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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 21:07:01 GMT
"Really? What'd I say to change your mind?" I asked her curiously.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 21:16:19 GMT
"Nothing in particular," I shrug. "Just... getting to know you better, talking in general."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 21:22:44 GMT
I nod my head slightly and shoved my hands in my pockets, not knowing what to add to it.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 21:30:19 GMT
I whistle briefly and awkwardly through my teeth, looking at the ground a moment.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 21:32:06 GMT
"... This's worse than usual..." I say, commenting at the silence.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 21:35:03 GMT
"Just a little," I nod, racking my brain for some sort of 'safe' topic.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 21:37:49 GMT
I nod my head and bite my lip, thinking of something to say.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 21:43:03 GMT
"So... um... feeling any better?" I ask lamely, shrugging.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 21:47:05 GMT
I shook my head slightly, "Not really much..." I tell her honestly in a quiet voice as we walked. "... Feeling kind of... guilty, lately.."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 21:51:02 GMT
I bite my lip slightly, shrugging. "That's... normal," I say, almost saying 'understandable' but not wanting to imply that he ought to feel guilty.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 21:54:31 GMT
"... Ainsley.. kissed me, and... I kissed her back... I-I don't even know why, I don't like her and I didn't want to kiss her." I said after a small pause, ".. I just, uh, wish I didn't... I feel hoirrble..." I finsihed wondering why I even told her this, but having already said it, didn't worry about it much.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 22:04:49 GMT
I raise my eyebrows slightly at that, understanding why he'd definitely feel pretty awful.
"Probably just a... reflex, sort of thing?" I suggest, not sure if this is likely to make him feel better or not. "I know you didn't mean it...."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 22:11:20 GMT
I nod my head slightly, "Reflex.." I said to myself silently, before thinking about a few moments ago when I almost wanted to kiss Arden, wanting to be honest with her and tell her, but feeling that that wouldn't help the situation and just make matters worse. I shook my head slightly, mostly out of habit now, something I had picked up from Riyann and tried to get it out of my head.
What's wrong with me? I love Riyann.. I thought to myself, rubbing my head slightly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 22:21:43 GMT
I nod, noticing he doesn't look all that convinced.
"It doesn't mean that you don't... I mean...." I shrug, not sure how to say it.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 22:23:38 GMT
"That I don't what?"I asked looking over to her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 22:29:57 GMT
"Never mind." I shake my head, unable to say it. "It doesn't mean that you're a bad person though... I mean you shouldn't feel guilty."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 22:33:32 GMT
"No.. what were you gonna say?" I asked her, wanting to know what she was thinking. "I-It's hard not to..." I shrug.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 22:41:40 GMT
"Nothing...." I shake my head. I can't say 'nothing important' since the words were 'it doesn't mean that you don't love Riyann.' But I honestly don't think that I can force both the words 'love' and 'Riyann' out of my mouth at the same time like that. Both are too emotionally intense. I shrug, not sure what else to say.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 22:45:27 GMT
I look away from her, feeling like I knew what she was going to say anyway. "'Course I love Riyann.." I say silently almost mumbling them, having be almost easier to say quiet than loud or in a normal voice, assuming that that's what she was going to say.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 22:49:23 GMT
I nod, relieved that he said it and I didn't have to. "'Course you do," I agree.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 22:51:40 GMT
I nod my head slightly, watching my feet as I walked. "D-Do you still have that picture?" I asked her, remembering that she had picked it up when I dropped it.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 22:54:21 GMT
I glance down at my hands, startled , and realize that yes I do... rather more crumpled than it ought to be, but there. "Sorry," I say softly, wincing slightly at the state it's in as I hand it back to him.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 22:57:44 GMT
I shake my head, "Don't be.. You didn't let it blow away." I say to her, taking it back and looking at it. "Thanks." I smile, tracing a finger over the picture.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 23:00:31 GMT
I nod, not saying anything in reply as I watch him look at it.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 23:03:46 GMT
I wipe a stray tear off my face, still smiled faintly. "It's my favorite one.. That's why it's nearly in pieces right now.."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 26, 2008 23:04:49 GMT
I smile faintly, still not sure what to say in response.
"It's a good picture."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2008 23:06:20 GMT
I smile and nod my head, "Yeah." I say looking at it a little longer and putting it back in my pocket.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 27, 2008 14:18:17 GMT
I hate this and I want it to just go away, I think, closing my eyes briefly as we walk. Naturally when I open them again I've managed to drift off to the right a bit, so I correct that, shaking my head.
And I still really hate this and want it to stop.
I forget for a moment about sticking with only 'safe' topics, just asking what first comes to mind.
"Is it cowardly if you don't do anything in this war even though you know you should?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 27, 2008 15:28:03 GMT
I looked over to her, a little startled by sudden question and then shook my head, "It's not cowardly... If anything I'd say it's smart. Staying out of it, is probably the safest thing you could do." I say in a normal voice again, really not wanting her to pick a side and do something. I'd lost too many people that I loved in this stupid war.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 27, 2008 16:46:19 GMT
I nod. 'Smart' and 'cowardly' are not mutually exclusive. Neither are 'safe' and 'cowardly.'
"I agree with both of those... but isn't it still cowardly? Even if it is safe and smart?"
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