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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 13, 2008 18:27:22 GMT
I stumble rather shakily away from the scene of the crime, unable to fully believe what I’ve just done and trying to convince myself not to look so horrified.
It was me or you, Arden. And I know which one you’d choose.
Somehow this thought, directed at a ghost, isn’t quite as comforting as it was intended to be. I lean back against the wall, no longer entirely certain where in the castle I am, and close my eyes.
Several dozen mental images of my little sister – most of them making her seem even younger than me than she is… or was… because I don’t have many recent ones in which she’s smiling at me – start flooding through my brain, and I quickly open my eyes again.
“It was me or you, Arden. Me or you. And I had to choose myself, just like you would.” I whisper almost silently to myself in the empty hallway, desperately trying to find something that will justify her murder.
It wasn’t what I intended when I lured her with that note. If Logan wasn’t going to be of help, well… I did have a deadline. So as much as I’d expected that it wouldn’t really work, I had tried. I had tried to find a way to keep us both alive, and she of course refused. Vehemently.
But minor aches and pains from our impromptu duel don’t really seem to count toward making it okay inside my head… not when I was the one to start it, and she had not fought back until I’d thrown at least three curses. It was mildly disturbing just how well she’d thrown a crucio, but with our childhood I suppose it makes sense she would have learned that someplace. And all that I think of now is my long-standing admiration for her skill level, and what a total waste it was from a purely objective viewpoint….
Why couldn’t you just take the offer, Arden? I demand of her angrily. Just a little Mark… and it’s really not so bad. Except for when you have to make impossible decisions like the one that I just made.
I shake my head hard, determined not to think that. Determined not to think anything, really, since it seems like each and every train of thought leads to regret. Some of them, of course, lead to more regret than others. And it’s hard to just stop thinking.
”We used to be friends, Arden!”
I laugh bitterly, fingers brushing over the Mark as I shake my head disgustedly.
But I guess not anymore, right Fitzy? Friends don’t really kill each other much.
I push away from the wall to continue down the hallway, jumping in guilty surprise as I notice there’s somebody standing there, looking at me oddly from a few feet down the corridor.
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 15, 2008 21:44:43 GMT
Kyra wandered on through the long corridors, as she walked. She stretched her arms up in the air, and let out a small yawn. Keeping them up as she followed to the bathroom, she felt like getting some time to herself for once.
Espeacially with all what was going on, loosing her best friend, sorting out the arranged marriage and trying to not get pregnant. All at the same time, she just couldn't help but torture someone. But she just simply shrugged it off, putting her arms back down to her sides. And shoved them back into her pockets.
Her eyes followed the walls, searching for various areas. Moving her eyes to the window, looking outside. It was getting late, and it seemed that no one else was around. Until she walked around the corner and into Myrtle's bathroom.
She stood there for a minute, before then realized it was Fitzy. She bit her lip softly, Just what I need. She stood there, giving him a strange look. Trying to figure out what he was ot what he had done. She did not speak, since there was no words coming to mind.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 16, 2008 20:53:25 GMT
((I'm not actually in the bathroom, by the way... just a random corridor.  )) Oh, fuck, I think angrily as I realize who it is - the very last person that I want to see when I've just killed my sister. I swallow hard, trying not to let my voice shake... but then realizing that's futile and not speaking anyway, just giving a very small nod. |
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 16, 2008 20:59:22 GMT
~Ah, okay. Lol, well she walked around the corner then ;D~
Kyra returned his small nod, biting her lip slightly more. "Fancy seeing you here..." She said, very quietly, looking out of the window.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 16, 2008 21:46:01 GMT
I nod again, somewhat too quickly, realizing yet again how spooked I must look, eyes wide.
"Fancy seeing you here as well," I mutter, not really listening to myself.
Fancy seeing you here when I've just killed my sister and you're the one person I told who said don't do it and that I was heartless. Guess I should have listened to you. But I tried! I swear I did.
I'm not entirely certain whether I'm thinking these things because I want her to hear them or not. I'm not really thinking clearly at all at the moment.
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 17, 2008 19:03:20 GMT
Kyra sighed, shoving her hands in her pockets and swinging lightly on her feet. She heard what he thought, she couldn't believe he had done the oppisite. "Fitzy.." She said through a quite sigh. Moving her head towards him for a moment and then back outside of the window.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 17, 2008 23:02:14 GMT
I glance over at her as she says my name. "Yes?" I ask with just a hint more challenge than really necessary. What? You going to say, 'I told you so'?
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 19, 2008 14:42:11 GMT
Kyra shook her head lightly, "Of course I'm not gonna say 'I told you so' It seems a bit harsh. Even for this sort of time. But. I know that I shouldn't of, that I shouldn't of even told you what to do. In the end of the say, it is your descicion. Though I didn't want you to do it.." She said to him a bit more calmer than before.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 19, 2008 15:17:13 GMT
I stare at the ground, feeling worse with every word... wishing she would yell at me I guess. Tell me just what sort of scum I am.
"I just fucking murdered my little sister," I say in a strained voice. It hasn't quite sunk in yet.
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 19, 2008 15:47:43 GMT
Kyra rolled her eyes slightly, "Then you should of fucking thought of that in the first place then!" She yelled.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 19, 2008 21:56:42 GMT
I nod. "You are probably very right about that."
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KyraHereCantBeBotheredToSignIn
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Post by KyraHereCantBeBotheredToSignIn on Jan 20, 2008 14:23:50 GMT
Kyra sighed, shaking her head slightly. "Then if you knew I was right. Why did you still do it then?" She asked softly.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 15:01:53 GMT
"Because...." I lean back against the wall again with a soft groan, hitting my head and liking the pain because I deserve it. "Because I just.... There's a deadline. That I think passed yesterday, or a couple of hours ago. And Logan wasn't showing his pretty little head to convince her, so I thought maybe I could. Maybe she'd actually listen to me...." I shake my head, getting the feeling that I ought to be crying right now if I was the type of person who cried.
"But she didn't," I continue quietly. "She didn't and we fought... stupid, irrelevant arguments and way too many hexes.... I had no idea she could throw a crucio like that...." I stop, pressing the heel of my hand to my forehead and shaking my head, gathering my thoughts. "And I didn't know what else to do... the deadline was approaching or maybe already passed, and I felt like I'd tried everything so then I just killed her." I say this last bit casually and let out a shaky breath, determined to find a way not to care anymore.
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 20, 2008 15:15:36 GMT
As Kyra listened she moved to the window and sat on the edge. When he had finished, she simply nodded. Understanding now what he was going though. She twitched her nose slightly, kinda of glad that Fitzy wasn't the emotional sort of person.. But wished he was sometimes, maybe just once. She just shrugged it off, "Okay." Was all she could think of to say right now, she knew what he was feeling and knew he was trying to forget about it already.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 15:19:57 GMT
I nod, then throw her an unreasonably angry sort of glance, not saying anything because I know that if I do it will be ridiculous and undeserved.
Should've stuck with jumping off the tower.... I mutter bitterly. Chances are this won't even have worked.
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 20, 2008 15:38:36 GMT
Kyra glanced up at him, raising one eyebrow. "You would of jumped off the tower?"
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 15:44:49 GMT
I glance at her briefly and shrug. "That was my first plan... for about fifteen minutes." I grimace slightly. "But I literally ran into someone and got a little sidetracked.... Hatched the brilliant idea of recruiting her instead." At this I feel another flare of anger, directed at Logan, and notice that my hand is clenched in a fist. If only he had talked to her like he was supposed to, this would not have happened. Terrified of him for all my life or not, he is going to pay for that.
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 20, 2008 15:50:55 GMT
Kyra nodded, "Thank god someone side-tracked you.." She mumbled, and then looked down at his fist. Angry, not surprised. Never met Logan though, so wouldn't really understand completly what/why he done this.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 15:54:05 GMT
"Right," I snort bitterly, shaking my head. "Because it's so much better this way."
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 20, 2008 15:57:51 GMT
Kyra rolled her eyes again, "Yet again, your being heartless.." She chuckled.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 16:11:32 GMT
"Oh? How so?" I ask, laughing humorlessly.
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 20, 2008 16:21:02 GMT
Kyra chuckled more, shaking her head slightly. "You know what, I do like you the way you are. Don't ever change.."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 16:23:40 GMT
I look at her oddly, not even able to form a reply to that for a moment because it seems like the strangest possible reply to my question.
"You have very strange taste in friends then," I manage eventually.
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 20, 2008 16:25:47 GMT
Kyra nodded, "I know, but your different, and I like that. Since all my other friends are always emotional about these things...And I guess it does get a bit annoying after a while.."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 16:50:07 GMT
"Ah, I see," I nod. "So now you like me 'cause I'm heartless." I shake my head bitterly.
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 20, 2008 16:51:51 GMT
Kyra shook her head, "No, I don't want you to be heartless...But I guess that's who you are."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 17:40:48 GMT
No it's not! I want to argue, but instead I shake my head. "Shouldn't be."
But what makes you think I actually don't care, anyway?
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 20, 2008 18:04:42 GMT
"Go ahead and argue. I don't really give a shit. It's your thoughts.." Kyra shrugged.
"I know that you care, never know when or who though."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Jan 20, 2008 18:26:58 GMT
"Keep forgetting you're a bloody reader," I mutter, ignoring what she said. "Not that I can turn off my thoughts anyway."
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Post by Kyra Demure on Jan 20, 2008 18:29:27 GMT
"Not that I can help myself from reading people's thoughts either," Kyra shrugged.
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))