Lonely

[syndelleryan]

I walked into the forbidden forest, I left the twins with the house elf... I walked to the place where I had first met Justin..."Hmmm Justin you changed me, Man how I miss you" i said aloud

[syndelleryan]

I began recaping our moments we had together and Imagined what it would still be like if he were with me still.... i leaned against tree..."You stole my heart" i said remembering the song he sang to me when he purposed to me...I slowly began to slide down the tree " Justin I love you" i yelled like a crazy person

[syndelleryan]

"No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there?ll be no rest for these tired eyes
I?m marking it down to learning
I am

Don?t think that I can take another empty moment
Don?t think that I can fake another hollow smile
It?s not enough just to be sorry
Don?t think that I could take another talk about it

Just like me you got needs
And they?re only a whisper away
And we softly surrender
To these lives that we?ve tendered away

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there?ll be no rest for these tired eyes
I?m marking it down to learning
I am

Don?t wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don?t wanna be somewhere where I just don?t belong
Where it?s not enough just be sorry

Don?t you know I feel the darkness closing in
Tried to be more than me
And I gave till it all went away
And we?ve only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters we?ve made

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there?ll be no rest for these tired eyes
I?m marking it down to learning
I am

I am all that I?ll ever be
When you - lay your hands
Over me but don?t go weak on me now
I know that it?s weak
But God help me I need this

I will not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there?ll be no rest for these tired eyes
I?m marking it down to learning
I?m marking it down to learning
?cause I am" I sang out loud... "What was happening to me, i didnt have this reaction....

[syndelleryan]

After i finished singing I began to cry and scream....

[syndelleryan]

i now brought my knees into my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs..."Why did you have to die, why God damn it Why" i yelled

[syndelleryan]

It now began raining hard i stayed in my little ball... "Justin Why you" i yelled again

[Ebony Angel]

I was hearing screams while wandering through the forest and looked to check where they were coming from. They sounded oddly familiar then I saw it, from the corner of my eye was a person on the floor,"Dells?" I ask getting closer

[syndelleryan]

" Justin help me I cant wake up, wake me up, tell me you are okay, show me you are there with the twins" i yelled

[Ebony Angel]

By this time I began running towards her, I caught up and shook her gently,"Dells? Are you okay?"

[syndelleryan]

"No Nothings okay in this world, the worlds fucken messed up, it took the only person i ever loved, i just fuckin hate it I hate it" i yelled louder

[Ebony Angel]

"Dells! I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want you like this. He would want you to be happy. You have amazing friends who love you, take me for example. Do you know how much it hurts to see my best friend like this?" I say hugging her

[syndelleryan]

"I know but dont you think it hurts me to loose, the one i loved the most and i know i have great freinds but he was my best, he was not only was he my best friend he ws my husband, my love, my life" i yelled

[syndelleryan]

I then began hitting my legs, i felt them start to hurt, but kept on hitting

[Ebony Angel]

I pull her arms away,"Dells calm down! Stop hurting yourself!"

[syndelleryan]

As she pulled my arms away, I began to kick the dirt "Why the hell did he have to leave, he had a family" I yelled as i gave up on kicking the dirt

[Ebony Angel]

"Dells calm yourself!" I say taking her to a tree branch on the ground and having her sit down

[syndelleryan]

"i cant, he will always be a big part of me" i yelled as I thought about hitting my head against the thick tree

[Ebony Angel]

"I know he's a big part of you but, hurting yourself and the others around you. Who care about you, won't help in any way,"I say sternly

[syndelleryan]

"I know" I cried back.... as i fell to the ground once again "Ebony we were supposed to have a big wedding, next year, It only hurts knowing that I didnt get a last chance to hug him or tell him that I love him" i said as I cried heavily

[Ebony Angel]

"Dells but I hate to say it, you're gonna have to stop doing this. You have kids who love you with all their little hearts and you need to be alive and well to take care of them, so that when they grow up you can tell them how wonderful he was,"I explain

[syndelleryan]

"I know but its so hard trying to forget him, he was my first everything" I replied

[Ebony Angel]

I gave a hug only a best friend could, {{l0l}}"It's gonna be okay. I promise you that, nothing's gonna happen to you or the twins,"I smile warmly

[syndelleryan]

"Thank you ebony" i said giving her a hug and wiping my tears

[Ebony Angel]

"Aw...Well you know me. I'd die just to make sure my family and friends are safe, no matter what i'm assigned or what task he wants me to perform,"I say

[syndelleryan]

"Yeah, im glad i walked in hogs head, the first day i met you" i replied remembering that I met her at hogs head

[Ebony Angel]

I remembered that day like it was yesterday,"Yeah me and Rami where getting drunk with Laken and Lala."

[syndelleryan]

"Yeah and i got buzzed after one drink" I replied finally laughing

[Ebony Angel]

I began to laugh a little harder,"Yes and took a couple to get me tipsy."

[syndelleryan]

"yeah, not a heavy drinker" I said now gawfawing

[Ebony Angel]

I gufaw along with her,"I can tell."