What's Stopping You?

[Ian Hunt]

I sit on the ledge of a window. The same window Erin had jumped out of to kill herself.
I remembered promising her we'd die together. Broke that one.
I sigh slightly, looking down at the drop below me.
Maybe it'd be easier to just give up.
There didn't seem to be any point anymore.
Came here for a fresh start, came to this fucking place to start a new beginning and everything caught up with me again.
I was never going to be free of all the things I'd done, I was never going to be able to live with it either.
I couldn't pretend to be Ian anymore.
I was still Chris. Still me. Can't just change who you are because you don't want to be them anymore.
It'd just be easier to give up, just move forward slightly and drop and that'd be it. Go be with Erin and Rowan and Claire and Matt and Gid again.
The thought seemed more welcome than anything right now.
So what's stopping you from dropping then?
Nothing's stopping me.
So do it for fucks sake.
I will.
What. Is. Stopping. You?
"Nothing's stopping me." I say quietly, but stay where I am.

[Jake Moore]

I walk up to the tower to think and see some guy who I think might be a fellow Slytherin. I hesitate for a moment, not sure if he'd rather be alone, and then decide to speak.
"I hear this is a popular spot lately."

((Sorry... if you wanted someone else to answer I can leave.))

[Ian Hunt]

"Yeah, it is." I reply, not looking round, keeping my gaze on the floor.

[ooc-no worries. open thread.]

[Jake Moore]

"Hmm..." I nod, looking around. It's very high up here... breezy... good place to think or to unthinkingly get yourself killed.
I shrug and don't say anything more.

((Hmm... it's your stalker bodyguard by the way. I haven't talked to you in a while.))

[Ian Hunt]

"So, what are you doing up here?" I ask, still not taking my eyes off the drop below.

[ooc-oooh. hello. i would say message me but my messaging doesnt work for some reason. i'll talk to you in the ooc section if ye wants.]

[Jake Moore]

I glance over at him.
"Thinking," I say. "Calmly, for once, which might mean that I'm not thinking. You?"

((Shrug. Sure. Except I asked you a bunch of questions... I think... the last time I tried to talk to you and I don't know what they were.))

[Ian Hunt]

I shrug.
I wasn't really sure what I was doing up here.
Thinking about jumping. That's what I was doing.
Didn't need to tell him that though.

[ooc-that kinda sucks]

[Jake Moore]

"Ah," I say, deciding not to press it, and remembering how good it felt to throw things at the walls and hurt my hand. I continue to look up at the sky, though feeling slightly tenser.
If he does jump... I can't just sit back and watch....

((Whee! I did, however, use my magical reasoning abilities to figure out that everything I said would be in Arden's outbox! (Revolutionary, I know.) So now I want to talk to you, ooc.))

[Ian Hunt]

"So, what's your name anyway?" I ask, finally looking up from the ground, but still not turning round to look at him.

[ooc-yayness.]

[Jake Moore]

"Jake Moore," I say, looking at him again. "Yourself?"

((I started a fairly obvioulsly-named thread ooc....))

[Ian Hunt]

"Ian Hunt." I reply, "Seventh year Slytherin. You?"

[ooc-yeah i worked out which one it was lol]

[Jake Moore]

"Also a seventh-year Slytherin," I say, shaking my head with the disgust that comes up lately whenever I think about my house." I glance at him. "Just out of curiosity, you got any problem with mudbloods?"

((Impressive.))

[Ian Hunt]

"Don't tell no one but I am a mudblood." I snort, "Oh the shame, the shame." I say sarcastically, "Was adopted by purebloods."
I pause, "Why? You got a problem with mudbloods?"

[ooc-i thought so too]

[Jake Moore]

I raise my eyebrows, then laugh slightly. "Also a mudblood," I say. "Funny... I made the mistake of mentioning that to one of the first people I talked to, and she said that there are no mudbloods in Slytherin." I shrug. "Bunch of liars and inbred prats."

[Ian Hunt]

"I'd drink to that." I reply, "Not to mention fucking lying murderers. Man, we've got to be in the worse house in the school."

[Jake Moore]

I snort. "And to think I chose to be there. Yourself?"
I relax a little now that he seems distracted and has also been cleared of deatheater tendencies.

[Ian Hunt]

"Too dumb for Ravenclaw, too rude for Hufflepuff, too dishonest for Gryffindor. I reckon the hat thought oh he's got some souls on his conscience let's lump him in with all the other psychos." I say bitterly.

[Jake Moore]

"Nice," I say with another soft snort, my smile faltering slightly when I realize that he's killed people. "I almost wound up in Ravenclaw, but I didn't want to be weak... I begged the hat to let me be in Slytherin. I think it was disappointed in me."

[Ian Hunt]

"Didn't know what you were getting into with Slytherin?" I guess. "I just told it to put me in a fucking house so I could get it off my head. Probably helped with the Slytherin judgement."

[Jake Moore]

I laugh slightly. "Yeah, maybe." And I shrug. "I was a stupid kid who got ambushed on the train by a couple of fifth years who put weird ideas in my head about blood status and all the houses. Didn't know about the psycho thing."

[Ian Hunt]

"Me neither. Worked it out pretty quick though." I shrug, eyes returning to the drop.

[Jake Moore]

I stay silent, watching him look out.
"Nice view?" I ask finally.

[Ian Hunt]

"No, fucking awful." I reply.

"Erin jumped off here. This window. Couldn't catch her." I say after a moment. "I loved her."

[Jake Moore]

I look down at the ground, not sure what to say. Remembering the house and the magazine still in the postbox.
Sorry, I think but can't say. So there is a use for readers after all.
"Sorry," I manage.

[Ian Hunt]

I look back at him for the first time.
I hadn't actually meant to say it out loud.
"Yeah," I say after a moment, "Me too."
Then I turn back to look out at the grounds.

[Jake Moore]

I stand there for a while, not saying anything.
"You're not going to follow her, are you?" I say after a moment.

[Ian Hunt]

"I don't know." I reply honestly, "That was the plan. There doesn't seem to be much point in carrying on being alive. My brothers are dead, my sister is dead, my best friend is dead, my-...my Erin is dead. Maddie doesn't love me anymore, she doesn't want me near her or the baby, I'm sure. There just doesn't seem to be much point. I'm not even sure what's stopping me anymore."

[Jake Moore]

I think a moment, raising my eyebrows.
"Will to live?" I ask. "Revenge? The fact that there's probably somebody out there who'll wind up doing this a couple weeks from now if you do it now?" I shrug. It's not like I know the guy.

[Ian Hunt]

"I lost my will to live when I was 16. Revenge I can live without. And someone will probably end up doing this a couple of weeks from now whether I do it or not."

[Jake Moore]

I shrug and look down at the floor again.
"If you lost your will to live at sixteen, then why the hell are you still alive?" I ask.