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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 6, 2007 21:57:07 GMT
I give a sort of laugh. "Did he?" I ask weakly. "All I can remember is him hexing me... and hexing Logan... but he keeps saying that he did it to protect me and that he was just fucked up...." I shrug. "I know he had serious issues with the idea of finding a living thing and just leaving it be instead of hurting it...." I shrug again. "I guess you... we... you, manly... all were kind of like that... I think."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 6, 2007 22:04:14 GMT
"Yeah, the looking out for you bit was the hexing Logan bit if I recall correctly," I mumble, "Yeah, we were all twisted I think, you being the least twisted."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 6, 2007 22:07:30 GMT
"Too sensitive..." I mutter, then laugh humorlessly again. "I was going to ask him to stop, you know, back in the clearing, right before you hit me with that curse. I figured you deserved it, but... even if someone deserves it... guess I'm just too squeamish," I shrug.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 6, 2007 22:19:14 GMT
"Not necessarily a bad thing," I reply, then shrug, "He would have ignored you even if you had. And I pretty much did deserve it."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 6, 2007 22:26:31 GMT
I raise my eyebrows a bit at that, then shrug. "So..." I say, then shrug again, not knowing what to talk about anymore.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 6, 2007 22:41:45 GMT
"Well said," I mutter.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 6, 2007 22:47:45 GMT
"Thank you," I laugh. I look down at the desktop again and fidget with my book.
So... you no longer hate him but also don't hate Logan... this is terrifically fun.
"It's easier to hate you, you know," I say, looking up. "It's easier if it's all black and white... death eaters and order, you vs. Logan, good vs. bad." I shake my head. "Not that that's a profound statement," I mutter bitterly.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 6, 2007 22:53:46 GMT
"You can hate me if you really want to. You're not the first and won't be the last," I shrug, "Seeing things in shades of grey, huh?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 6, 2007 22:57:27 GMT
"Yes," I nod. "Starting right when Logan showed me that... mark," I say, with a great deal of disgust around mark. "Right then it got fucked up... and then it just got more. It's like someone spilled the paint cans and they won't stop spreading toward each other... every time I draw a line between good and bad, it gets blurred." I shake my head. "And I can't decide to hate you... it'd be simpler, but wrong."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 6, 2007 23:07:39 GMT
I pause a minute, before saying finally, "Nice metaphor."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 6, 2007 23:12:18 GMT
"Thank you..." I laugh slightly again, then take a deep breath. "So...." I say slowly. "Um... I've been meaning to ask this of Logan, but I can't seem to find him. And... I don't know, you're here and all.... Why did you join up? Just because our parents were... well, the way our parents were?"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 6, 2007 23:28:55 GMT
I half-shrug, "I dunno. Dad seemed to think it was the right thing to do, Logan and Will and Fin had already joined up, so I just followed suit. Didn't occur to me what I was actually doing until it was already done."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 6, 2007 23:30:39 GMT
I nod. "How old were you then?" I ask suspiciously, thinking it seems like rather a stupid thing to do.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 6, 2007 23:33:41 GMT
"I was...11, I think, when I got involved. Didn't get the mark til a few years later but it would have been impossible to back out in that time anyway."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 6, 2007 23:38:00 GMT
My eyebrows shoot up at that, as I realize how naive I was. I give a disbelieving laugh. "I think I still knew you then...." I say. "So... wow." How the hell did I not know that?
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 7, 2007 14:14:14 GMT
"Yeah, we still knew each other then. Just didn't broadcast the information, you know?" I laugh, trying very hard not to make it sound bitter although I doubt I managed.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 7, 2007 15:43:54 GMT
"I would imagine," I nod, slightly under my breath. I pick at my fingernails for a moment, then give soft laugh that isn't really a laugh. "I take it you regret it?"
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 7, 2007 15:48:28 GMT
"Not a day goes by where I don't," I nod, "You're not...involved, are you?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 7, 2007 15:55:51 GMT
I shake my head quickly. "Got lucky, I guess... apparently I dropped off the face of the Earth for a couple of days, and when I showed up again didn't remember much... best explanation I've got so far is that my parents got sick of arguing, didn't want to curse me for some reason, and just messed with my head instead."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 7, 2007 16:02:05 GMT
"Uh-huh," I say slowly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 7, 2007 16:05:11 GMT
I shrug, feeling rather like an idiot. "Like I said, it's the best explanation so far...." I shrug and look down at my fingernails again.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 7, 2007 16:09:46 GMT
"So they just like...fucked around with your thoughts...memories...?" I ask.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 7, 2007 16:14:21 GMT
"I guess, yeah..." I nod, not really liking to think about how I'd felt those first few weeks. "All I really know is that I showed up at school and people said I had been gone... I didn't recognize most of my classmates and had trouble doing all but the most basic magic, and... the longer I've thought about it, the more I've realized that there are holes throughout my life... sometimes whole people just don't seem to exist, sometimes it's more like patches of time..." I laugh weakly and try to steady my voice. "I don't know who or what did it, but at least it's getting better."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 7, 2007 16:21:23 GMT
"Maybe you'll remember who did it, if it's getting better," I shrug.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 7, 2007 16:25:22 GMT
"Unlikely," I shrug. "I don't really care at this point... might even thank them if I do find out." I pause and try to remember how we got on this topic.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 7, 2007 19:13:29 GMT
"Ah...okay then," I say, for lack of anything better to say.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 7, 2007 19:31:49 GMT
"Right..." I nod, then can't think of anything else to say.
This is very odd.... 'How have you been?' I snort lightly at that thought, then fidget with my book again, wondering what to talk about and why I still want to.
"You... want to sit down?" I ask, since he's pretty much been standing in the doorway this whole time.
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 8, 2007 17:53:02 GMT
"Er...no, I'm good thanks," I reply awkwardly, still standing in the doorway, "Want me to leave?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 8, 2007 18:38:32 GMT
I shrug. "Not especially... unlike ten minutes ago." I laugh slightly. "Do you want to leave? I don't really care."
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Post by Ian Hunt on Oct 8, 2007 18:39:47 GMT
"Like I have anything better to do," I shrug slightly, leaning against the wall but not sitting, "Can't exactly go home, to either one."
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