lost, confused and lonely....should I??

[Hannah Pettigrew]

I walked through the castle letting my feet take me where they pleased. I wasnt thinking about where i was going.I didnt care. All that was in my head was Fabian and his letter. I couldnt believe what had happen in my life. I couldnt believe he was dead. We could have been happy. I would have been Mrs. Hannah Prewett. Why did he have to die? Why didnt he come back? And worst of all who killed him?
Anger and sadness bolied in my mind and i couldnt think, i couldnt see.

When my feet finally stopped and my legs finally collasped. I was on the tower. I look up and see the stars. Something that usually calmed me down, was now repulsive. I sit with my back to the edge. Crying and Sobbing. I turn the ring on my finger. I opened the letter again.

dear hannah, i'm so sorry i left without telling you. you know me, i'm a thickhead. haha. no i just didn't want to say bye to you. i didn't want to leave you here and me go where ever the hell these idiots send me with molls. look hannah, please just know this one thing. i love you. i love you more than anything in this whole world. never forget that. if you do anything for me, don't forget that. i love you. seeing as i'm not sure when i'll be back i wanna give you this. you think that you could be hannah prewett when i get back? love you hannah. see you in a little while. forever yours, fabian

i read it again and again. more tears coming each time.
He loved me. He wanted to marry me. He thought he was coming back. These thoughts whirled in my head.
I relized now how much he loved me. I thought before he just left and never came back but now i know the truth and cant bare to live with it.

I love him
But what about Peter you love him
But..Fabian
Fabian is dead
I want to be with him
You want to be with Peter
Peter has a kid
he loves you
Fabian loved me
But hes dead
Then i want to die
No you want to live and be happy with peter
But what about jerami
Screw Jerami
He never loved me
He always loved you, you were his weakness
Shutup
bequiet i dont want to hear your opinion
fine, but keep him as an option
No
NO

I stand up and get on the ledge.

No dont do it
why not
cuz there is someone who will love you, his name is Peter
Fabian...
is dead, get it through your head...dead
but i dont want to

i stand there not knowing what to do

i should jump
No you shouldnt
Jerami...
SHUTUP!
jump
dont jump

my mind battled as i stood there

((only reply to this if you know Me, Peter or Fabian real well))

[Peter Pettigrew]

"Hannah?" I asked quietly, walking out onto the tower.

[Hannah Pettigrew]

i turn around when i hear Peter's voice. I didnt want thim to see me like this. "Please leave" i say choking on my tears.

[Peter Pettigrew]

"No. Get down." I commanded, my voice strong, completely opposite of the pain and hurt and confusion on my face.

[Hannah Pettigrew]

i was surprised by his voice. "why Peter?.....itll all be easier if im gone"

[Peter Pettigrew]

I moved closer to her. "Don't you dare say that Hannah. I need you here."

[Hannah Pettigrew]

"need me?...all i do is scew things up....people around me always get hurt, even killed."

[Peter Pettigrew]

I shook my head. "That's not your fault. It happens to everyone. This is a war, it's how it goes. Please Hannah, come here." I said, pleading.

[Hannah Pettigrew]

"Peter..i dont want you to die too..i couldnt live with someone else i love dieing."i say stepping a little closer to the edge.

[Peter Pettigrew]

I stopped moving. "Hannah, I won't die because of you. I promise. I'm right here, right now. And I need you to be here with me. Please, I love you. I don't know what I'd do without you."

[Hannah Pettigrew]

i turn towards him taking a small step towards him. "you love me?"

[Peter Pettigrew]

I smiled slightly, but my eyes still showed pain. "Of course I do. You mean everything to me."

[Hannah Pettigrew]

i stood there for a second trying to decide what to do.

see he loves you

i look at the ring

talk to him

"peter...i need to talk to you"

[Peter Pettigrew]

I smiled a bit more. "Come off the edge and I'll listen for hours if you want. Fucking days, I don't care, just come down."

[Hannah Pettigrew]

I smile a little. And reach for his hand. My foot slips and i fall off the edge, catching my self with my arms. "PETER" i yell* oh god, i think i change my mind I DONT WANNA DIE* i think resisting the urge to scream again.

[Peter Pettigrew]

I ran forward and grabbed onto her arms, pulling her back up over the edge onto the solid floor again. Once I had pulled her back, I pulled her close to me and hugged her tightly. "I swear to god, if you ever try to jump off a tower, or anything else that could hurt you, ever again I will find a way to bring you back so I can kill you myself."

[Hannah Pettigrew]

i hug tightly onto him. And slightly cry. "Im so sorry Peter...i dont know what i was thinking. I love you..and i dont want to leave you....no matter, what happened in my past."

[Peter Pettigrew]

I hugged her tightly. "I'm so glad you didn't do it." I said softly.

[Hannah Pettigrew]

"me too" i say quietly. "i love you sooo much Peter, i cant even put it into words." i say still in his arms.

[Peter Pettigrew]

I smiled slightly. "Ditto." I said, then kissed her forehead. "Ever pull that again and I'll be forced to kill you in painful ways, then bring you back 'cause I'd miss you too much."

[Hannah Pettigrew]

i laugh slightly."you couldn't kill me"

[Peter Pettigrew]

I tried to stifle a laugh. "Let me pretend."

[Hannah Pettigrew]

"ok....you can pretend...but..ok..whatever i give up" i say with a small smile.

[Peter Pettigrew]

I smiled down at her. "You said you wanted to talk?"

[Hannah Pettigrew]

"yeah...its kinda awkward now though" i say looking down

[Peter Pettigrew]

I laughed slightly. "Awkward how?"

[Hannah Pettigrew]

"umm the whole..me about to jump off the tower kinda way..i think ive kinda solved it, but i think you should at least know what happened." i say with a sigh

[Peter Pettigrew]

I nodded. "I'd like to know."

[Hannah Pettigrew]

"well, this morning i went to Fabian's funeral....and if you didnt know before, we were together for a while before he died... at the funeral Yumi gave me a letter from Fabian, that was supposed to get to me before he came back...he didnt know he was going to die.." i pause. "peter...he asked me to marry him..." i say looking upat him. "and i was sooo hurt and my mind was racing..a didnt know what to do, so thats how i guess i ended up here...but know i know my answer..and thats you" i say with a smile.

[Peter Pettigrew]

I smiled slightly. "I'm glad of that." I said.