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[Rowan Hunt]

I raise an eyebrow, "You want an honest answer or shall I lie and say I'm neutral?"
Hopefully that'd get me out of answering, because I hated to say what I was. She'd work it out from that, Order members tended to not have a problem divulging their alliance.
"I suppose, doing something worthwhile...I'd like to do that before I die."

[Alexandra Foster]

I look at him a little more warily now. "And in your case, what would you consider 'worthwhile'?" I ask somewhat stiffly. Then I shake my head. Never mind.

[Rowan Hunt]

I snort. That always happened. The stiff and/or cold tone.
"In my case, because I am of course no longer a human being in your eyes I'm sure, worthwhile would be redemption. Or at least a chance to save a life rather than take one."

[Alexandra Foster]

I look down at the steps. "I'm sorry. I just... no, I'm not. I don't know." I pause to gather my thoughts, and decide that I believe him. "I know that... some of you are decent. But it's hard not to judge when... when some of your buddies killed my mum, and sent my siblings into hiding."
There you go, Andra. Trust him with all of your secrets. That way if he kills you, choice a, or doesn't, choice b, you'll finally have your answer. A foolproof test.

[Rowan Hunt]

"It's fine. I mean, if I were you, I'd think the same." I say, which was my way of apologising, "And you know, we're not 'buddies' we mostly hate each others guts and would stab each other in the back at a seconds opportunity...that's not painting a very good picture. It's just-...I am sorry about your family. But once you get into it, there's no way out. It's orders or a slow and painful death of the innocent people you love. There's no explanation or apology for it at all. But I am sorry."
Why the hell are you apologising for who you are?
Because it's not who you are. It's what you are.

[Alexandra Foster]

I nod slowly, taking that in, and then look him in the face. "I'm sorry too," I say softly. "I really am. I didn't... I'm not exactly. Well basically I'm sort of naive. And I'm sorry that you're stuck."
If you are stuck. But I shake off that thought.

[Rowan Hunt]

"Wish I were naive," I mutter, "It's just life, that's how it is. Can't change it, why bother being sorry about it?"

[Alexandra Foster]

I shrug. "Because if you're not sorry then you're too much like the people after my siblings?" I ask, then laugh lightly. "Not to be cheesy or anything." I snort softly. "And being naive is probably going to get me killed, so...." I shrug again.

[Rowan Hunt]

"Fair point," I agree, "But if being naive means you're staying clear of taking either side, you've got more of a chance of staying alive than most people around here."

[Alexandra Foster]

I snort again, rather louder this time. "I'd love to join the Order, to be honest.... I'm just not allowed to. So instead I... go around saying that to everyone I meet. without finding out first if they can be trusted." I shake my head. "You being a case in point."

[Rowan Hunt]

"Again, fair point," I incline my head slightly, "Although, question time, does me being a...what I am, mean you can't trust me?" I arch an eyebrow.

[Alexandra Foster]

I look at him carefully. "Well, if not, I'm pretty much screwed," I say, laughing slightly. "But no... not automatically. I think I believe you. Trust you." I shrug.

[Rowan Hunt]

I laugh slightly, "Good job I'm not a completely heartless bastard then."

[Alexandra Foster]

"Are you a partially heartless bastard?" I ask with a slight laugh, looking down at my books again.

[Rowan Hunt]

"Hmm...depends on who you ask." I smile slightly, "I'd say not. Everyone else would probably say yes." I laugh softly.

[Alexandra Foster]

"Hm... absolutely everyone else? And... is there any evidence for either side?" I pick at a corner of one of my books.

[Rowan Hunt]

"Well, most people that know me anyway," I shrug, with a slight smile, "My family definitely. Well, evidence, right, the heartless side, I can be an ass, and I lose my temper a lot and say things I don't mean," I admit, "Like really bad things. Majorly hitting below the belt things. But the non-heartless side, well, I have a daughter." I say.
I knew having a daughter didn't prove anything, but why she was my daugher kind of did, I just couldn't tell her that. I couldn't tell her she was my brother's daughter and I'd taken her as mine to save his sorry ass.

[Alexandra Foster]

"Your family thinks that you're heartless?" I say. "Except for your, um, daughter?" I shrug. "I don't think that those things make you heartless... nor does having a daughter prove that you're not."

((Lol... my sisters are plotting your death so that I'll stop talking to you and they can have the computer. Just a warning.))

[Rowan Hunt]

"Well, yeah, my mum hates that I ran off. My dad thought I was useless before he copped it. My brother and I...are in the midst of...a turbulant...erm...heated discussion. Oh, and my dear cousin Cilla is just a little bit insane so...yeah," I say, "No, I guess they don't. And well, I try and be a good dad, try and make her happy. And well, I can't exactly tell you, why she's mine, but I'm pretty sure it'd count as a non-heartless strike, well I hope so anyway."

[[righto. thanks for informing me.]]

[Alexandra Foster]

I nod, looking at him oddly. "Take your word for that, I guess." Then I shrug. "Does it bother you that they think you're heartless?" I ask. Cilla... where have I heard that name before?

[Rowan Hunt]

I smile slightly, "Thanks. No, not really. Well, it bother me what Ian thinks. He's the only one of the family I actually like, he just drives me insane most of the time."

[Alexandra Foster]

I nod. "So the others are just relatives, not family," I say, remembering what my dad had said about his stuck-up parents. "And yeah, siblings can do that, I guess," I add, looking down.
What I would give to talk to them....

[Rowan Hunt]

"Yeah, guess you could say that," I nod, "I wanna talk to him again so badly, I want to apologise, he's just so damn stubborn and so fucking selfish sometimes." I stop myself.

[Alexandra Foster]

I nod, still looking down, heart aching.
"Where is he?" I ask, and then laugh slightly. "Sounds like you're a little bit still on the 'heated discussion' side of things, rather than ready to apologize."

[Rowan Hunt]

"Probably at home, with his girlfriend, who doesn't know anything about what he does." I sigh slightly, "That bothers me as well, as you can tell. Yeah, I am still kinda pissed at him." I laugh sheepishly.

[Alexandra Foster]

I shake my head. "Might be best if you don't start up the, ah, 'heated discussion' gain right when you're trying to apologize," I say. "So he's... you know... too?"

[Rowan Hunt]

"Yeah, it's kind of scary though. It's like he get's lost in it, he just does it and he's...so cruel, but then it's like he snaps out of it and he's shaken up and-..." I shake my head, "What I'm pissed at him for, is the latest suicide attempt."

[Alexandra Foster]

I wince. "Wow. Ouch." At least it snapped me out of my on-the-verge-of-crying state over my own siblings. "So he tries to kill himself and you yell at him? Are you sure that's the best way to go about it?"

[Rowan Hunt]

"No, he tries to kill himself, and I have an agonising wait thinking that my brother is going to die, then we talk and I ask him why and he always just shrugs, then I tell him he needs to let me get him help, then he tells me he's better now and he won't try it again and then he does it again. And I got kind of fed up, and yelled, and he yelled and hexed me. So I hexed him back. Then we yelled a bit more, then I left."

[Alexandra Foster]

"Ah..." I twist my mouth sympathetically. "I can't really blame you for yelling..."

((I have to go now before my brain falls out, I starve to death, and then my sisters kill me. So... you should go to bed or something. It's midnight over there, isn't it?))