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Post by Michael Watkins on May 1, 2007 20:38:31 GMT
"I'll look after him anytime you want." I shrug, smiling. "I'm not sleeping much at the moment, so if you ever want to dump him on me at night, I'm normally in the RoR or the courtyard."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 1, 2007 20:43:49 GMT
i laugh and look up at him. "thanks. i'll hold you to that." i chuckle, "peters got him tonight. but how are you holding up?" i ask, meaning about jo.
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 1, 2007 20:45:02 GMT
"Honestly? Awful."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 1, 2007 20:59:57 GMT
"it's expected." i sigh and rub his back. "just let time take care of it. it'll all start to get better soon. once you hit bottom the only place to go is up. i miss her to. jo was one of my friends that i actually trusted. i trusted her with my life." i sigh
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 2, 2007 11:31:49 GMT
I flinch at the name, close my eyes in exasperation, telling myself I needed to get a grip.
"I want her back." I say quietly, looking firmly at Bill in my arms so I wouldn't have to look at Molly, or I'd feel even more pathetic.
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 2, 2007 19:53:46 GMT
"we both do. she understood that if i didn't want to talk about, she'd talk about something else. i remember once we were down by the whompping willow and we decided to jump the branches... it was right before everything started to spiral down..." i sigh. bill starts to gigle softly and play with some of mika's hair. after he's finished he fell asleep with his face leaning against mika's chest.
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 2, 2007 20:28:08 GMT
I cradle Mika softly in my arms, looking firmly down at him so I wouldn't look at Molly. "Once, when we were 6, I think. Yes, me, her and Kia were 6 and Nathan was 8. There was this big lake, where we lived and every winter it would freeze over. And we'd go and play there. One morning, it was morning, so cold, not even completely light yet and we'd all run down there and Kia and Nat were sitting on the bank. But, you know, Jo, spontaneous and crazy. She just kept running, we were racing down the bank and she just kept running. And Nathan jumped up and he was yelling and she was just laughing and skidding around on the ice. And-...and it just gave out, all of a sudden. And she was in the water. I don't remember quite what happened next. I remember Kia screaming and Nathan and me, we both just leapt into the ice, stupid thing to do, but...well we did. And then we were all lying on the bank, coughing, spluttering, freezing our bloody asses off, but very very alive." I small smile spreads across my lips and then falters. "It was then that Nathan took me aside and he made me promise to protect her. Even then he seemed to know things would go wrong. We made an unbreakable vow, that I'd protect her, or try my very hardest. Right there, on the bank."
I stay silent for a long time, not sure what had made me want to share that, but almost glad I had.
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 2, 2007 20:38:03 GMT
"well you didn't break it mika. you tried your harest to protect her. you did everything you could... but sometimes that's not enough. sometimes no matter how much you try things just don't go the way you plan." i sigh then bring ut the letter from my brothers. "my brothers were killed and i thought it was my fault, i still do in a way. they wrote this to me just before tey died. it didn't get to me until a few days ago. i'm afriad of opening it..." i sigh looking down at the letter.
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 3, 2007 15:17:50 GMT
I glance down at the letter, then return my gaze to Bill, still finding it very hard to look at Molly, in case she thought I was just as pathetic as I thougth I was.
"Well, don't open it until you're ready." I say lamely, unable to think of much else. "If you're afraid of opening it, wait until you're not, or the curiousity get's too much, either one."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 3, 2007 18:44:54 GMT
"you know," i say, "you can look at me. i won't bite." i chuckle
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 4, 2007 7:40:14 GMT
"I'm just-...scared. You're going to look at me like everyone else does." I say quietly. "That you're-being-a-pathetic-piece-of-shit look. Or that I'm-sorry look. Or the what-the-hell-were-you-thinking look. Or the even worse, what-the-hell-was-I-thinking-talking-to-you-anyway look. Any of those or any other looks that I get most of the time."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 5, 2007 12:14:35 GMT
"i don't know why people would give you that loo," i chuckle, "and how are you so sure that i'll look at you like that. i hate it when people look at me like that, so why would i put that on another person?" i smile then make him look at me, "this is my, even-though-my-friend-is-hurting-he's-still-the-same-old-mika-who-can't-figure-out-when-someone-will-give-him-the-long-name-looks-that-he-made-up, look." i chuckle, with a small smile.
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 5, 2007 15:59:56 GMT
I return her small smile. "People don't realise they're doing it most of the time. Even Rem does it sometimes. Although it's more of a 'I'm-sorry' look that he gives me. I don't like it though. Makes me feel like a little kid."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 5, 2007 16:08:08 GMT
"they mean well. but it just get's on your nerves. i know. when my brothers died i got that a lot. more than a lot." i sigh, "hey look." i say looking down at bill. he had his hands up and was playing with mikas shirt in stead of sucking on it. "maybe he broke the habit." i chuckle
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 5, 2007 17:03:54 GMT
"Good little guy. Breaking habit's now." I smile. "Yeah, when Kia died, people treated me like a bomb or something. Like I was dangerous to get too close to, and I was going to explode any minute and start shouting or crying...not that I can cry. Which is annoying. People looking at you like you're going to cry when you can't even do it."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 5, 2007 17:15:28 GMT
"yeah. everyone know i don't cry, and even if i do cry it won't be in front of people. everyone asked me every five minutes if i was ok and they knew i wasn't."
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 6, 2007 9:26:36 GMT
"What annoys me most, is like they were mocking me. I'm going to look at you like you're going to cry when you can't. I want to so much sometimes. I really do. I think maybe, if I cried I might feel, just a little better, but I can't and it pisses me off."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 6, 2007 12:15:51 GMT
"yeah i know. after all these years of making myself not cry, whe i finally do the tears won't come. unless i'm really in pain. like physcial pain."
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 7, 2007 10:28:57 GMT
"I can't even cry then. I just yell a lot, and then pass out quicker than most because I'm yelling so much instead of crying."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 7, 2007 10:43:17 GMT
"wow. we're like the anti-cry people." i chuckle trying lighten the mood a little
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 7, 2007 19:43:11 GMT
"Yep, that's us. Anti-cry people."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 7, 2007 22:51:28 GMT
"we should start our own club, because we are that awesome." i smile
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 8, 2007 15:20:11 GMT
"Oh yeah, we're definitely awesome. We own everyone else with our awesome-ness."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 9, 2007 0:17:59 GMT
"yep that's how it works." i chuckle then notice that bill fell asleep.
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 9, 2007 15:39:49 GMT
"Oop, didn't know I was that boring." I chuckle, following her gaze and realising Bill was asleep.
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 9, 2007 22:37:44 GMT
"man. and i thought that our anti-crying club would appel to him so much." i chuckle sarcasticly
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 10, 2007 15:20:34 GMT
"I thought it would." I laugh slightly. "I mean it was fantastically interesting."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 10, 2007 18:33:06 GMT
"fantastically interesting,, whoa two big words next to each other. not good for my small worded brain." i laugh
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 11, 2007 15:38:37 GMT
"Oh sorry...poor Molly's brain..." I say, patting her on the head. "Aw, you're all pat-able, look!"
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