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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 20, 2007 17:24:12 GMT
"I know that." I sigh. "I know all of that is true, but I can't just-...you didn't-...She died in my arms." I say bitterly. "She was still alive when I found her." I say softly, more to myself than her, standing next to her at the piano and looking down at the keys so I didn't have to look at her. "She was trying to breathe, trying to speak, but she couldn't." I shake my head, having to stop myself before I forced myself to relive everything.
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 17:26:57 GMT
"I'm sorry." I say softly. "You don't have to tell me everything, about what happen. I can see it's still painful for you. I know it won't go away...but your sister would want you to move on. And not hurt yourself like you are right now."
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 20, 2007 17:39:40 GMT
"My sister-...Kia wanted to live." I say, voice shaking. "She didn't want to die and it's not fair."
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 17:46:37 GMT
I place my hand over his. "No one wants to die. I know it's not fair." I was trying to word everything carefully. "But I understand what you're doing, and if you do need a friend I'm here for you okay?"
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 20, 2007 17:49:59 GMT
I nod slowly. "Thanks. I don't know what to do." I say honestly, sitting heavily next to her at the piano. "I want-...I think I want him dead, but-...I don't know if I could ever do it."
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 17:56:16 GMT
"Everything is a process leading to a result. To achieve the best results, people wrack their brains, clench their teeth, and apply themselves diligently- and sometimes risk their lives. Never the less...the results of such efforts are not always happy. Tears of grief and sobs of anger...the results they achieved were always so. This reality cannont be known, if only they knew that... and so they assumed the burden of false sin and lived in the darkness where there is no light." I say quoting some one else. "In other meanings, if you do kill him are you going to face the fact that you are then a killer? That you look a life when you knew it was unfair that your sister's was taken? Are you willing to take a burden of a sin? Are you willing to live in the darkness and never come back to see the light?" I ask quietly.
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 20, 2007 18:01:26 GMT
"I feel like I am sometimes. Sometimes, I feel like I'd do anything to make it right. To make things even, you know. I just want to do something, so I won't see her every time I close my eyes-..." I stop, tears filling my eyes.
I knew I wouldn't cry though.
I can't cry.
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 20, 2007 18:08:10 GMT
I look into his eyes. He was crying. "Mika," I say hugging him. "Let it out." I say nicely. "You need to cry, I know it's painful for you to let it go, but even making things even won't bring her back."
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 21, 2007 9:46:25 GMT
"I know. And I can't cry. It's physically impossible for me." I smile, painfully blinking back the tears. "This is as close as I get to crying." I pause and then say slowly. "And this is the most I've ever said about Kia's death...er...wow..."
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 21, 2007 12:40:01 GMT
I pull away, "Don't worry I won't tell anyone." I give him a smile. "And everyone can cry, it's just if you let yourself."
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 21, 2007 20:03:27 GMT
"Thanks." I smile. "And I can't. It's physically impossible for me to cry. Knock to the head, about a year ago, when Kia died, I got knocked out, my tear ducts are...I don't know. I never bothered to find out. I just know it's physically impossible for me to cry." I laugh slightly. "I'm a freak right to the core."
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 22, 2007 4:02:37 GMT
"Everyone is a freak just in different ways."
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 22, 2007 10:08:08 GMT
I smile. "You're pretty good at this you know. You have an answer to everything." I laugh slightly.
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 22, 2007 13:35:18 GMT
"I try," I giggle. "I maybe wise for my age...I highly doubt it though."
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 22, 2007 13:40:32 GMT
"You seem wise for your age to me."
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 22, 2007 13:43:05 GMT
"Thank you Mika." I laughed. "So how far have you gotten?"
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 22, 2007 13:44:53 GMT
"How far have I gotten with what? Sorry, mind blank."
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 22, 2007 13:53:28 GMT
"With school and stuff. Are there any girls you like yet?" I tease.
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 22, 2007 13:56:16 GMT
I laugh. "I don't know anyone well enough to like them yet. I know Belle, not very well, Yuri, not very well, Dahlia, Izzy, Jaki all not very well, Molly, not very well. I don't know people well enough yet. Why have any friends who are as nice as you?" I wink jokingly.
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 22, 2007 13:58:13 GMT
"Because there is safety in numbers?" I laugh.
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 22, 2007 13:58:43 GMT
I laugh.
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 22, 2007 14:01:25 GMT
"You know it's true."
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 22, 2007 14:02:03 GMT
"Yeah, I know it's true." I grin.
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 22, 2007 14:05:06 GMT
"What are you planning Mika?" I ask looking at the grin on his face.
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 22, 2007 14:07:13 GMT
"Nothing, I was just thinking...are we friends?" I smile slightly.
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 22, 2007 14:08:41 GMT
"Well I would hope so." I laugh. "Friends?"
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 22, 2007 14:09:55 GMT
I laugh. "Good, friends."
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 22, 2007 14:11:40 GMT
"You'll be my best Ravenclaw buddy."
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Post by Michael Watkins on Apr 22, 2007 14:13:06 GMT
I laugh. "And you can be my best Hufflepuff buddy then."
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Post by Rin Lupin on Apr 22, 2007 14:14:11 GMT
"Who other than I would be your best hufflepuff buddy?" I asked.
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