panic

[Alexandra Foster]

I stare with growing panic at the mountains and mountains of books that are cluttering my table in the library. Somewhere in the pile is my half-completed essay, but I can’t seem to find it. I press a mildly shaking hand against my forehead, tangling it in already-disheveled hair.
You are deeeeeeeply in trouble, Lexi-Andra, my brother’s voice sings mockingly, and I let out a tired groan as I move to push my sleeves up past my elbows and then realize they’re already there.

“You should drop Herbology,” Arden’s voice says calmly from just across the table, through a gap in the piles of books. She doesn’t look up from her Potions essay, but I can tell that she wears a slight frown.
I stare at the top of her head, and she answers my unasked question, looking up as she finishes a paragraph.
“You’re a wreck, my dearest, look at you. And do you even enjoy it or think it will be useful in future endeavors? Not if all the muttering you do is any indication.”
I glare at her but she ignores me.
“Just because you’re good at it doesn’t mean you have to try and get another NEWT. Especially if doing so is going to make you fail half your other tests.” She shakes her head at me sadly. “Nobody’s perfect, Lexi-Andra.”

Her use of the family nickname would seem to give me cause to glare at her again, but somehow I can’t summon the energy for more than mild grumpiness.
If nobody is perfect, why do you seem to have it together? I think vindictively.
She frowns again slightly at her essay, then stands up still looking at it while gathering some books.
“I’m going to put these back and get Defense….” She mutters distractedly. “And you could always drop Potions, or Ancient Runes or something,” she adds rather unfairly. The message is pretty clear – drop Herbology or give up on being an Auror. Or drop one of my favorite classes. I watch her prance away, looking far too happy and rested, and then slowly start to hammer my forehead against a stack of books, on the verge of tears again as I have been for two weeks.

[Riley Pearson]

I was sitting at a table in the library trying to write my Potions essay, getting fed up with it, I shut my book and lean back in my chair not really thinking about anything.
A moment later I heard a banging noise and turned around in my seat to see where it was coming from. My eyes past over a bookself or two and they came to a girl surrounded by stacks of books, hitting her head repeatedly on a stack of books. I raise my eyebrows slightly, and not wanting to continue my essay, I pick up my things and head over to the table.
"Hey... You okay?" I asked the girl once I got to her table.

[Alexandra Foster]

I continue hitting my head against the stack of books until I hear a voice and look up, immediately wanting to sink into the ground as I realize I must look a mess. Dark rings under teary eyes, messed up hair, a sweater I've been wearing for about a week straight with one sleeve rolled up to the armpit and the other falling down to the elbow.
"Fine," I mutter, face going hot as I look down at the table - and finally catch sight of my essay, crumpled up between stacks of books. "Just a long... year," I mumble after a moment.

[Riley Pearson]

I nod my head, "Know what you mean.." I say glancing down at my Potions essay that was still in my hands laying ontop of my book. "Try not to get too stressed out... It only makes things worse" I add grabbing a chair and sitting down, "I'm Riley by the way" I say holding out my hand. "You want a kneenex or something?" I asked her with a small smile shortly after.

[Alexandra Foster]

I shake my head, managing a smile, and remembering to shake his hand before I rub vigorously at my face, trying to wake myself up. "Andra Foster," I nod after a moment. "Sixth year Gryffy and soon-to-be failure."

[Riley Pearson]

I chuckled slightly, "Nice to meet you... I'm a 7th year Raveclaw" I say taking my hand back, "and I'm sure you're not gonna fail" I add smiling slightly and shaking my head.

[Alexandra Foster]

"I might," I mutter darkly, then shake my head. "No, you're right, I sound like Arden," I say, shooting a glare in the direction of some bookshelves that she may or may not be the ones she's immersed in. "Nice to meet you too though," I add with a tired smile.

[Riley Pearson]

"I thought I'd heard your name somewhere, I know Arden" I say smiling back to her.

[Alexandra Foster]

"Oh... my condolences," I nod. "And don't believe anything she told you. Compulsive liar, that one."

[Riley Pearson]

I laughed, "I can't remember if she said anything specific about you to have lied about though" I say chuckling slightly.

[Alexandra Foster]

"But I'm her most interesting friend," I say, raising my eyebrows. "What else could she possibly talk about?" I shake my head, yawn, and start shifting books around, trying to organize them slightly.

[Riley Pearson]

I laughed slightly and shrugged, "We kind of just ramble about weird things..." I say thinking about it for a minute.

[Alexandra Foster]

"That works, too," I nod, then yawn again and tap my head briefly against the books. "So... you said you're a seventh year. How did you survive that long?"

[Riley Pearson]

I laugh lightly and shake my head slightly, "I really have no idea" I told her shrugging, "I was pretty stressed out for a while, think I may have had a mental break down, I tried taking on way too much at once"

[Alexandra Foster]

"Hmph," I laugh. "Wonder what that's like." I shake my head, rubbing my eyes and ironing my face with my hands. "So exactly how unpleasant is a mental breakdown?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "And what are the first symptoms?"

[Riley Pearson]

"I think I remember doing basically what you were doing when I walked over..." I said thinking about it, "Try to calm down... drop some classes maybe" I shrugged. "Personally I hate dropping them, but sometimes you should"

[Alexandra Foster]

"Yeah, I know," I grimace. "Little Miss Perfect just reminded me of that not long before you got here." I shake my head. "I'm actually rethinking my career plans at this point, so I guess she's probably right."

[Riley Pearson]

I shrug, "Well, no one forcing you to do anything, what were thinking about doing?" I asked her curiously.

[Alexandra Foster]

"As a career, you mean? Auror. I've wanted it since I was nine, but I'm starting to think I can't keep up, and I don't know what my priorities are anymore." I glare in the direction of the bookshelves again. "Is it bad to be this jealous of one of your best friends?"

[Riley Pearson]

I nod my head, "I wish I knew what to tell you" I say before answering her question, "I think that it depends on the degree of jealousy.." I tell her chuckling slightly, "But maybe there's no reason to be, maybe they're just... hiding the fact that they're not as together as you think they are."

[Alexandra Foster]

I bite my lip, looking up at him anxiously. "Are you serious? Dammit." I glance in the direction Arden went again and sigh. "I knew that, really. I just want to be mad at somebody I think. And I'm used to... bad as this sounds... being the one who helps out others when they're wrecks. Not being a wreck myself. So... it's almost like I want all my friends to be worse off than I am."

[Riley Pearson]

I shrugged, "Don't feel too bad about feeling that way, I think everybody does at some point" I say smiling at her slighlty reassuringly.

[Alexandra Foster]

"People are icky like that," I nod, smiling wryly. "But anyway... I'm going to straighten myself out, starting now. If she can do it I can." I frown slightly. "No, that sounded bad...."

[Riley Pearson]

"Wait... how'd that sound bad?" I asked her sounding slightly confused.

[Alexandra Foster]

I shrug. "Kind of assumes that I'm somehow superior, and that it's easier for me to do things. That's not how I meant it though... just that she had farther to come." I shrug and frown down at the books in front of me. "And I'm going to start by dropping a class or two, then getting the rest of my schoolwork done."

[Riley Pearson]

I nod my head, "I didn't think that" I say shaking my head slightly, "And good for you, It'll be easier" I add with a small smile.

[Alexandra Foster]

I nod firmly, punching my fist in the air. "To victory!" I say in a stage whisper sort of 'yell,' since it would be extremely inconvenient to be banned from the library right now.

[Riley Pearson]

I laughed and grinned lightly, "I wasn't expecting that" I say chuckling.

[Alexandra Foster]

"No, I don't think I was, either," I say, shaking my head solemnly. "But that's okay, because it was lots of fun. You should try it." I say brightly, smiling.

[Riley Pearson]

I laughed and ruffled some of my hair, "Maybe I will then" I say chuckling.