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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 30, 2007 16:17:42 GMT
If I get drunk enough...maybe I'll stop hurting.
Maybe I'll stop seeing her face everywhere.
Hearing her laugh everywhere.
Connecting everything to her.
If I get drunk enough.
My eyes blur as I look at the bottles on the table in front of me.
I decide to try and count them, to pass the time, to take my mind of things.
"1...2...3...5..." I pause. That wasn't right.
"1...2...3...5..." I stop again, definitely not right.
"1..." I shove the bottle onto the floor where it smashes. "...2..." Smash. "...3..." Smash. "...5..." Smash.
No, that was wrong.
"No!" I say loudly. "That's wrong!"
I groan in frustration, dropping my head to my hands and taking another swig of the bottle in front of me.
What a stupid idea it was to count bottles.
Sure are stupid, aren't you Mika?
Sure are.
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Post by Molly Weasley on Apr 30, 2007 20:56:16 GMT
"mika it's 1 2 3 4 5." i chuckle walking up to him. "are you drunk?
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Post by Dorcas Meadowes on Apr 30, 2007 23:18:49 GMT
"Course he is. I can tell from all the experience I have had with you." I say.
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Post by Molly Weasley on Apr 30, 2007 23:24:49 GMT
"very funny." i chuckle. "well if you can't remeber what is after 3 mika it's time to put them all down. come on." i say dragging him up to his feet.
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Post by Dorcas Meadowes on Apr 30, 2007 23:31:21 GMT
"Cassy no firewiskey rule number one says once you have gotten to the dizzy hazy faze which is generally after 2-3 bottels you should stop. Clearly you are way past that." I say.
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 1, 2007 7:36:05 GMT
"4!" I say triumphantly, sitting back down where Molly had tried to pull me up. "1...2...3...4...! I've had 4!"
I down the rest of my last bottle. "5!"
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 1, 2007 11:12:22 GMT
"good you can count now, but you've had to much. now i'm going to get you back to the castle and it's not going to b with you passed out. now up." i say pulling him back up and starting towalk towards the door with my hand grabbing his arm.
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 1, 2007 11:34:50 GMT
"No." I moan, struggling to get back to the table and sitting back down again.
I lift my fifth bottle up, then realise it's empty.
"What happened to my firewhiskey!?" I exclaim annoyedly.
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 1, 2007 20:39:57 GMT
"you drank it. now come on you big oaf." i chuckle bringing him back up again and pushing on his back so he couldn't get back.
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 1, 2007 20:40:53 GMT
I moan and stumble out of the pub. "I want my firewhiskey!"
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Post by Dorcas Meadowes on May 1, 2007 21:52:03 GMT
"No more!" I say.
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 2, 2007 11:01:27 GMT
"mika. you've had your firewisky." i chuckle, "and tomorrow you'll have a hell of a hangover." i add
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 2, 2007 11:19:00 GMT
"Good! I deserve it! I need more firewhiskey...!" I say, stumbling past them and walking half into the door frame.
I fall backwards and sit on the floor, contemplating my own stupidity. "Gah." I say eventually.
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 2, 2007 11:21:53 GMT
"gid there's another me.." i sigh under my breath. i sit next to him and look at him. "why do you derserve it?"
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 2, 2007 11:22:35 GMT
"Why do you think?" I practically yell, then lie back on the floor with a groan, not caring much about getting dirty.
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 2, 2007 11:25:53 GMT
"don't yell at me." i say firmly. "now mika, you need to come on. you don't derserve this." i sigh making him sit up and tried to make him stand up but he end up falling. on me. "mika, get off." i chuckle.
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 2, 2007 11:27:15 GMT
"I'm sorry." I mumble, rolling off her and lying on the floor again.
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 2, 2007 11:28:38 GMT
"it's ok. i've been worse when i'm drunk. now come on." i say trying to pull him up again. "you know you could help me." i chuckle
ooc-g2g. classes are starting. bye!
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 2, 2007 11:29:41 GMT
I shake my head and lie back down, not wanting to get up. "I deserve to lie here, and get trampled and cold and dirty and have one hell of a hangover. I deserve it all." I moan.
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 2, 2007 18:37:16 GMT
"well i've gotten that part, now the real question is why. why do you think you derserve that?" i say decideing that he isn't going to move if i try and make him. might as well humor him.
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 2, 2007 18:41:22 GMT
"Because." I give another agonising groan and roll over onto my stomach, face down in the dirt. "Because. Just because."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 2, 2007 18:45:20 GMT
i roll him over so his face isn't in the dirt. "mika. come on, just tell me." i sigh and put my hand on his chest so he can't roll over again
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 2, 2007 18:46:20 GMT
"I killed her." I moan. "I killed Jo."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 2, 2007 19:26:32 GMT
"don't say that." i say firmly, "don't you dare say that because you didn't. you didn't kill her. now i know you loved her, i loved her just in a different way. but mika we can't dwell on the past. jo wouldn't want you getting drunk just to try and make things better. she would want you to get off your butt and make them better. i don't know why you think you killed her, but get it in your head. you. didn't. kill. her."
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 2, 2007 19:31:04 GMT
"I did. I killed her. I killed her." I say miserably. "It's my fault she's dead. It's all my fault. Completely and utterly, the blame rests with me."
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 2, 2007 19:34:25 GMT
i let out an sigh and sat there for a minute trying to think of what to do next. "ok. how about you tell me why it's our fault she's dead." i say trying to reason with him.
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 2, 2007 19:40:15 GMT
"Because, she was offered the choice-...she-...He-...He told her, before she died, that she could be either die herself, continue being a death eater, or trade my life for her freedom. She chose to die herself. Rather than trade my life, which I told her to do if the situation ever arose. She died so that I could live when my life isn't going anywhere. Hers was. Mine never has been. But still...she chose to die so I could live and I don't want to!"
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 2, 2007 20:19:43 GMT
"mika come here.." i sigh and hug him. "she did that because she loved you. that's what people do for the ones they love. i would choose to die over any of my friends dieing. i would gladly die if that meant bill or arthur could live. i'd do it in heart beat. i'm sorry you feel likes it's your fault, but mika.... it's not your fault."
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Post by Michael Watkins on May 2, 2007 20:21:27 GMT
"It is! And she came to me, right before she left! She said she was going to make things right and I didn't-...I didn't realise-...I thought she'd found another-...she meant she was going off to die and I just let her go!"
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Post by Molly Weasley on May 2, 2007 20:41:05 GMT
"mika, that's just it. you didn't know. she know you loved her. and you know she loved you, but mika, you've got to find another way to try and make things better. you can't do this to yourself. think about what this is doing to your other friends, like me. i know that you aren'ready to let go just yet, but mika i hate seeing you like this. your my friend and i hate to see you hurting like this." i say
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