moore]

I feel a slight chill when he mentions 'the dark lord,' throwing off my opinion of him for a moment, then decide I'm being stupid.
"She okay?" I ask him, looking at the scar.

[Ian Hunt]

"She was a little shaken, very shaken, a few cuts and bruises but she's fine. I haven't seen him since but-..." I stop, shaking my head slightly.

[Jake Moore]

"Yeah, I hadn't seen him either for a while, 'til my parents died." I shake my head. "It was just one stupid moment, where curiosity got the better of me, and I just had to see what was behind that locked door..."I shake my head, putting emphasis on 'locked.'
"And now a psycho hates me and my sister." I shift my shoulders uneasily.

[Ian Hunt]

I arch an eyebrow, curiously, but don't ask, "Sorry," I say, knowing condolances did nothing but saying it anyway. "Hey, at least it's only one psycho that hates you, right?" I force a weak smile.

[Jake Moore]

I shake my head at the condolence and then wince. "Are you saying you have more?"

[Ian Hunt]

"Gin, Payne and Andrews." I nod, "Quite a few Order members too, but they're a lot easier to shake off than death eaters. Owens, Wood, Watkins for a while but not anymore."

[Jake Moore]

"Ah," I say, feeling a little uncomfortable. I don't recognize the names except for Watkins, vaguely recalling hearing something about a kid who got his throat slit in the forest.
"So... who's side are you on, if both are after you?" I ask.

[Ian Hunt]

"I like to think of myself as neither." I snort, "But it doesn't work like that. Death eater." I say bitterly, "I'm only trying to stay alive though, man. That's all I want to do. Just stay alive."

[Jake Moore]

I nod, ooking down at the floor. "Can't blame you for that," I say, and shrug.
Then I grin. "I thought you'd lost the will to live?"

[Ian Hunt]

"I got it back again, then it goes, then it comes back. It's back at the moment. Plus, have you seen what they do to people? Both sides, victims mutilated. Fuck, I don't want to go like that."

[Jake Moore]

I nod, silent for a moment. "Both sides? And there's another reason if I ever have to talk you out of killing yourself again."