I'll never deserve it

[Remus Lupin]

"Please," I say, looking into the cell, knowing I was getting no where and the man inside was too stubborn to ever forgive me. "I'm sorry, I never meant-...please, just forgive me."

"And why should I? It's because of you I'm in here. It's because of you-...It's all your fault!" Comes the growled reply from the shadows.

"Please, I've been hung up on this for years. I need to move on. I have a fiance, and I'm going to have a son or daughter. Please, let me move on even if you won't yourself. Just forgive me." I practically beg.

"A fiance and a child. Two things she'll never have!" He roars, throwing himself at the bars so his face is right next to mine, glaring at me with such hatred. "It's your fault she's dead! You don't deserve forgiveness! You'll never deserve forgiveness!"

"I didn't mean to kill her!" I yell. "I didn't mean to!"

At which point, I'm painfully aware that there's someone standing behind me.

[Molly Weasley]

"I didn't mean to kill her! I didn't mean to!"

"see your surrounded by horrible fate! you'll never escape!" yelled the man i was hear talking to. i shot a glare over at him and look at remus. i didn't know what was happening, and i was pretty sure he didn't want me to know.
"i've got a feeling that i wasn't supposed to hear that." i mutter.

"of course not you dumb bitch!" yelled the guy i was talking to.

"will you just shut up!" i yell back at him and look over at remus.

[Remus Lupin]

"Back off and get out Lupin." He shouts at me through the bars but I was hardly listening, unable to believe what I'd just said, right in front of Molly.

"Uh-..." I stammer. "Nevermind that."

"Not tell your friends, Lupin?" He sneers. "Maybe, I should..."

"Don't," I say loudly, quickly. "Please, don't."

"That what she said to you?" He growls. "Is that what Anna said to you right before you ripped her throat out?"

"Shut up!" I roar, once again, quite forgetting Molly was there. "Shut up!"

"You have no right to talk to me that way! It's your fault I'm in here!"

"I never meant-...I-...You think I'd do that on purpose?!"

"I knew what you were like from the first time I met you." He smirks nastily. "I knew there was something mutant about you. You're a monster, you're a filthy sick monster. You shouldn't be allowed to live. You're an animal. Sub-human. A filthy unhuman monster. I pity the poor girl you knocked up."

I stare at him in silence for a moment.

He smirks again, even more nastily and turns to Molly. "I'd stay away from him, girl. And I'd tell the poor girl he managed to trick into thinking he was a decent human, to run far away before he rips her to shreds too. She probably doesn't even know though, does she, Lupin? Like Anna didn't know."

[Molly Weasley]

i stood there in shock. i didn't know what to say. i barely knew what was going on. "come on remus." i said quitely.

ooc-g2g. class is starting.

[Remus Lupin]

Molly's voice snaps me out of staring at him. "Hang on, just a minute." I say quietly to her then step forward to say almost at a whisper to him. "Forgive me."

"Never." He snarls. "Not for what you did to my daughter and my family."

"I had no control." I say so-very-quietly. "Just forgive me, let me get on with my life."

"Why should I forgive you and let you get on with your life when you destroyed mine?" He growls.

"Because yours wasn't the only life I destroyed!" I say, volume creeping up in my voice again. "You're such a selfish stubborn man! It was her that died not you!"

"I as good as died. Because I am not as low and filthy as you, I hope you never experience the pain of losing a daughter, but it destroys you. Maybe you deserve it. But I would not waste time wishing it on you." He growls, deep in his throat very quietly.

I hope Molly hadn't heard. "Fine." I say shortly. "Fine. I can't be bothered to waste anymore time coming here, trying to get you to forgive me for something that wasn't even my fault. You can stay here and rot, and I'm going to live my life whether you want me to or not."

I look at Molly, horrified by the fact that my eyes were moister than they had been in a long time. "Come on, let's get out of here."

[Molly Weasley]

i looked up at him. i could tell that he was upset. i couldn't hear some of it, but i heard bits and pieces. i tried to move but what i had heard from it made me froozen. i trued to speak. i couldn't. i tried to walk. i couldn't. i just stood there and looked up at him with my mouth slightly open.

[Remus Lupin]

"Molly, come on." I beg quietly.

"Molly, Molly, come here." He beckons to her, his voice suddenly taking on the kindly quality that it had once had when he spoke to me. "Don't worry, Molly, I mean no one harm but Lupin. I have something very important to say and you must promise me to listen."

[Molly Weasley]

i looked up at remus, trying to figure out what to do. listen to one of my best friends, or this man that seemed ok. seemed. i tried to ask remus what was going on but all that came out was a croke like sound. i started to walk slowly towards remus.
"will you just go somewhere?!" i heard someone yell. i turned around and saw the death eater i had been talking to. "why don't you leave me alone!" i yell at him. i looked down at my hans and saw them shaking. i tried to stop it, but it wasn't wroth anything.

[Remus Lupin]

"Poor Molly." He says quietly, taking her hands through the bars.
I flinch slightly as his scarred hands come into contact with hers but don't say or do anything, just watch helplessly.
"Poor Molly, don't you listen to that bastard, down there." He reassures her. "You seem like a nice girl, Molly. Very nice girl. So I'm going to do you a favour." He beckons for her to lean closer. "If you want to carry on with what seems like a full and happy life you lead, don't throw your lot in with Lupin. He's a murderer, he's a liar and he destroys people. He destroyed my family, my whole family. It's all his fault. Don't trust him, and don't let him near anything that means anything to you. He's not human. And tell the poor girl he knocked up, it's best for her to have nothing to do with him either. He's a murderer."

"You-..." I start to say something, but then can't think of anything to say. "You-...!"

"Don't worry, Lupin. I've had my say. I have nothing more to say to you, or your friend. Now get out, you're bringing the place down. Although I'm sure you'll be back to plead for something you'll never have." He sneers, dropping Molly's hands and retreating back into the shadows.

[Molly Weasley]

that snapped me out of what ever i was in. he had just insluted the man i called my brother. "you!" i yell. "don't you ever say that about him again! whatever he did wasn't intentional! i don't know what he did but you can't balme him!!" i scream. i had rage flowing through my veins, but there was still that feeling and my hands were still shaking. "bloody hands.." i mutter trying to stop again.

[Remus Lupin]

"You have no idea, do you?" He says softly from the shadows. "No idea at all."

"Quiet." I snap. "Quiet now."

"Or what? You'll rip my throat out and watch me bleed to death? Just like-..."

"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" I roar, practically throwing myself at the bars. "Or you come right here and you tell me that right to my face!"

He casually saunters to the bars and once again his face is right next to mine, he says very quietly, so Molly can't hear. "You killed my daughter. You destroyed my daughter. Sooner or later you'll have to face up to what you've done, before or after it happens again."

"I didn't mean to kill her." I say equally quiet. "And I have faced up to what I've done. Everyday for the past two years, I have lived with it. Don't you dare tell me I need to face up to it."

I turn and say to Molly. "I really think we should leave now."

[Molly Weasley]

"what? you think i'm going to leave now?" i ask. "he's got me pissed now. i'm not finished with him!" i say still trying to get my hands to stop shaking. i let out a loud groan run my hadn through my hair.

[Remus Lupin]

"He's not worth it. I've come here every spare moment I have for 2 years. Nothing gets through to him, he just says the same thing over and over again." I sigh, not looking at her, at him, at anyone. "We really should leave. I don't want you and this-...this part of my life mixing."

"You're just a coward, Lupin. A coward who can't face up the to the truth." He growls.

"Molly, please." I say desperately.

[Molly Weasley]

"just to tell you it's to late, i've already mixed with it just now." i point out. "but i want to go to." i say. when i walk out with him i pass the person i was here to see.

"see. you are afriad of me. you had to bring some tall lanky guy with you!" he yells at me.

"i'm not afriad of you!" i yell looking back at him.

"yes you are. and if it's the last thing i do i'll get you!" he screams trying to grab me through the bars.

[Remus Lupin]

"You coward Lupin! You're a coward! And a filthy sub-human! You should be locked away in case you kill anyone else! I pity your poor child! With a cowardly half-breed as a father! Coward!" He bellows after me.

I pick up my pace, ignoring him, ignoring the man shouting at Molly, and lead her out of the corridor and away from all of the prisoners.
But as soon as we are away, I find I can't look at her.

[Molly Weasley]

"remus, look at me." i say, "look at me now. i don't know what was going on with you and that prat in there and i'm not going to make you tell me everything. just tell me something so i'm not as confused and go by what i heard which was only bits and pieces."

[Remus Lupin]

I look at her but then look straight back at the floor again.
I slide down against the wall, putting my head in my shaking hands.
"I'm sorry." I say quietly.

[Molly Weasley]

i sit next to him. "you got nothing to be sorry about." i say still looking at him

[Remus Lupin]

"No, you don't understand." I say, shaking my head, horrified that a tear had just slid down my cheek.
I wipe it harshly away, determined not to cry in front of Molly, or anyone.
"I'm so sorry." I say very quietly.

[Molly Weasley]

"remus, make me understand then. and you've got nothing to be sorry about." i say and make him look at me.

[Remus Lupin]

"I have." I insist. "I try so hard to keep this-...this-..." I gesture harshly towards where we'd been. "This part of my life seperate from everything else, and-...him. I try and-...I'm sorry he spoke to you."

[Molly Weasley]

"well as you've noticed," i say talking about the man that had been yelling at me, "i've talked to by worse than him."

[Remus Lupin]

I nod numbly, trying to swallow the lump that had appeared in my throat.
I could ask her to forget what she'd heard, and even if she agreed she'd still know she heard something.
Maybe it was time to come out with it.
But I couldn't really.

[Molly Weasley]

"jusst so you know," i say to him, "you don't have to tell me and i won't talk to anyone about it. only you if you want."

[Remus Lupin]

"What did you hear?" I ask hoarsely. "Honestly, how much did you hear?"

[Molly Weasley]

"how she won't have a child or ever get married and how you should just slit his throat open and other things like that and how he'll never have a life or something." i say

[Remus Lupin]

I nod, leaning my head back against the wall, another miserable tear sliding down my cheek.
This time, I can't be bothered to wipe it away.
"I hate him, Molly." I say softly. "I hate him so much. I don't know why I come back here, week after week after week."
I pause.
"Actually, I know exactly why I come back here, it's just pathetic."

[Molly Weasley]

"well if your doing it, it can't be pathetic. and from what he said, you've got reason to hate him." i say

[Remus Lupin]

"He's justified. Everything he says is justified. That's why it hurts so much." I sigh.

[Molly Weasley]

"well i'm suspecting that you did this while you weren't in control. so your justified, and it's not pathetic." i say again, "now i am. well no. it's just plain stupid."