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Post by Arden Patricks on Sept 12, 2007 21:04:24 GMT
I lie on my back in the grass, arms folded over my chest as I stare at the cloudy sky. My mind feels kind of like that – clouded – even though my face is blank. I’ve been out here half an hour and I haven’t made much progress on clearing things up.
‘Cause my best friend is a Death Eater.
But that doesn’t change who he was! He’s still the same person… isn’t he?
Yeah, maybe so, another voice answers almost before the first one is finished. But he always was a… bully. An evil, Dark bully.
He protected you, you ass! And we all were like that!
But even I have to admit that he got… carried away. And hey – I may have been a twisted little kid, but I was never as bad as they were. I just thought… you know… “boys will be boys.” But now most of them are evil… maybe even all… and I’m still just little me.
Maybe it’s not quite that bad. I mean, evil’s a strong word.
What would you prefer, then, Arden? snaps the bitter voice. They’re just a bit misguided? Had no choice but to turn out like that? You didn’t turn out like that!
That one’s got me stymied for a moment, but then I shake my head.
I got lucky and you know it. And I also got disowned and had my head treated like… like a basket full of candy. It was just because I always was too sensitive, that’s all. If I hadn’t been so sensitive, to others and in general… I could’ve wound up the same way.
Yeah, but he said he’s the best. One of the very best. What does that mean, do you think, in a group that ‘eats death’?
I feel a chill at that thought and I quickly shake my head.
But it’s Logan, I think desperately. Logan… he just couldn’t….
But he could and I well knew it. I remembered the one time I’d tried to fight him… how his brother had to pull him away to keep him from possibly killing me. I remembered coughing for air and how he’d stared at me resentfully, as if to say, “You shouldn’t mess with me, so this is all your fault.” I remembered he’d apologized in some way, after having time to cool down. And of course I had forgiven him as always… ‘cause it must have been my fault he’d gotten angry.
But then my cat was murdered….
No no no, you’re getting muddled. All your memories are scrambled. You don’t know who killed your cat. Probably it was Chris… or Fitzy… maybe Rowan. You have no more reason now to think that Logan killed your cat than you did then. When you didn’t even suspect him.
Yeah, well, I was naïve. Back then I didn’t think that we’d all grow up to be murderers.
I shake my head again and then continue to stare at the sky, my mind in frantic circles, until somebody moves in to my field of vision and peers down at me.
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Sept 12, 2007 21:11:09 GMT
"Earth to Arden!" I wave a hand in front of her face for about the third time, "Any life on planet Arden?"
I'd been wondering around for a while now, bored out of my skull, Chris was being sullen and angsty, God forbid I'd go anywhere near Logan, and Will was now pushing up daisies so I was pretty much stuck to wondering around.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Sept 12, 2007 21:13:24 GMT
I jump slightly and roll over, then look up at him, frowning.
"Rowan?" I ask. "I haven't seen you in a while."
And didn't really want to....
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Sept 12, 2007 21:16:02 GMT
"No, I was going to the say the same. What was it? We were 11, maybe, when we last spoke? I don't remember so well." I shrug, "Spotted a familiar face though, thought I'd say hi."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Sept 12, 2007 21:18:38 GMT
"I was twelve and you were older and you hated me," I nod. "So what have you been up to?"
Then I remember - traveling with Logan. Him and Chris. So they're probably what he is.
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Sept 13, 2007 16:43:52 GMT
"Oh, yeah, I remember," I scratch the back of my head awkwardly, "Not that I remember why I didn't like you. Can't have been that important, if I can't remember. I've been...around," I shrug non-committedly, "And you?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Sept 13, 2007 16:57:59 GMT
I shrug. "I've been here. And I'm pretty sure you thought I was an annoying little tagalong and also a girl... the latter of which was true." I pause and eye his left arm, wondering why in the hell I'm chatting casually with someone like that... and then whether I'm jumping to conclusions.
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Sept 13, 2007 17:02:33 GMT
"Yes, well, my gender recognition skills have always been rather sharp like that," I remark dryly, then watch her look at my left arm like it was posionous. I laugh slightly, without humour, "Do you even have to ask?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Sept 13, 2007 17:04:43 GMT
"What?" I ask, looking fearfully up at his face. "It's nothing, I... nothing."
Smooth, Arden.
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Sept 13, 2007 17:18:02 GMT
"No, it isn't, and if you really thought it was nothing you wouldn't stutter and/or be looking at me like that." I arch an eyebrow, "It's alright to ask. I'm not cold-hearted, er...well, I'm not as cold-hearted as some. I'm actually a lot nicer than I was, all considering."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Sept 13, 2007 20:49:10 GMT
"Really," I say, now staring fixedly at the ground.
Sure... sure you are. A real cuddly teddy bear now you've got a special tattoo burned into your arm.
But at the same time, his answer gives me some hope that maybe the non-bitter voice was right... that I'm just over-reacting. I hesitate a moment and then decide to just ask. "Have you seen Logan lately?"
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Sept 14, 2007 18:57:14 GMT
I choke slightly at the mention of Logan. It sounded different coming from someone who didn't practically spit it out as if it were one of the worst profanities.
Sounded almost normal.
"I-...er...no," I answer hesitantly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Sept 14, 2007 20:53:40 GMT
I frown. "Something wrong?" I ask puzzledly.
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Sept 14, 2007 20:55:04 GMT
"Um...kind of...I'm not supposed to talk to Logan, brother's orders. Supposed to be steering clear or something. Some feud they've got going that he wants me to stay out of, I don't know. I just hear...bad things about Logan." I shrug slightly, after pausing a moment.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Sept 14, 2007 20:58:31 GMT
"'Bad things'?" I repeat skeptically, with just a hint of worry. "I realize I didn't actually ask, and that this is kind of generalization, but what does someone like you consider bad?"
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Sept 14, 2007 21:00:13 GMT
"Like..." I hesitate, not sure whether to be honest or not then figuring she'd probably find ou tanyway, "Like...doing the sort of bad things people like me do...but for fun, rather than on orders. Like going after people for association, like torturing innocent people...like that sort of thing."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Sept 14, 2007 21:03:45 GMT
I shake my head a little too quickly, finding it a little hard to breathe. "No he doesn't. He wouldn't."
Told you so.
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Sept 14, 2007 21:29:59 GMT
I shrug, "That's just what I heard."
No, it's what I know.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Sept 14, 2007 21:33:11 GMT
I shake my head again. "Not Logan. You... you heard wrong. Maybe Finley. He was always a psycho."
Why are you defending him?
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Sept 14, 2007 21:40:40 GMT
I snort, "Yeah, Fin's a psycho alright."
But Fin didn't try and kill my brother. Fin didn't fuck up his friend's lives.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Sept 14, 2007 21:43:40 GMT
I nod.
Yeah. Logan wouldn't do those things.
"Um... what... what else have you heard?" I ask cautiously, looking at the ground.
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Sept 23, 2007 12:00:32 GMT
"Well, you seen Chris lately?" I ask, then draw a finger across my neck, "Got a new scar. Logan's work if I'm not mistaken."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Sept 23, 2007 13:36:00 GMT
I shake my head, starting to get angry now. "No way in hell," I mutter. "And even if so, I'm sure he deserved it. I know he's your brother and all so you'll probably take his side... but Logan doesn't do those things unless they're deserved."
Of course, it has been nearly five years since you've seen the guy... and you can't trust your own memory...
Shut up, I snap at the voice, turning my head as though it's actually a separate person sitting next to me.
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Oct 1, 2007 16:49:20 GMT
"My brother didn't do anything," I reply immediately, eyes narrowing slightly, "Logan just turned up here after-..." I stop, for a moment before carrying on, "And started fucking up his whole life. My brother didn't deserve his throat slit."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 1, 2007 18:43:46 GMT
"After what?" I ask, eyes narrowing. "And... and maybe you don't know the whole story. Have you asked for Logan's side?"
Arden, you don't know the whole story. You barely know any of it.
This time I don't bother to snap back, just ignoring the voice instead.
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Oct 5, 2007 17:24:37 GMT
"After the whole fucking...thing. Where we all took it too far, and Chris was the only one who had the guts to stop him. And Logan won't let go, until he feels he's got revenge for a failed curse. And okay, maybe, maybe Chris deserves what he gets. Okay. Assuming he does, that gives Logan the right to go after Chris' friends, and girlfriend, who haven't done anything? Because that's just fucked," I growl.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 5, 2007 17:33:31 GMT
I open my mouth again hotly, angry and ready to argue... but for once I can't defend him, unless once again I use the 'maybe he didn't really, maybe you don't know the truth' line... and that one's wearing so thin that I figure I better save it.
"I... I don't know," I say instead, confused. "I... you were his friend, too, right?" I ask, not sure what difference it makes or if I have a point I'm trying to prove.
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Oct 6, 2007 12:37:36 GMT
"Yeah, was...still am when he's not murdering and/or torturing my brother or innocent people," I murmur.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 6, 2007 14:19:40 GMT
Once again I swallow the automatic denial, and take some time to think instead.
Is that even really possible? Can you be friends with half a person?
"So... do you think it's really him? I mean... if he's hurting innocent people, but he's also still Logan... which part is really him? Or both?" I ask, not sure if I'm making any sense.
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Post by Rowan Hunt on Oct 9, 2007 16:18:50 GMT
"Both, I think," I say after a moment, "I really have no idea what's going on in that head of his."
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